Written by Grainne Godfree & Morgan Faust
Directed by April Mullen
Constantine: "You should go."
Desmond: "Yeah, you're right, I should but this thing between us? This was real, Johnny."
Wait, haven't we seen this before with John Constantine? He meets a cute guy, they fall in love, there's a horrible demon out with a score to settle and cute guy becomes a casualty and winds up in hell, leaving Johnny feeling rather guilty and willing to do something reckless. Yup, we have but not onscreen until now.
The cute guy in question happens to be Desmond Laveau (Christian Keyes) and the man that we've seen in visions at least twice this season and as importantly, one of Desmond's ancestors happened to be Marie Laveau (Joyce Guy), who thanks to another screw up was apparently framed as a serial killer due to a Dybbuk (Paul Reubens) running amok in 19th century New Orleans.
Now, New Orleans isn't new for Constantine even without the baggage of Desmond. We saw him go there at least twice in his own short lived show and here, he was kidnapped by Marie's henchmen before she forced his hand into saving her kin while the rest of the gang (and Ava) looked out for a serial killer in a doll's body.
Before I get onto the killer doll bit, I have to give this show massive props for actually committing to depicting Constantine's bisexuality. I don't doubt had his own show at least gotten a second season that David Goyer and Daniel Cerone would've covered it but quite possibly nowhere near as well as this show is currently doing with the character.
The chemistry with Matt Ryan and Christian Keyes was certainly electric enough and despite his posturing otherwise, Constantine showed a vulnerable side to him when telling Charlie and Zari about his relationship with Desmond. Even without Marie's insistence on the matter, Constantine was more than a little willing to save Desmond by being a bastard to him so that Neron wouldn't be able to use him as leverage.
The mention of Neron does answer another question though - that's the demon who John has been running from and it's clear the second half of the season will set Neron along with Project Hades as the main antagonists for Constantine, the Legends and other members of the Time Bureau to go up against. Right now, though, Constantine's recklessness seems to have fucked with time in a big way and I'm guessing more than just Zari being changed into a cat.
Speaking of Zari, it was amusing that she was somewhat on babysitting duty with both Constantine and Charlie but not entirely shocking that she was unable to keep both of them out of trouble. Given that she was something of a loose cannon herself last season, it's a nice commentary on how Sara trusts her to keep others in line. As for Charlie, we know why she was desperate to get her shape shifting powers back but will she have to sacrifice them again in order to help clean up Constantine's massive mess here? I'm going to assume yes to that one.
As for the serial killer doll - that was a lot of fun. Paul Reubens did a brilliant job voicing the role and damn this show for finding a way to bring back the Stein puppet from last season. Another strength of this plot was the tension between Mick and Ava and Sara trying to get the two of them to be friends. Mick went too far with the clone comment but Ava made some pretty snide comments too, so neither of them were at their best until they had to work together against the monster of the week.
Last but not least - the Time Bureau stuff. With Project Hades looming in the background, it's hardly surprising there are agents out there abusing some of the prisoners. It's cliched as hell but the budding romance between Mona and the Kaupe (yeah, Gary got friend zoned again, despite Nate reluctantly signing up as a wing man for him) is oddly sweet and I think given a certain altercation that went down, we can all predict what will be happening to Mona next.
- Ray and his god awful tush tickler was a source of amusement this week. Seriously man, I don't think you're going to win Nora over with the facial fuzz to be honest.
- Corny but amusing shout out to Angela Bassett's take on Marie Laveau on American Horror Story. I wonder what Gideon's thoughts were on the latest season. Ava also seems to be an expert on serial killers as well.
- I was actually surprised to see that Garima was actually still around, until Ava took her into Time Bureau custody. I assumed she had faded after the plot for Tagumo Attacks!!! had been resolved.
- Chronology: Both 1856 and 2018 New Orleans.
Hell No, Dolly! was the kind of episode with Constantine that I was hoping the show would do and not only did it meet my expectation, but it bloody exceeded them as well. Not only that but with the Legends sitting out the Elseworlds crossover next week, it nicely set up what clearly looks like will be one hell of a bonkers mid season finale.
Rating: 9 out of 10
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