My Review of The Last Kiss (2026)

 

Written by Yoko Okumura And Krystal Houghton Ziv And Alon Ziv

Directed by Yoko Okumura 

Laurel: "Whenever I kiss people, I think I can see how they're gonna die."

I genuinely think I've seen this movie before. Do you ever get that feeling when watching a movie? It's a new release but the story felt so familiar. Oh well, here we go.

Aimed for a younger audience than moi, this film focused on high school student Laurel Hansen (Mckenna Grace). She hasn't had her first kiss, unlike her best friend, Poppy (Arkira Chantaratananond) and that's the least of her problems in this film.

Laurel's problems began with a field trip that resulted in a near fatal disaster for everyone. Laurel ended up getting her first kiss with Leo. Except Leo got impaled and that would open a big fan of worms for Laurel. Turns out there's a downside to kissing for Laurel.

The downside being that anyone Laurel happened to kiss, she saw how they would die. That somewhat detailed things between her and main love interest, Evan Gellar (Jaden Michael). She kept seeing how he would die and it involved a serial killer. On the plus side, Poppy had a peaceful future death and actually believed Laurel's story until the latter suspected Poppy's dad, Randy (Ash Lee) of being the killer. It's not him by the way.

It's also not Leo's brother, Noah but it was easy to see why Laurel suspected him. Noah's turn to religion seemed a bit off and he would have a motive, considering Leo's violent death. However he turned out to be innocent.

The actual killer was Poppy's boyfriend, Tyler McKinley (Riley Davis). His mother was committed and his hopes for getting out of town were gone. His motives made sense and he nearly killed more people until Laurel stopped him and her kissing visions. It's a pretty neatly wrapped up conclusion to proceedings.

- This was a digital release from last week. It was barely promoted.

- Tyler wore a white mask when he was carrying out his kills.

- Standout music: Dark Dark Dark's Daydreaming.

- Chronology: Present day with a year time jump at East Hart High School.

The Last Kiss (2026) isn't going to be on anyone's favourite horror lists for this year or probably on many least favourite lists. It's a serviceable enough teen slasher with a pleasant performance from Mckenna Grace.

Rating: 6 out of 10 

My Review of The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

 

Written by Christopher Wood And Richard Maibaum

Directed by Lewis Gilbert 

Sir Frederick Gray, Minister of Defence: "Bond! What do you think you're doing?"

James Bond: "Keeping the British end up, sir."

I'm getting into the swing of the Roger Moore era of James Bond and this was definitely an interesting take as it's probably the least book faithful of the Bond movies. It's almost a different film in itself.

The movie started with British and Soviet ballistic submarines suddenly vanish and there's a nice ski chase with Bond being pursued by the likes of Sergei Barsov (Michael Billington). He's also the lover of Anya Amasova (Barbara Bach).

She's on the side of the Soviets and an agent named XXX. She's also more than capable of giving James a run for his money and there's some undeniably strong sexual chemistry between the pair. I mean their chemistry's so good, it led to a truly funny final line in the movie.

Of course when James and Anya weren't flirting and sparring with one another, there was also the villain of the piece. Karl Stromberg (Curtis Jurgens) was a megalomaniac who wanted to cause World War III and destroy the world. He's definitely got the boo hiss baddie vibe and he's given a suitable death to boot.

However, it's not Stromberg who stood out the most. This was the movie that debuted Jaws (Richard Kiel). It's quite a movie when the henchman outshone the actual villain itself but looks at Jaws. He's a formidable foe that I enjoyed immensely and I'm glad that he survived this film.

- There's a solid performance from Caroline Munro as Stromberg's pilot and would be assassin, Naomi. 

- I did love the car that James and Anya could function underwater. That was a cool scene.

- Standout music: Carly Simon's Nobody Does It Better.

- Chronology: Set in Austria as well as Sardinia.

The Spy Who Loved Me might be the horniest film in the James Bond series but it's also a lot of fun and it debuted Jaws himself. It's hard not to have a good time with this one.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of Lanterns: "Bad Optics"

 

Written by Justin-Britt Gibson And Damon Lindelof

Directed by Stephen Williams 

John (re Hal): "Of course you wrote your own fucking eulogy."

After five episodes that were mostly in 2016 Rushville, it's nice that we're in 2026 just so recent events can be referenced and the main issue from the first episode can be addressed.

Yes, I'm talking about the death of Hal Jordan. Even now, I'm still not convinced he's actually dead. Yes, we saw a body. Yes, we hard that minimalist funeral but something just seems off about the whole thing. 

I can see why Hal Jordan fans might not like a lot of what this episode did. The debacle with the Manhunters had him serve prison time and become a much hated figure publicly. Not that John's viewed in a much positive light either.

As the man who rejected the ring, he became an architect and ran a business with Marcus trying to install panic rooms. He also wanted an apology from Hal and was the last to see Hal before the latter was murdered. Did John kill Hal? Obviously not. 

John got some great scenes with both Kerry and an older Noah (Shea Prichard). John even got to meet both Guy Gardner (Nathan Fillion) and Carol Ferris (Amie MacKenzie). It's nice that the latter does exist in the DCU but it also looks like this version never became Star Sapphire, which is a bit disappointing.

As for Hal, we've got two episodes left to either solve his murder if he's actually dead or two episodes to explain why he faked his death. I'm still rooting for Hal to actually be alive and yes, I think it's likely that he broke Sinestro out of prison. 

- I had forgotten about Hal's pet plant, Earl until John had to feed it. Hal and Carol were estranged.

- Guy's ring is his own. He stole Hal's from Oa, even risking being sent to the Phantom Zone. He's also an athletic director (gym teacher) and set up his own beacon in Rushville.

- Maggie the waitress wanted reparations from John, Kerry and Billy separated, she got involved with Hal and Noah has political aspirations. John was also funding Aaron's album.

- Events from both The Suicide Squad (2021) and Superman (2025) were mentioned in this episode. Batman was also referenced.

- Standout music: Dan Auerbach's Heartbroken, In Disrepair.

- Chronology: 2026 Rushville for most of the episode.

Bad Optics was a scathing look into the man formerly known as Hal Jordan with John and Guy getting an interesting first meeting. I hope these next two episodes stick the landing regardless of whether Hal's alive or dead.

Rating: 8 out of 10 

Doctor Who - Tender Times Are A Coming!

I joke but yes, a few months ago upon this year's Christmas special of Doctor Who getting cancelled this news has resurfaced.

Officially announced a few days ago, any production company can shoot their shot and pitch ideas on how to revitalise the show for a modern audience. While there are no specifics on casting for the 16th Doctor or even episode counts, there's a desire to try to get the show back in production by 2028/2029 as well as a possibility of it continuing to film in Cardiff. With any luck, this hopefully will see a positive change for the show moving forward. I'll post more concrete news as it presents itself.

While the main show itself might off air, the multimedia event saga also known as Circuit Breaker has had Jo Martin's Fugitive Doctor rather busy and has been single handledly keeping the Doctor Who social pages mostly alive. Better than that, this event has brought about the much welcomed return of Freema Agyeman's Martha Jones. You can read the Fugitive Doctor and Martha's reunion in the books The Kaleidoscope by Jo Martin and the short story The Doctor And The Three Witches in Time Lord Fairy Tales.

Last but not least, it's been over nine months since BBC1 released spinoff series, The War Between The Land And The Sea. According to Russell Tovey, who played Barclay Pierre-Dupont in the show, Disney+ will supposedly release it in 2027. The latter themselves have yet to comment on this. Personally, I'm not holding my breath and I suspect anyone outside the UK/Ireland who has wanted to see this show already did through other means.

I'll keep posting further updates on the Whoinverse when they become available.

My Review of Tony (2026)

 

Written by Matt Johnson And Matthew Miller And Todd Bartels And Lou Howe

Directed by Matt Johnson 

Tony: "You know I can cook too."

Okay, I've watched enough horror, spies and axe murderers this week, so I thought I'd opt for something different. You know, a biopic on a recently deceased chef with a promising actor from an Oscar nominated movie in the lead role.

Yup, I'm talking about this take on the celebrated Anthony "Tony" Bourdain with Dominic Sessa in the lead role. This film would cover a small portion into Bourdain's life. Think of it as an origin story of sorts.

The portion being Bordain wanting to be a writer and applying to a writing fellowship in New York City. This was something he had no problem using in trying to impress a girl named Nancy (Emilia Jones) with mixed results. His own parents on the other hand - Pierre (Rich Sommer) and Gladys (Dagmara Domińczyk) were a bit trickier to get around.

Anyways, Tony didn't get the fellowship, so he got blind drunk, got mugged and conveniently ended up in Provincetown where he "forgot" that Nancy also happened to be. Then he ended up in the 1970s version of The Bear while figuring his shit out and hooking up with Nancy. 

The movie did liven up a bit with characters like Chef José Vatel (Antonio Banderas) and restaurant workers such as Sal (Leo Woodall), Stavros (Stavros Halkias) and Mary (Monica Raymund). As characters, they're a mixed bag but they certainly do humble and challenge Bourdain within the film itself.

Things did move along as Anthony had a thing with Nancy that was built on lies while his writing aspirations also didn't waver. The end scene really did feel like it should've been the beginning of a more detailed look into the man's life.

- Originally this did start out as a Black List script before it was pitched to Matt Johnson.

- There's a cameo appearance from Eric Rupert, who appeared at the end.

- Standout music: Eric Burdon and War's Magic Mountain.

- Chronology: 1975 and 1979 in New York and Provincetown.

Tony made for an undercooked biopic on the late Anthony Bourdain. Dominic Sessa did give a commendable lead performance and there's fine support but not enough to make this risible.

Rating: 6 out of 10 

My Review of The Man With The Golden Gun (1974)

 

Written by Richard Maibaum And Tom Mankiewicz

Directed by Guy Hamilton 

James Bond: "I admit killing you would be a pleasure."

Francisco Scaramanga: "Then you should have done that when you first saw me. But then, of course, the English don't consider it sporting to kill in cold blood, do they?"

James Bond: "Don't count on that."

After the rather disappointing Live And Let Die (1973), I'm pleased to say that Roger Moore's second outing as James Bond was far more enjoyable. The presence of a certain also helping the matter.

Let's talk about the title villain, shall we? Whoever decided to cast horror icon Christopher Lee as assassin Francisco Scaramanga deserves a raise. He's utterly brilliant in this role as the three nipple baddie with a golden gun and bullets to boot.

He played off Roger Moore's Bond brilliant, proving to be quite the credible threat to 007. His use of subterfuge almost worked on Bond until it didn't. I even felt a little bad when he was defeated. I would've liked him as a returning threat to James.

Then there was Scaramanga's diminutive manservant, Nick Nack (Hervé Villechaize). He's another standout character and in spite of his stature, he certainly knew how to keep James on his toes. Once again, I even felt bad for him when he was outsmarted by James at the end of the film.

As for the love interests in the film - did James really have a serious relationship with Mary Goodnight (Britt Ekland)? It was certainly an improvement on what was seen with him and Solitaire from the previous movie. There was some genuine sparks between the two of them.

I couldn't end this review without mentioning the most incredible character that James spent time with in this film. I'm talking about Louisiana sheriff J.W. Pepper (Clifton James). Talk about a fun character to have while James was trying to rescue Goodnight and stop Scaramanga's whole plan.

- Maud Adams appeared as Andrea Anders, the girlfriend of Scaramanga. James had no problem threatening her to get to him.

- Moneypenny seemed a bit cooler with James than she did in previous films.

- Standout music: John Barry's The Man With The Golden Gun.

- Chronology: Largely set in Thailand as well as scenes in London, Beirut and Macau.

The Man With The Golden Gun was definitely a marked improvement for Roger Moore's second outing as James Bond. Throw in some great support from Christopher Lee and Britt Ekland and this one's a winner.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of Jaws: The Revenge (1987)

 

Written by Michael de Guzman

Directed by Joseph Sargent 

Michael: "Dad died of a heart attack!"

Ellen: "No. He died from fear. The fear of it killed him."

Okay and I thought the worst sequel in 1987 was Superman IV: The Quest For Peace. I guess I was wrong, huh? Yup, this one really stank out the waters, huh?

A part of me has to wonder why these sequels insisted on continuing with the Brody family when it would've made more sense for each sequel to have featured different groups of people and in different locations.

Off screen, the hero of the first movie Martin Brody died, leaving his wife, Ellen (Lorraine Gary). If she wasn't a fan of the water beforehand, Martin's death along with youngest son, Sean (Mitchell Anderson) being killed early in the movie didn't improve her mood.

Older son, Michael (Lance Guest) took the lead once again and this time he had a wife named Carla (Karen Young) and daughter named Thea (Judith Barsi) to provide for. It turned out that Michael's previous shark encounters have done little to deter him from the waters. Even his family couldn't get him out of it.

There's conflict between Michael and Ellen over the latter believing the family was essentially cursed and also her budding romance with the rather valued, Hoagie (Michael Caine). I was actually shocked to see Caine in this movie.

Anyways, there's actually a good supporting performance from Mario Van Peebles as Michael's co-worker, Jake. He's actually a good friend/foil to Michael and even managed to survive nearly being mauled to death by the shark in question.

The third act was probably the strongest part but also felt like it was going through the motions with both Michael and Ellen having to resolve their issues and survive being shark food. Of course they made it out of this one alive.

- There's some archive footage of Roy Scheider from the first movie used in this film.

- Jake died in the original cut but kept alive in the revised ending.

- Standout music: Stacy Lattislaw's Nail To The Wall.

- Chronology: Set during the Christmas and New Year's period on Amity Island and the Bahamas.

Jaws: The Revenge might be one of the most boring sequels to any franchise going. Dull, lifeless and incredibly dreary from start to finish. Watch it if you're a completing, otherwise don't bother.

Rating: 4 out of 10 

My Review of Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story (Netflix Series, 2026)

 

Written by Ian Brennan

Directed by Max Winkler And Sarah Adina Smith

Lizzie (to Bridget): "Just let me have the first whack."

In the previous three seasons of Monster/s, we've seen audiences being wholly divided on the handling of Jeffrey Dahmer, Lyle and Erik Menendez and Ed Gein. It was definitely time to tackle an infamous American female killer. Funny how two of them factor into this fourth season with mixed results.

Over the last few months, I've watched some other depictions of Lizzie Borden in preparation for this show. Ella Beatty isn't a stranger to the world of Ryan Murphy as she's previously appeared in Feud: Capote Vs. The Swans and acquitted herself well there. She's finely cast here as Lizzie Borden herself but if I'm being honest, she's slightly upstaged by Vicky Krieps's constant hair changing Irish maid, Bridget Sullivan.

Krieps might be the ultimate standout of this season as a whole. As Bridget, there's the impact of her relationship with Lizzie, which did of course go down the Sapphic route between the two of them. She's also instrumental in the brutal deaths of Lizzie's father Andrew (Charlie Hunnam) and stepmother Abby Borden (Rebecca Hall). Oftentimes, I felt like I knew Bridget more than I knew Lizzie.

On top of that, Krieps also spent half the season playing the sadistic and bloodthirsty Countess Elizabeth Bathory. She's just as effective in that role as she was as Bridget. The more I think of it, the more it's clear that Krieps was the standout performance of the whole season.

While the Elizabeth Bathory plot managed to tie into Lizzie Borden's story better than expected, I'll admit the use of Aileen Wuornos was more of a mixed bag. Sarah Paulson gave the sort of performance that was solid work but some of the dialogue that tried to draw parallels between Aileen and Lizzie was very clunky at times. It didn't quite land as it should've done.

Getting back to Family Borden. Yup, they were a lot. Abby behaved like the typical evil stepmother while Andrew barely tolerated his daughters and second wife. Emma Borden (Billie Lourd) didn't care for Lizzie until the script needed her to and abandoned her when the script also required her to do so.

Then there's estranged uncle John Morse (Joey Pollari) himself. He's a guy who desperately wanted money he felt he was owed and tried and failed to be a foil to both Andrew and Lizzie at different points. There's a brief encounter with Abby that added little value to proceedings before he slipped out of the picture as quickly as he entered.

Another character who was a mixed bag was stage actress Nance O'Neil (Jessica Barden). I found the character grating to begin with but she won me over with the way she trained Lizzie for that trial. One of the campest performances in the entire season.

Now this had me thinking as well. The first three seasons were dead serious but tonally, it felt like this season was riffing the likes of Killing Eve and Fleabag. The season tried to say a lot about female rage and even ended on voting rights for women. It's handling of such topics aren't bad but definitely could've been tackled a little better.

- Episode titles are Bloodbath, Strong Kitty, Whack Job!, R.I.P. (Rest In Pestilence) Abby Borden, 41, Bed And Breakfast, The Trial Of The Century and Carnival.

- Andrew named all of his axes after women while John named his knives after men. John being a suspect was briefly referenced in the last episode.

- Other noteworthy performances were from Jessica Lee, Ari Graynor and Linda Reiter.

- Cherries were referenced a lot with the likes of Lizzie, Bridget, Abby and John all being fond of them. Both the fruit and the trees.

- Standout music: The Runaways Cherry Bomb, Bronski Beat's Smalltown Boy and Natalie Merchant's Carnival.

- Chronology: 1892 to 1911 in Falls River, Massachusetts as well as Montana. There was also 1500/1600s Hungary for Elizabeth Bathory and 1980s/1990s/2000s for Aileen Wuornos.

I think Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story was definitely an improvement on the previous season but not as strong as the first two seasons. It had things to say about female rage, prisons, misogyny and so on but the messages don't quite land the way they should. Ella Beatty was a good casting choice for Lizzie Borden but it's Vicky Krieps's dual roles of Bridget Sullivan and Elizabeth Bathory that was the standout of this season.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of Live And Let Die (1973)

 

Written by Tom Mankiewicz

Directed by Guy Hamilton

Solitaire: "Where's Kananga?"

James Bond: "He always did have an inflated opinion of himself."

It's a new era of James Bond. After six movies of Sean Connery (with one still on the horizon) and one adventure with George Lazenby, I'm on to the Roger Moore era of this franchise. This was a mixed bag of a start.

There's no doubt that Roger Moore would go on to be seen as successful as his predecessor but I'm not so sure if elements of this film have aged too well. It's certainly stereotyping in a way.

There's a slew of agents being killed off, which made up the first few minutes of this film. In different locations too. Take in the small Caribbean nation of San Monique and James had a dictator named Dr. Kananga/Mr Big (Yaphet Kotto). He's also a drug lord and not above sacrifices to boot.

One of the most memorable members of Kananga's posse was his psychic Solitaire (Jane Seymour). She can see things when the plot called for it and it took very little for her to seduce and betray James when the plot suited it. Kananga was also rather possessive of her and didn't take Kindly to the idea of her and Bond together. Kananga only tried and failed to kill both of them.

As a villain, there's a good performance from Yaphet Kotto and he's a physically imposing threat to Roger Moore's Bond. I just wish the writing for him was a lot more nuanced than it actually was. It's very stereotypical and not always in a good way.

Keeping with the unfortunate stereotyping - what was up with junior CIA agent, Rosie Carver? Despite a very charismatic performance from Gloria Hendry, she might be one of the worst written Bond girls I've seen so far and she's given a rather undignified death to boot.

- The son of Quarrel appeared in this film as did Moneypenny, Felix and M at different points. 

- Kananga's henchman was actually Baron Samedi (Geoffrey Holder) who also popped up to cause problems for James.

- Standout music: Paul McCartney Live And Let Die.

- Chronology: Scenes in both New York and the Carribean for this one.

Live And Let Die makes for a middle of the road debut for Roger Moore's James Bond with some of the film really feeling stereotypical and dates in parts. I wanted to like this one a lot more than I actually did. A tad disappointing.

Rating: 6 out of 10

My Review of Jaws 3-D (1983)

 

Written by Richard Matheson And Carl Gottlieb And Guerdon Trueblood

Directed by Joe Alves

Mike: "White sharks are dangerous. I know 'em. My father, my brother, myself. They're murderers."

It's usually around this time in a horror, there's an attempt to switch up the leading protagonist. This film ditched Martin Brody (kind of) and instead moved the focus on to his oldest son, Michael (Dennis Quaid).

Michael's older than we last seen him and he's got a girlfriend named Kathryn "Kay" Morgan (Bess Armstrong). Both of them are working at SeaWorld Orlando and once again, the great white shark would present itself as a major problem.

This time around you've got some cute dolphins also chucked into the mix but the mama shark who's not happy with the treatment of her baby was the star attraction. Those human really don't learn a damn thing, huh?

It's a sprawling and messy third outing with Michael and Kay as the main heroes of the piece. There's also the return of Sean (John Putch) and his girlfriend, Kelly Ann Bukowski (Lea Thompson), making up a younger group of protagonists compared to the first movie.

There's a few decent kills throughout the film, particularly with characters like Overman (Harry Grant) and FitzRoyce (Simon MacCorkindale). Once again, the shark got a rather explosive ending, finishing this film on a bloody note.

- The studio forced the inclusion of both Mike and Sean, which the writer thought was dumb. 

- I have to laugh at Roy Scheider making himself unavailable to be a part of this movie. He made the right call there.

- This was in an early cycle of 1980s movie to use 3D technology.

- Chronology: A few years since the events of the second movie and set in Orlando.

Jaws 3-D isn't a good movie. It's pretty trashy and most of the cast do look like they'd rather be anywhere else. There's a few entertaining moments but not many to save it.

Rating: 5 out of 10 

My Review of Diamonds Are Forever (1971)

 

Written by Richard Maibaum And Tom Mankiewicz

Directed by Guy Hamilton 

Blofeld: "Right idea, Mr. Bond..."

James Bond: "...But wrong pussy."

After a taste of a different Bond, we're back to Sean Connery for his penultimate take in the role and it's a rather vengeful version of the character.

Already I love the fact that the events of On Her Majesty's Secret Service formed the spine of this film. Tracy's death did a number on James and he was determined to make Blofeld (Charles Gray) pay for it. 

Of course given the title of this movie, diamonds were also a big thing here. There's a mission that involved Bond impersonating a diamond smuggler to infiltrate a smuggling ring. Blofeld also wanted diamond to build a space based laser weapon.

There's a genuinely funny in the film where Bond managed to convince others that he himself had killed James Bond. It's one of the best moments. There's also a plot involving Blofeld lookalikes in which James killed one of them. That was also particularly daft to watch.

Blofeld in these movies has increasingly become a great thorn in James's side and their confrontation here had a nice sense of finality. Was this genuinely the end for Blofeld? It certainly appeared to be. As a villain he had a good run of film and multiple actors playing him. This was probably the best time to take the character out of the equation.

As for the Bond girls, there's diamond smuggler Tiffany Case (Jill St. John) and Plenty O'Toole (Lana Wood). The latter's only memorable moments was landing in the pool while the former was a bad girl that sort of reformed while having to ally herself with Bond. After Tracy, I don't think either stood out as well as they could've.

- Again there's some good supporting moments from both Felix and Moneypenny in this movie. Bond also got his backside handed to him by Bambi and Thumper.

- Charles Gray previously played Henderson in You Only Live Twice.

- Standout music: Shirley Bassey's Diamonds Are Forever.

- Chronology: Las Vegas and California for most of the film.

Diamonds Are Forever was an enjoyable follow up to the previous film and marked a good ending to one of his most enduring enemies. It's also got one of the best theme tunes from the entire franchise.

Rating: 8 out of 10