My Review of Silent Night (2012)

 

Written by Jayson Rothwell

Directed by Steven C. Miller

Sheriff Cooper (to Aubrey): "Don't put avacado on the burger!"

With the latest remake of the Silent Night, Deadly Night franchise currently in theatres, it was time to check out the first attempt of a remake from 2012. The fact that this was called Silent Night (2012) was telling in itself.

This doesn't feel like a remake whatsoever. Aside from the killer dressed as Santa, this felt like a standalone Christmas horror movie and a rather bad one at that. This Santa's nastier than the Grinch and Krampus combined.

Things started with Deputy Kevin Jordan (Brendan Fehr) and his mistress Alana Roach (Ali Tataryn) being horribly killed by the killer Santa. Their deaths sparked off an investigation in the small town, led by Sheriff James Cooper (Malcolm McDowell) but he's not quite up to the task of actually taking out a serial killing Santa Claus.

Someone who was would be Aubrey Bradimore (Jaime King). Easily the best character in a generally bad movie, Aubrey's a consistently likable, sympathetic and flawed character throughout. She's the closest to a protagonist in this movie and genuinely wanted to do right.

Of course like most protagonists, she did get the identity of the killer wrong twice. She thought both the belligerent Jim Epstein (Donald Logue) and social pariah Stein Karsson (Mike O'Brien). Aubrey was wrong on both counts but at least an urban legend that Karsson told her eventually pointed her to the actual killer.

Yup, Ronald Jones Jr. (Rick Skene) turned out to be the killer and flashbacks did show how an affair made Jones Sr absolutely homicidal. There's several gory kills, including personal ones before Aubrey and Jones Jr. faced and even then, it's rather anticlimactic.

- There's some inventive kills involving characters going through a wood chopper, death by fairylights and a flamethrower.

- Aubrey's father was involved in the death of Jones Sr. A lump of coal was given to the Bradimores before Hank was killed.

- Standout music: O Come All Ye Faithful, Jingle Bells and Silent Night.

- Chronology: Set in the Midwestern town of Cryer during Christmas.

Silent Night (2012) isn't good, either as a remake or even a standalone horror. The idea was sound and the lead protagonist was likable but it's still a rather horrible movie that felt like the equivalent of a lump of bloody coal.

Rating: 4 out of 10 

My Review of Heated Rivalry: "Rose"

 

Written And Directed by Jacob Tierney 

Ilya: "I never hear about you with girls."

Shane: "It's private."

Ilya: "Right. Private."

Shane: "I keep a lot of things private, obviously."

I think this week, Ilya got a taste of what happens when you push your secret lover too far. For all his teasing that Shane wasn't into women, Ilya inadvertently pushed Shane into the arms of a woman and a famous one to boot.

Enter Rose Landry (Sophie Nelisse). She's a reasonably famous actress filming the sequel to X Squad in Montreal and funnily enough, both herself and Shane managed to hit it off without having to be set up with each other. If Ilya can continue whatever his relationship with Svetlana is, shouldn't Shane explore something with Rose?

Except that's not the show either gay men or the female audience want to watch. With Svetlana, at least she's aware of the score with Ilya but I have a feeling that Rose will fall in love with Shane and find out in the worst way possible that he's in love with Ilya. There's two episodes left to confirm that theory.

Now what of the rest of the episode. Shane and Ilya got their scenes together and they were as racy as the first two episodes but it's like they're falling for each other and don't know how to deal with it. It's definitely a reason why Ilya made a point about telling Shane that he liked girls. 

Ilya must have known that Shane was getting annoyed with Ilya going on about it. Likewise when Ilya found out about Shane and Rose, he could barely contain his own annoyance. It's like he went to that nightclub and got with a woman just to antagonise Shane publicly.

In fact, the two of them getting under each others skin definitely affected their game playing this episode too. They both had bad performances on the ice rink at different points in the episode. Then there was that last scene, which was pretty telling too with how they're effecting each other.

- Shane's friend now is about to be a father to a fourth kid. His daughter Ruby and Emma seem to be a handful.

- Rose talked about playing kidnap victims in a lot of her movies as well as working with Bill Paxton. 

- Standout music: Feist's My Moon My Man and t.A.t.u's All The Things She Said.

- Chronology: Summer 2014 to October 2016 in this episode.

Rose surprisingly enough didn't have as much focus on the title character as I thought but it did an okay job in establishing her relationship with Shane. While I didn't think this was a bad episode, I would say it's weakest so far.

Rating: 6 out of 10 

My Review of Miracle On 34th Street (1947)

Written by George Seaton And Valentine Davies

Directed by George Seaton 

Fred: "Faith is believing things when common sense tells you not to. Don't you see? It's not just Kris that's on trial, it's everything he stands for. It's kindness and joy and love and all the other intangibles."

For the first time the other night, I actually watch this. I've been a fan of the 1994 version since I was a child and I've always wanted to catch up with this one. This week I finally did.

The movie started with the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and you've got the Santa sloshed, much to the annoyance of event director Doris Walker (Maureen O'Hara). Fortunately there's Kris Kringle (Edmund Gwenn) and he's more than qualified to assume the role of Santa Claus.

In fact, Kris was so good in the role that Doris's own daughter, Susan (Natalie Woods) started to believe in Santa Claus and she was convinced by her mother that he didn't even exist. All Susan wanted was a family and her mother's friend, Fred Gailey (John Payne) as her stepdad. Fred wanted that too.

Within this film we saw Susan tell Kris Kringle her wish for a bigger family while preparing herself for Kringle to be unable to deal. Then there's the altercation with the disgruntled Granville Sawyer (Porter Hall) that nearly ruined Kris's reputation. Of course the court scenes only further added to Kris's credibility about being the real Santa.

The ending of course was mostly Susan getting her wish. I mean both Doris and Fred got together as she wanted and the house of her dreams. It was enough for Fred to consider the idea of Santa being real after all.

- In this version of the movie, Kris spoke Dutch to an adopted girl.

- Macy's and Gimbels only agreed to be featured in the movie after seeing a cut of it. If they hadn't, the movie would've been rewritten.

- Standout music: Jingle Bells and Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.

- Chronology: Thanksgiving up to Christmas Day in New York.

This version of Miracle On 34th Street, I think it's a classic after seeing it. Brilliant performances and a wonderful sense of magic to proceedings to boot. You really will believe in Santa Claus after watching this.

Rating: 8 out of 10 

Justice League Unlimited - Episodes 36-39 Reviews

Final batch of episodes and there's an unavoidable fate for Supergirl and the return of Darkseid.

Episode 36: Far From Home

Supergirl and Brainiac 5. Maybe one of the most underrated couples in the DC Universe. Their first meeting wasn't exactly love at first sight. Supergirl along with Green Arrow and John Stewart wind up in the 31st Century where they encounter Brainiac 5 and Bouncing Lad with the Fatal Five as the main baddies here. In the end, Supergirl made the choice to stay with Brainiac 5 and it's in the same episode she had a costume change. 7/10

Episode 37: Ancient History

Earlier in the season, Hawkman was introduced. He's back for this episode as Shadow Thief decided to show both him and Hawkgirl their respective past lives in Ancient Egypt. We also got a bit of love triangle with the pair and John Stewart along with Hawkman making a sacrifice to stop Shadow Thief. There's also a poignant final scene where Hawkgirl asked Batman to tell her about her son. 7/10

Episode 38: Alive!

The first of a two part series finale. First of all, there's some major infighting with the Secret Society. Tala's attempts to use Gorilla Grodd to usurp Lex Luthor ended up backfiring on her spectacularly. Lex had no problem siphoning Tala's magic in order to revive Brainiac. Instead he ended up bringing back Darkseid. The episode ended on a rather explosive note. 9/10

Episode 39: Destroyer 

The series finale. Darkseid being back for another attempt to destroy everything. The Justice League and Secret Society (who are down some members) being forced to work together. It was totally expected, plot wise and as a series finale, it was a brilliant way to end the DC Animated Universe. The final shot in particular was a nice note to end on. 9/10

And thus concluded my time with the DC Animated Universe.

Justice League Unlimited - Episodes 31-35 Reviews

My penultimate blog on this show. This batch of episodes had dissent in the ranks, body swaps and grudge matches.

Episode 31: Flash And Substance 

Anyone wanted an episode dedicated to the Flash Museum? Well, you've got one with this episode. It was about to open and The Flash was pretty pleased with himself. His Rogues Gallery on the other hand were more determined to spoil the day. Batman and Orion had to protect The Flash from being killed with Orion realising the Scarlet Speedster had more depth than he believed. There's a nice subplot involving The Trickster as voiced by Mark Hamill. 8/10

Episode 32: Dead Reckoning 

I know this show preceded Justice League Dark but I do like that certain members have factored into this show. This episode had the Secret Society steal from a monastery that Deadman was occupying. Deadman enlisted Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman to help him. This episode delved into Deadman's relationship with Rama Kushna and there's a shock moment when Deadman used Batman to kill Devil Ray. 8/10

Episode 33: Patriot Act

A nod to the Seven Soldiers Of Victory, I have to admit this episode didn't really do much for me. I mean there's a pointed commentary from the general public being uninterested in the lesser known heroes and more scheming from General Eiling revealed. It's just that the episode itself didn't particularly excite me. 5/10

Episode 34: The Great Brain Robbery

Ooh, a brain swap episodes. Lex Luthor and The Flash. An absolutely brilliant idea that's brilliantly executed. Among the Secret Society, Lex had overthrown Gorilla Grodd as leader and was in danger of being overthrown himself while also being in a relationship with Tala. This also gave Michael Rosenblum the chance to voice Lex Luthor in animation and he had fun with the role. 7/10

Episode 35: Grudge Match 

I'm not really a big fan of these fight club style episodes but this one was actually pretty fun. You had Black Canary, Huntress, Vixen and Hawkgirl all dragged into this courtesy of Roulette and Sonar. It's also set in Bludhaven, so there's a very quick Nightwing cameo. Mostly the episode was a nice way of further exploring the frenemy dynamic between Black Canary and Huntress. 7/10

My last blog will cover Far From Home, Ancient History, Alive! and Destroyer.

My Review of It - Welcome To Derry: "The Black Spot"

 

Written by Jason Fuchs And Brad Caleb Kane 

Directed by Andy Muschietti 

Pennywise (to Ingrid): "Come to Papa!"

Now, that was one hell of a penultimate episode. I think this might be the best episode of the show so far and it certainly added extra pressure for the finale to stick the landing. Where do I start here?

Obviously with the opening flashback. A young Ingrid was desperate to impress her father by becoming the new Periwinkle. Then there was the horror of her father, Bob Gray being killed and taken over by Pennywise.

I'll admit that fifty four years might be a long time for someone to be reunited with their father but Ingrid's seemingly had such a shit life I can see why she was so desperate to believe Pennywise was her father. Madeleine Stowe delivered a rather heartbreaking performance as Ingrid realised too late that Pennywise wasn't her father.

Despite Ingrid's actions causing a lot of the mayhem this season, there was something tragic in what became of her after Pennywise deemed her no longer useful. As for her husband, that guy got exactly what he deserved and I cheered his comeuppance. Even Pennywise can do good, even if it's not his intention. 

As for the rest of the episode, I loved that everyone in The Black Spot tried to protect Hank from Bowers and his racist sidekicks. Unfortunately the place burned to the ground and Hank barely managed to escape, thanks to Charlotte's help. Oh and a lot of deaths too.

The most poignant death being Rich. The show struck gold with the child actors and the scenes between both Rich and Marge were sad. Likewise, Ronnie's reaction to losing her father again, Lilly's general despair and Will's final scene with Pennywise also did the groundwork for the finale.

- General Shaw didn't hold back telling Leroy his plan to control Pennywise. He's going to get everyone killed next week.

- Not as much of Hallorann in this episode but he had some great moments with the smaller screentime he had.

- Standout music: The Wilburn Brothers Trouble's Back In Town.

- Chronology: 1908 flashbacks for Ingrid, Bob and Pennywise as well as picking up from where the previous episode left off.

The Black Spot absolutely delivered as a penultimate episode. Pennywise didn't mess around with the sheer chaos he caused and the scenes between him, Ingrid and Will were the best. I can't wait to see how the finale pans out.

Rating: 8 out of 10 

My Review of The War Between The Land And The Sea: "Plastic Apocalypse"

 

Written by Pete McTighe

Directed by Dylan Holmes Williams 

Kate: "You have to stop!"

Salt: "We are cleaning up your mess."

Yeah, we're picking up from where the opening episode left off, things certainly went from one extreme to another. Barclay went from an ordinary bloke to the most important man on the planet and a source of contention for both UNIT and his ex-wife.

UNIT - specifically Kate took little time in grilling Barclay about a potential past alliance with the Sea Devils, which Barclay denied. It did turn out that Salt saw Barclay's small act of compassion over a dead Sea Devil in the opening episode. It's why she chose him to be Ambassador for humanity.

I think Barclay's compassion might be both his weakness and a blessing. In the latter category, he knew what to say to get Salt on side a few times. This included a scene where Salt nearly got Barclay to drink dirty water from the Thames, only for Barclay to openly condemn humanity's abuse of the waters.

As for Salt's demands - they were both understandable but also not likely to pan out. Were Homo Amphibia/Aqua really going to wait forty years for humanity to clean up the water? Salt didn't think so, which meant dredging all the mess from the oceans and dumping it back on land. Salt wasn't messing about with her demands.

The demand of humans no longer using modes of travel isn't something that Salt can expect humanity go along. In fact, it was something that was pushed during the Diplomacy H20 scenes. It also provoked a different facet to Salt as well. A facet that genuinely surprised me.

As for the last demand, Kate couldn't get Barclay to stay on script throughout the episode, so I expected him to do something reckless. I'm not sure agreeing to the next meeting underwater was the wisest decision there, Barclay.

- Salt momentarily turned male and was played by Joshua Sinclair-Evans. I wonder if this will happen again if she's really angry. Those scientists working on Salt's dead kids can't end well either.

- Barclay was born November 15th 1982. He's a year younger than Russell Tovey himself. 

- Trinity Wells (Lachele Carl) appeared in this episode and Albion were also referenced along with the Doctor. I'm also not keen on Kate and Ibrahim being a thing.

- Chronology: Exactly where the first episode left off.

Plastic Apocalypse was a bit better than the opening episode. It certainly had a great time with living up to its title and you can tell that money was well spent on these first two episodes so far. It's heavy handed on its messaging but I'm enjoying the show.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of The War Between The Land And The Sea: "Homo Aqua"

 

Written by Russell T. Davies

Directed by Dylan Holmes Williams 

Barclay (to Salt): "Okay."

With one simple word, an ordinary man just made himself the Ambassador of humanity. Well, he agreed to it and this opening episode had a lot of agreement to it. Who was the man in question?

He's a low-level UNIT employee named Barclay Pierre-Dupont (Russell Tovey). His job should be to order transport for UNIT but for some reason, he's ended up replacing a higher up and because of that, Barclay got thrown into a situation out of his depth.

The episode opened with the capture of a Sea Devil (or Homo Aqua). Barclay was assigned his own UNIT soldier - Sergeant Hana Chakri (Francesca Corney) and he had a very human reaction to when the Homo Aqua died. The death of this creature saw the rest of the species making themselves publicly known to the world.

Suddenly Barclay found himself caught in a world much bigger than himself. There's shades of Donna Noble within Barclay as the episode went on to emphasis just how ordinary a person he happened to be. At times, it's a bit too on the nose as was the clear environmental theme of the episode.

With the episode largely focused on Barclay as a reluctant Ambassador for humanity, what about the aquatic side of things? For them, we see a few different species but Homo Amphibia leader Salt (Gugu Mbatha-Raw). She popped up as a rather intimidating figure, uninterested in UNIT's attempts of peace until she caught Barclay's attention.

Speaking of UNIT, we saw more of General Austin Pierce (Colin McFarlane) than we did Kate Lethbridge-Stewart (Jemma Redgrave). The latter in particular didn't appear until towards the end of the episode and she didn't really do much. Likewise other UNIT regulars like Shirley Bingham (Ruth Madeley) and Colonel Ibrahim (Alexander Devrient) also did very little here too.

- Barclay has an ex wife named Barbara (Ann Akinjirin) and a daughter named Kirby (Cat Gannon). He's also met the Doctor.

- The Whoinverse Logo was nowhere to be found, BBC4 had a remixed version of The Sea Devils prior to this episode airing and title card only had Russell Tovey and Gugu Mbatha-Raw as regulars.

- Standout music: Lorne Balfe does some nice score work, particularly with Barclay's Theme.

- Chronology: 2025 London as well as overseas for the opening scene.

Homo Aqua isn't subtle in its messaging or in it's need to remind viewers that Barclay Pierre-Dupont was an ordinary man. It's still a very strong opening episode and Russell Tovey gave the strongest performance as well.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of Five Nights At Freddy's 2 (2025)

 

Written by Scott Cawthon

Directed by Emma Tammi

Michael: "Welcome back, Charlotte."

I'm not sure if this has been the year for horror sequels. Both M3GAN 2.0 and Black Phone 2 felt like misfires to me and I think I can add this one into that pile as well. Aside from the clear cliffhanger to set up a third movie, this felt rather dull to me.

The movie opened with William Afton (Matthew Lillard) killing another young boy and being witnessed by a girl named Charlotte Emily (Audrey Lynn Marie). Charlotte's father, Henry (Skeet Ulrich) would end up playing a role in later events.

Anyways, moving the story to twenty years beyond that, the three survivors from the first movie were trying to get on with their lives. In particular, Abby Schmidt (Piper Rubio) was happy to tell her classmates about the events of the first movie while also preparing for her science project.

Instead of having antagonistic classmates, Abby found herself at the ire of teacher Mr Berg (Wayne Knight). Berg's needlessly cruel to Abby and ended up paying for it when a newly restored Chica (Megan Fox) wanted to see what was in his head. It turned out to be nothing.

As for older brother, Mike (Josh Hutcherson). Well, this movie tried to explore the idea of him maybe dating William's daughter, Vanessa (Elizabeth Lail) but the trust between the two of them wasn't there. The presence of Vanessa's serial killer brother, Michael (Freddy Carter) didn't help matters either.

I have to say this movie did an incredibly poor job with setting Michael up as a villain as well as the return of Freddy (Kellen Goff) and company along with Abby being too easily manipulated by Chica. Everything about this film screamed a rush job with barely anything given proper time to breathe, story wise.

- Credit scenes include a bunch of delinquents finding William's corpse and Henry leaving a warning for Mike. Charlotte possessed Marionette.

- Jim Henson's Creature Shop provided the animatronics for this movie as they did with the first.

- The reveal about Henry at the end should definitely set up scenes for Skeet Ulrich and Matthew Lillard in the likely third movie.

- Chronology: 1982 for the opening scene and 2002 for the majority of the movie.

I wanted to like Five Nights At Freddy's 2 but I honestly found it very dull, repetitive and poorly handled with it's lore and new villains. This felt very rushed as a sequel and it definitely suffered for it too.

Rating: 5 out of 10 

My Review of Christmas With The Kranks (2004)

 

Written by Chris Columbus 

Directed by Joe Roth

Nora (to Luther): "We skip Christmas!"

If there's a Christmas to be had around a certain time period (1980s to 2000s), there's a likely chance that Chris Columbus might have had a hand in it. This one might be not be an instant classic but it's a modest enough offering.

Anyways you've got Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis as married couple Luther and Nora Krank. Their daughter Blair (Julie Gonzalo) joined the Peace Corps and for the first time in ever, the Kranks decided to abandon Christmas. I get the temptation at times but their decision had consequences.

It seemed that the Kranks lived in a neighborhood where Christmas was a big deal and when the neighbours found out that they were opting for a cruise instead, it didn't go down well at all. Especially when one of your neighbours was played by Dan Aykroyd. Vic Frohmeyer wasn't the kind of neighbour that would allow anyone to skip out on Christmas.

For a good chunk of the movie, the Kranks were driven mad by the neighbours to change their minds about going on their cruise. They eventually did but only because Blair was returning home with fiancé Enrique Decardenal (Rene Lavan) and the Kranks needed the neighbours back on side.

Funnily enough, getting the neighbours onside was a lot easier than expected. Even Vic's mischievous son, Spike (Erik Per Sullivan) was a great help as was Cheech Marin's police character. This was also during a minor plot with an escaped burglar trying to steal during the big Krank Christmas party.

- There's a nice plot where Luther gave the cruise to Walt (M. Emmet Walsh) and Bev Scheel (Elizabeth Franz). Luther nearly killed their cat during the movie.

- The movie was based on John Grisham's 2001 book, Skipping Christmas.

- Standout music: The Raveonettes The Christmas Song, Brenda Lee's Jingle Bell Rock and Dean Martin's White Christmas.

- Chronology: Christmas time in Illinois.

Christmas With The Kranks isn't a favourite of mine but it's still rather fun for a Christmas movie. Who would've thought that trying to sit out Christmas would be more stressful than actually getting heavily involved?

Rating: 7 out of 10