My Review of American Horror Story: 13 - The Prodigal Son

 

Written by Ned Martel And Charlie Carver And Brad Falchuk

Directed by Gillian Robespierre 

Mr. Nas (to Ben): "Now, are we going to do this nicely or is daddy going to have to give you a spanking?"

Personally, I'm disappointed that Ben didn't get a spanking in this episode and I don't apologise for that. All of a sudden, our mild mannered hospice caretaker developed a bratty sub side to him and all because his daddy turned out to be Satan of all things.

Yes, Ben is the son of Mr. Nas but as I suspected, he's not Devan Campbell from the events of Apocalypse. If he were, this would've been the place to have confirmed that. Ben basically had daddy drag him around the Apollyon and bind him to a chair without the bondage aspect of it all. 

I'm going to blunt here. Joey Pollari and Paul Anthony Kelly found their best scene partners this season in each other that it's almost a shame Ben and Nas are related. There was a time when these two would've played enemies who hate fucked each other. Sadly that's not this time. Oh, well.

Mr. Nas was pretty blatant about wanting Ben to join the family business. Now, this was where the episode lost me. Nas's big plan all along was to go back to Hell and let Ben take over the Earth. That seemed really dumb. Surely, Nas would want to rule both Hell and Earth and keep Ben under control. Going by the way this episode ended, I can't tell what Ben has chosen to do.

Ben conveniently appeared at the Academy during the end, offering himself to the witches who only just learned he existed. Is he going to be a Trojan horse and destroy the witches from the inside? I can't rule it out. Or will Ben actually rebel against Daddy Dearest and help them send Nas back to Hell and relinquish any claim to ruling Earth? Ben did talk about wanting to do good.

Am I terrible person for saying that anything Coven related was my least favourite aspect of this one? I didn't miss them in the last episode and while their screen time was essential, I kept wanting to go back to Ben and Mr. Nas. On the plus side, at least everyone found out about Mallory taking out Michael Langdon and reacted accordingly. Cordelia in particular handled the reveal a lot better than expected.

- I can't wait for Ben to find out that Constance is his half sister. I wonder how he'll take that bit of news.

- If you thought Ben's overuse of AI was bad, then some of Nas's choice in dialogue was a lot worse by comparison.

- Ben has shown no actual powers whatsoever for someone being earmarked to rule Earth. How come Michael did?

- I did slightly laugh at Coco's offering of Captain Morgan's to Papa Legba and Madison having to be the rational one after the big reveals this episode.

- Standout music: Fleurie's Sirens at the end of the episode.

- Chronology: From the previous episode left off. Also a 1939 Vatican flashback where Pope Pius XII learned about the Antichrist from the box.

The Prodigal Son might have somewhat disappointed with Mr. Nas's overall plan being rather idiotic and almost destined for failure but I had fun watching him and Ben get to know each other. Joey Pollari and Paul Anthony Kelly had some good moments together. I really hope these last three episodes can bring the whole thing to a satisfying conclusion.

Rating: 7 out of 10

My Review of American Horror Story: 13 - The Devil Is In The Details

 

Written by Ryan Murphy And Ned Martel And Charlie Carver

Directed by Adam Penn

Constance: "Why the fuck did you choose me?"

Mr Nas: "I always knew that question would come."

An episode of two halves with two characters linked by two other characters to boot. First, let's talk about Constance Langdon, shall we? She's been more than happy to serve Mr. Nas aka Satan himself, but it's now that she's starting to have doubts.

It's less to do with the moral implications of serving the Devil himself and more to do with the fact that Constance felt she was continuing a pattern of following influential men who she was smarter than. Constance believing that she's smarter than the Devil himself felt on brand enough. Even Mr. Nas could see the funny side in Constance's assertion.

Nas for the majority of this episode was played by both Fedor Steer and Paul Anthony Kelly. The latter got to wine and dine Constance whilst dressed as a matinee idol. Nas was more than happy to point out Constance's numerous misdeeds but also loved her for being a bad girl. Constance tried to seduce Nas but he turned her down. The reason being something that even I didn't see coming.

Constance being the daughter of Mr. Nas might be one of the biggest mindfucks in the show's history but it oddly worked here. Oh and that young man that Constance has been gaslighting and drugging? He's only her half brother. Yup, I'm talking about the bloke who recently discovered 616 branded above his backside a few episodes. 

Ben and the rather tedious Ashley went to a tattoo parlour to get some answers from a rather unhelpful artist. Ben got more flashbacks and realised he was raised by Satanists. He also went back to using AI to draw a rather obvious conclusion about Mr. Nas and we even got a slight glimpse of a darker side to Ben.

Ben attempted to kill the older Nas until the younger one revealed himself to the flustered hospice caretaker. It's a solid enough cliffhanger as Ben got to be in the same room with two very different versions of his real father. Ben's probably gonna need a lot of therapy if he gets out of this season alive.

- I knew Ashley wasn't to be trusted. In the least shocking reveal, she was working for Constance and Mr. Nas.

- Ben's nicknames expanded this week to Doogie Howser and Chicken by Mr. Phibes and Benny Brown Eyes by Mr. Nas.

- Taylor Dorium Nas or I'm Your Lord Satan. Ben literally needed his AI app to tell him that.

- Constance suggested Adelaide for the postal service and Tate for FOX News to Mr. Nas. Are we going to see either of them again before the season ends?

- Michael Langdon was finally mentioned and in the most deadbeat dad of ways by Mr. Nas. Constance's "grandson" was also a half brother. Bloody hell.

- Chronology: Set during the night for the whole episode.

The Devil Is In The Details provided a huge information dump for both Constance and Ben as characters. I think I like Constance being Nas's daughter more than I like Ben being his heir apparent. At the same time, I'm just happy the story moved along faster with this one and the next episode.

Rating: 7 out of 10

My Review of Pinocchio Unstrung (2026)

 

Written And Directed by  Rhys Frake-Waterfield

Pinocchio: "I don't like killing those people."

Having watched this movie, I'm officially caught up with this franchise. This was definitely a very, very gnarly depiction of the wooden boy who wanted to be a real one, no matter the lengths he'd go to.

Of course this Pinocchio (Jude-Evan Lloyd) was more of a prisoner and pawn of his maker, Geppetto (Richard Brake) and the latter had more of a preference for his human grandson, James (Cameron Bell). There's an instant bond between Pinocchio and James. It's a nice bond until it became very messy.

Pinocchio might want to be a real boy but he's got a lot to learn about humanity and his attempts of trying to help James went down a rather murderous route. James got involved in a car crash and Pinocchio horrifically ripped the guy to pieces.

For a large portion of this movie, Pinocchio was also being manipulated by the Talking Cricket (Robert Englund) at the behest of Wood Mother (Emma Tate). Both are pretty awful but actively encouraged Pinocchio's killing spree and consumption of organs. There's also a rather brutal scene that made me feel bad for a fricking dentist.

Anyways, I'll give this movie points because James had allies in both his friend Dudley (Jack Art Gray) and his teacher, Mia (Jessica Balmer) and Pinocchio had his own crisis of conscience. Pinocchio basically went from villain to antihero.

Geppetto of course took on the villain part, being a former student of a mad scientist and outright psychopath. There's a decent performance from Richard Brake but it's a rather rushed conclusion that seemed more interested in setting up a potential sequel than offering an ending to this one.

- There's a post credit scene where the Cricket tried to use vines off the tree to revive Geppetto.

- Robert Englund is mostly known for playing Freddy Krueger while Richard Brake has been a frequent collaborator for Rob Zombie. 

- Scott Chambers briefly appeared as Christopher Robin as did Peter DeSouza-Feighoney as Michael Darling.

- Chronology: Present day England.

Rushed ending to one side, Pinocchio Unstrung was decent enough. I do think getting the likes of Robert Englund and Richard Brake helped a bit with the film and the gore factor had a few moments that made me look away.

Rating: 6 out of 10 

My Review of Bambi: The Reckoning (2025)

 

Written by Rhys Warrington

Directed by Dan Allen

Michael: "You ever shot a deer?"

Tyler: "No. Have you?"

Michael: "Yeah, once."

I had actually forgotten about the Twisted Childhood Universe until I was scrolling and saw this movie. I already ventured into the gnarly takes on Winnie the Pooh and Peter Pan, what not an orphaned deer on a murderous rampage?

The movie started as you'd expect with Bambi losing his mother as expected. He's mostly alone until he mated with Faline and they had a fawn together. Then Faline got hit by a toxic waste truck and died and being whacked with a spade brought out Bambi's feral side.

Let's just say this deer isn't happy with a herbivore diet plan. In fact most of the characters in this film (not that they're particularly fleshed out) learned the hard way that Bambi had a lethal streak to him as well as a taste for human flesh.

Speaking of humans and because we needed a few as protagonists - there was mother and son duo, Xana (Roxanne McKee) and Benji (Tom Mulheron). They're likable enough as characters and just wanted to see Simon's (Alex Cooke) family, mostly his dementia suffering mother, Mary (Nicola Wright). It seemed like she knew more about Bambi than she was letting on.

The rest of the family included the likes of Andrew (Russell Geoffrey Banks), Harriet (Samira Mighty) and Harrison (Joseph Greenwood). The latter in particular was a dick to both Mary and Benji for no reason at all. Throw in some other horrible characters like Tyler (Big Tobz) and Eddie (Ewan Borthwick) and perhaps Bambi had a point after all.

Remember the fawn I mentioned earlier in the review? They're important because they were being mistreated by Tyler and Eddie and then that fawn was made an orphan by Michael (Adrian Relph). History repeated itself in quite a horrid way.

- Michael killed Bambi's mother and then Bambi. Mary killed Michael. Mary was the best human in this film. Mary also did the opening narration.

- Benji was convinced his parents were getting deported. I'm sure he meant divorced.

- There was some feral rabbits in this film but no characters from the previous three films.

- Chronology: Set during the course of a night. There are no day scenes in this movie whatsoever.

I found Bambi: The Reckoning to be okay enough. It's not particularly good or even bad. The acting's fine, the story moved at a fast enough pace but a lot of the scenes were hard to actually see because it was so poorly lit. The ending was top notch though. Best part of the film.

Rating: 6 out of 10 

My Review of The Raven (1963)

 

Written by Richard Matheson 

Directed by Roger Corman

Dr. Craven (to Dr. Bedlo): "Shut your beak! Quoth the raven, nevermore."

Last week, I had a look at the Vincent Price and Roger Corman team up of The Pit And The Pendulum and while I'm not reviewing their collaboration of Edgar Allen Poe adaptations in order, I will try to get through them all as best I can.

Vincent Price in this adaptation took on the role of magician Dr. Erasmus Craven. He's got a daughter named Estelle (Olive Sturgess) and he's mourning the loss of his second wife, Lenore (Hazel Court). Estelle on the other hand wasn't particularly sad that her stepmother wasn't around anymore.

There's also the titular Raven itself. Actually it's a peer named Dr. Adolphus Bedlo (Peter Lorre) and the raven made his presence known to Craven until the latter changed him back into a human. We also got to meet Bedlo's son, Rexford (Jack Nicholson) who seemed taken with Estelle but also had his moment of madness.

Because this movie needed a villain, who better than to get Boris Karloff as the fanatical Dr. Scarabus. Oh and Lenore wasn't dead at all. She just faked her death so she could help to contrive to get Craven into Scarabus's hands and just so the latter could take his powers.

That was Scarabus's big plan. He wanted Erasmus's powers and both Lenore and Bedlo came in handy. There's an impressive magical duel between the two of them and even a poor attempt from Lenore to switch sides when Scarabus was losing.

There's also a rather satisfying comeuppance for Bedlo. He overplayed his hand and ended up as a mute raven as punishment for his misdeeds. That was certainly a way to have Erasmus put a spin on some very popular lines from the infamous story.

- Peter Lorre did ad-lib a lot for this movie and there was tension between him and Jack Nicholson.

- Boris Karloff was in the 1935 version of this movie but that had a different story.

- Boris Karloff wasn't a fan of the cape he had to wear or the scenes where him and Vincent Price were in the air.

- Chronology: It's 1506 in a dreary December.

The Raven (1963) had some strong performances from Price, Lorre and Karloff. It's a good take on the popular Edgar Allen Poe story. It's probably one of the best takes if I'm being honest.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of Octopussy (1983)

 

Written by George MacDonald Fraser And Richard Maibaum And Michael G. Wilson

Directed by John Glen

Vijay: "Is he still there?"

Q: "You must be joking! 007 on an island populated exclusively by women? We won't see him till dawn!"

This film might have the funniest/rudest title for a James Bond movie. It's titular character as played by Maud Adams certainly wasn't short changed in this film either. She's a bit more than a love interest for Roger Moore's spy. 

She's a jewel smuggler and a wealthy businesswoman to boot and maybe the closest to an equal that Moore's version of Bond might have in this movie. There's good chemistry between the two of them as their dynamic was both antagonistic and flirtatious in equation. Even the ending somewhat subverted the usual ending for a Bond film.

Octopussy also ran an Octopus cult (no, seriously she did) and was working with the actual villain of the piece - Kamal Khan (Louis Jourdan). Khan was an exiled Afghan prince and he wasn't best pleased with James's refusal to die. Get in line, Khan.

As a villain, he's mostly interesting enough and had no problem getting Magda (Kristina Wayborn) to seduce Bond. Magda's not as interesting a character as Octopussy. She's more of a generic character in the mix of more interesting ones.

Throw in an alliance with Khan and rogue Soviet General Orlov (Steven Berkoff) and there's a plot to destabilise NATO for both James and Octopussy to stop them. There's a bit with a Fabergé egg, an ally in Vijay (Vijay Amritraj) and James avenging the death of 009 (Andy Bradford) and there's plenty going on here.

- Maud Adams previously played Andrea Anderson in The Man With The Golden Gun. She's better served here.

- This was the final role for Paul Hardwick who played a Soviet chairman. Robert Brown is now playing M.

- Standout music: Rita Coolidge's All Time High.

- Chronology: East Berlin, Udaipur and both East and West Germany.

Octopussy was a better movie than expected and they certainly had fun with that title choice. A good dynamic between Roger Moore and Maud Adams certainly helped things.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of Carrie - Season 1 (Amazon Prime Series, 2026)

 

Written by Mike Flanagan And Elizabeth Padden And Justina Ireland And Dani Parker And Elan Gale And Alexandra Magistro And Rebecca Klingel And Jamie Flanagan

Directed by Mike Flanagan And Kate Siegel And Axelle Carolyn And Kyra Sedgwick And Hiromi Katama 

Carrie: "All I ever wanted was to go to school."

Am I terrible Stephen King fan for saying that I wasn't chomping at the bit for another adaptation of this particular book? Am I a terrible Mike Flanagan fan for wanting him to do something original instead? I don't think I am tbh. This book has been adapted enough times and Flanagan definitely needs to do something original.

Putting those things to one side, I'm fortunately relieved to say that this eight part series for Amazon Prime was mostly a success. This was a Carrie White (Summer H. Howell) for the 2020s and it's a modern take that managed to mostly work for the titular character and the people drawn inyo her world.

The lynchpin of any adaptation would be the relationship between Carrie and her fanatical mother, Margaret (Samantha Sloyan). Again, it mostly worked because Margaret's extremities in regards to her daughter are still here but softened/modernised for a current audience. This Margaret will use social media to tackle Carrie's bullies and mobilise support but this was also a Margaret who cannot handle Carrie questioning the world around and showed genuine fear of her daughter's abilities.

The interesting but questionable change was Margaret having latent powers of her own. It's touched upon briefly in flashbacks and presented itself during a crucial moment in the finale. It also put Margaret in the firing line of a mystery cult led by the equally mysterious Adelaide (Kate Siegel). I'm not happy with how Margaret's story concluded in this take of the source material.

Having a cult of people with similar abilities to Carrie felt like an obvious way to prolong this story and push it to getting a potential second season. There's a lot of focus on a character named Emaline (Thalia Dudek), who befriended Carrie, had similar abilities to Carrie and also took away some of Carrie's agency during the very moment that should've been Carrie's and Carrie's alone.

Yes, I'm talking about the prom. I didn't like Emaline's involvement in that crucial moment, though it didn't negate the fact that Carrie still was mostly responsible for the destruction at hand. It's an okay depiction but most of the movies handled the prom scenes better. This show fleshed certain characters out better than any movie.

In particular, this show just gave audiences the best version of superbitch Chris Hargensen (Alison Thornton). An absolutely layered but utterly hateful version of the high school bully. There's a moment where it looked like Chris and Carrie could've been friends and it's cruelly decimated. Chris's family life with two separated parents - John (Michael Trucco) and Madison (Heather Graham), the latter's new boyfriend, Kent Kirby (Gil Bellows) and his daughter, Brooklyn (Rowan Danielle) was dysfunctional along with her relationship with bad boy, Billy Nolan (Arthur Conti). Outside of Carrie and Margaret, Chris was the most fleshed out character here.

Less fleshed out were the likes of Sue Snell (Siena Agudong), Tommy Ross (Joel Oulette) and Tina Blake (Josie Totah) but they do get a few interesting bits. The actual high school staff were a mixed bag of ineffective, incompetent and genuinely helpful. With characters like Principal Henry Grayle (Matthew Lillard), Rita Desjardin (Amber Midthunder), Seth Piest (Rahul Kohli) and Peter Morton (Tim Bagley), it's not hard to see why Carrie would eventually be tipped over the edge.

- The episode titles are First Period, Foreign Language, Social Studies, Dramatic Arts, Physical Education, Home Economics, Romantic Literature and AP Physics.

- Other noteworthy people to appear in the show included Katee Sackhoff, Tahmoh Penikett, Ruth Codd, Delainey Hayles as well as Bryan Fuller and Don Mancini.

- CarrieRed might have been set up to make fun of Carrie but it also exposed Seth Piest having sexual relationships with students, leading to his death in the sixth episode.

- I did like how the credit scenes kept getting redder with each episode.

- Standout music: The Newton Brothers provided the score for the show.

- Chronology: Mostly set in Thomas Ewen Consolidated High School, Maine. 

I had my reservations about this version of Carrie and I can't say that I loved everything that Mike Flanagan did with the material but I liked it a lot than I expected to and that's a relief. There's some genuine standout performances from Summer H. Howell, Samantha Sloyan and Alison Thornton but no one puts a foot wrong.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of Carry On Screaming! (1966)

 

Written by Talbot Rothwell

Directed by Gerald Thomas

Orlando: "What time is it?"

Valeria: "Just past December."

Orlando: "I told you not to wake me up 'til the beginning of March!"

I have a bit of a thing for the Carry On movies. They're a bit outdated but a guilty pleasure nonetheless. Seeing as it's spooky season, of course I had to watch this one.

The film started with a couple named Albert (Jim Dale) and Doris (Angela Douglas). They're in the woods about to get more acquainted and then Doris ended up getting snatched by a monster named Oddball (Tom Clegg). Doris wouldn't be the only one getting taken by this creature.

In fact there's a spate of disappearances and connected to them were the seductive Valeria (Fenella Fielding) and her mad scientist brother, Dr. Orlando Watt (Kenneth Williams). Oh and their servant, Sockett (Bernard Bresslaw) had no problem aiding the demented siblings.

The siblings were kidnapping young women and turning them into mannequins. Of course, they also had to contend with the likes of Detective Constable Slobotham (Peter Butterworth) and more specifically, Detective Sergeant Sidney Bung (Harry H. Corbett).

The latter in particular was a henpecked husband to Emily (Joan Sims) and was easily led and seduced by Valeria. I'd argue almost too easily seduced, which did lead to Bung being temporarily turned into a hairy monster. It didn't last that long as the movie progressed. 

There's a good team between Bung and Albert in order to try and save their respective loves from being mannequins forever. One was more successful than the other, Orlando embraced his villainy before his comeuppance and Valeria herself had a change of living arrangements that I'm sure she'd take some getting used to.

- Sidney James had played Detective Bung in previous movies but the role was recast here as he wasn't available.

- Jon Pertwee had the role of Dr. Fettle in this film. 

- Gerald Thomas had a voice cameo in this film as Oddball Junior.

- Orlando and Valeria were originally meant to be father and daughter instead of brother and sister.

- Standout music: Ray Pilgrim performed the theme tune, Carry On Screaming.

- Chronology: Set in Edwardian era, in Hocombe Woods.

Carry On Screaming! is pretty much what you'd expect a horror themed adventure would be from this particular comedy series. It's enjoyable enough with the expected innuendos and some good special effects and prosthetics for some of the monstrous looks on display.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of The Pit And The Pendulum (1961)

 

Written by Richard Matheson 

Directed by Roger Corman

Don Nicholas Medina: "I will tell you where you are. You are about to enter hell, Bartholomew. Hell! The Netherworld. The infernal region. The abode of the damned. The place of torment. Pandemonium. "Abbadon, "Tophet", "Gehenna". "Naraka", the pit! And the pendulum."

I fancied a bit of Edgar Allen Poe and one of the best adaptations of his work was this underrated film from 1961 starring the iconic Vincent Price.

In this film, Price took on the role of Nicholas Medina, who lived in a nice castle but was also grieving the loss of his wife, Elizabeth (Barbara Steel). Elizabeth died of fright but her Englishman brother, Francis Barnard (John Kerr) had doubts.

From the moment he appeared on screen, Francis served as a foil to Nicholas. He didn't believe the circumstances behind his sister's death and wasn't convinced when Doctor Leon (Antony Carbone) tried to convince him otherwise.

On top of that, it also seemed like Nicholas had a traumatic past involving his father, Sebastian (Vincent Price). In the present day, Nicholas also appeared to be losing his sanity, something that wasn't helped by the fact that Elizabeth was alive and in cahoots with Doctor Leone.

Elizabeth and Leone being lovers with a long game plot to see Nicholas's fortune went completely wrong with Nicholas thinking he was his father and mistaking Elizabeth and Leone for his mother and uncle. Then Francis got to experience the actual title of the film itself.

He got trapped in a pit with a pendulum coming close to slicing him in half had Nicholas's sister, Catherine (Luana Anders) and servant Maximilian (Patrick Westwood). The ending for Nicholas was tragic but Elizabeth's final fate was so much worse.

- The success of this film would have Roger Corman direct several Edgar Allen Poe adaptations, including The Raven (1963).

- The following Poe quote "...the agony of my soul found vent in one loud, long, and final scream of despair."  That was a part of the credits for the film.

- For TV rights, an opening scene with Catherine Medina was filmed where she was committed to an asylum and retold the events.

- Chronology: 1547 Spain with flashbacks to Nicholas's childhood.

The Pit And The Pendulum (1961) would definitely be one of the best adaptations of an Edgar Allen Poe story to date. It's beautifully shot, the performances are on point and that ending was such a grim way to conclude it.

Rating: 8 out of 10