Thursday, March 28, 2024

My Review of Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)

 


Written by Sarah DeLappe And Kristen Roupenian
Directed by Helena Reign

Alice: "Don't call her a psychopath, that's so ableist."

Anyone up for a hurricane party? Well, this might be the movie for you. Or not. Nah, kidding, it's pretty good but given the genre it's in, you can tell exactly where this would be going.

You've got a lesbian couple, comprising of working class Eastern European Bee (Maria Bakalova) and rich girlfriend, Sophie (Amandla Stenberg). Together the two of them go to a fancy house, owned by Sophie's friend, David (Pete Davidson) for the hurricane party and they're not the only ones in attendance.

There's David's aspiring actress girlfriend, Emma (Chase Sui Wonders), podcaster Alice (Rachel Sennot) and her older boyfriend, Greg (Lee Pace), the mysterious Jordan (Myha'la Herrold) and Max (Conner O'Malley) but there's barely any focus on him as a character.

Instead the rest of them during the hurricane party decided to play a "murder in the dark" style game (you will guess the title) for fun. Instead, it devolved into arguments among the group and when David ended up dead, it didn't take too long for this splintered group of people to assume the worst in each other.

In fact they were way too quick to fling accusations at each, assuming the worst of poor Greg before the girls all turned on each other. Between talks of addiction, mental health, fake college attendances and hate listening, none of these girls came across that well. Not to mention more deaths as things got more and more heated with everyone.

Yeah, this movie definitely proved that it was all fun and games until someone lost their life. Trying to figure out the actual killer was amusing (I really did think it was Sophie) though. The actual reveal of the real catalyst of the disastrous evening was more of a mixed bag for me. I got why it was done but I'm not sure I liked it.

- That story about Amandla Stenberg's response to a reviewer's thoughts on this movie was wilder than the movie itself.
- There's definitely a Gen Z whiff off And Then There Were None with this movie.
- Standout music: Azaelia Banks 212, Catherine Slater's Daddy AF and Charlie XCX's Hot Girl.
- Chronology: Present day for Gen Z. 

I think Bodies Bodies Bodies had it's moments but as a satire of Gen Z, I'm not entirely sure if it really landed as well as it could've done. Most of the characters grated at times and even without the hurricane and choice of party game, you wouldn't want to spend a great deal of time with these people.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

Tuesday, March 26, 2024

My Review of Mary & George: "The Wolf And The Lamb"

 


Written by D.C. Moore 
Directed by Alex Winckler

Peter (to George): "Who the fuck do you think you're talking to, you wee English slut?"
Kit: "Me. He was talking to me."

Following the downfall of the Somersets, you'd think things might have been smooth sailing for George in his quest to keep the King, but this episode proved that boyish good looks can only get you so far. George had another adversary this week.

The adversary in question being the Earl of Somerset's cousin, Peter Carr (Dylan Brady). At first, Peter appeared to be a friend for George, one that even became a lover. George trusted him almost a bit too naively, in spite of his other brother, Kit (Jacob McCarthy) being far less trustful.

Anyways as the episode progressed, Peter's presence during the trip to Edinburgh caused tension between George and King James and the latter wasn't a bit happy about the two of them being indiscreet in their sexcapades. It was enough though to get George temporarily dismissed and for Peter to almost get his revenge.

If it hadn't been for Kit, then George would've been a dead man in this episode. Kit came at the right time, killed Peter before the latter could kill George and earned himself a position in the King's. Now Mary's hold on the King got that much bigger.

Yes, we had King James and George reunite and we got two perspectives on George's love for the late Lord Lennox, not to mention the retrieval of his heart. The King really did care about that man, given the lengths he went to retrieve the embalmed heart.

As for Mary, this week she chose to ignore the fact that John was spiralling and thought kidnapping Frances Coke and forcing the girl to marry John was the best course of action. She succeeded but she certainly passed off a lot of people in her mad quest to further protect her family's future.

- Mary's being as open about her affair with Sandie as the King has been with George. George got bit and licked a lot this episode.
- At least Thomas Compton tried to keep John from nearly drowning even if the latter still managed to attack Jenny again.
- Mary made it clear she still intended to pick George a wife during John and Frances's miserable wedding. Elizabeth Hatton paid for the very thing she desperately tried to prevent. 
- Chronology: 1617, Edinburgh and of course, Ruthven Castle.

The Wolf And The Lamb wasn't as strong as the previous ones but it had its moments. I did enjoy learning more of the King's former love and Mary's scheming certainly got worse in this one. 

Rating: 7 out of 10

Monday, March 25, 2024

My Review of Femme (2023)

 


Written And Directed by Sam H. Freeman And Ng Choon Ping

Jules: "You like it. Not the ending you want. Yeah. I'm not your type. Yeah. You want a big man to treat you like a little bitch."
Preston: "Maybe."
Jules: "Come on then. Let's go. And you'll do what I say."

Okay, so here's a movie where you've got two men. It's not a love story but one where the themes of revenge and dominance absolutely blurred the lines as our leads meet under the worst of circumstances.

One night, you've got a confident gay man named Jules (Nathan Stewart-Jarrett) who moonlights as a drag act named Aphrodite. Then there's Preston (George Mackay), a deeply violent and closeted guy. Jules and Preston get into during an altercation at a convenience shop and the former ended up being beaten by the latter and his friends.

Being the victim of a homophobic attack ended up shaking Jules to his core with his friends Molly (Antonia Clarke) and Toby (John McCrea) unable to get through to him. However Jules encountering Preston at a gay sauna (the latter not recognising him) gave him the perfect idea for revenge.

For the rest of the movie, Jules entered a clandestine relationship with Prsston, even lying to the latter's dodgy friends about being a former cellmate. He even charmed Preston's friends but the relationship was one where Jules initially submitted to Preston,  even enduring the latter's volatile temper in parts.

However, it didn't take long, not only for Jules to regain his confidence,  but also to reverse the dynamic between him and Preston. Preston seemed to enjoy the idea of Jules dominating him, even opening to Jules filming a sexual encounter between them when he wasn't making an effort to get to know Jules's friends. 

In some ways, the movie did try to engineer a bit of sympathy for Preston, in spite of his dangerous tendencies. Jules intended to expose him online before changing his mind but Preston's reaction to Jules's deceit ensured this movie ended on an uncomfortable but believable note.

- The writers/directors originally had this as a short with Paapa Essiedu and Harris Dickenson in the Jules/Jordan and Preston/Wes roles. 
- Preston leaving Jules an authentic designer hoodie after his fake one got destroyed in his confrontation with Jules. He was definitely falling in love with Jules.
- Standout music: The score from Adam Janota Bzowski had some good moments, including Sauna Reprise, Glutton For Punishment and Aphrodite Reveals to name a few.
- Chronology: There was a three month gap between Jules's attack and his revenge plan on Preston.

Femme oftentimes made for an uncomfortable watch, but it's lead with two captivating performances from both Nathan Stewart-Jarrett and George Mackay. Both excel in their respective roles with a tightly nuanced script, sublime direction and some very chilling moments. An absolute must see.

Rating: 9 out of 10

My Review of The Burning (1981)


Written by Bob Weinstein And Peter Lawrence And Brd Get Andy Tony Maylarn And Harvey Weinstein
Directed by Tony Maylarn

Camp Counselor (re Cropsy): "Every year he kills. Right now he's out there. Watching. Waiting. So don't look; he'll see you. Don't breathe; he'll hear you. Don't move; you're dead!"

Ooh, look. It's a slasher movie set at a camp and both Jason Voorhees and his mother are nowhere to be seen. This movie certainly came out at a precarious time, a year latwr to what would be an enduring horror franchise.

We start at Camp Blackfoot where unfortunate caretaker Cropsy (Lou David) fond himself the victim of a prank. A prank that resulted in him being horribly burned. The fire should've killed him but it didn't. However it did awaken a desire for revenge as members of another camp had the misfortune to find out.

The other camp being Stonewater, years after the events of his horrible burning. In this camp, the closest to protagonists were responsible but hunky counselor Todd (Brian Matthews) and outcast camper, Alfred (Brian Backer). In the sense, they're the only two survivors of note.

The rest of the movie itself introduced a variety of characters such as the bully Glazer (Larry Joshua) and his girlfriend, Sally (Carrick Glenn) as well as the oversexed Eddy (Ned Eisenberg) and his girlfriend, Karen (Carolyn Houlihan). Needless to say, their characters are there to be cannon fodder along with other campers who all get killed in a gory fashion.

Of course, there's also the counselor Michelle (Leah Ayres), the only female survivor of the movie who did one of the few sensible things by trying to get the police involved. There's a romance of sorts with her and Todd as well.

As for Todd, he did make for a reasonably good hero with both him and Alfred directly being the ones to take Cropsy down. Visually, Cropsy does look horrifying, got some good kills and a rather bloody comeuppance to boot. Alfred made for an okay distressed dude but it's not hard to see why some of the campers didn't care for him.

- The movie opened with Cropsy's burning and ended with another campfire telling of his haunting of the woods. Cropsy seemed to favour pruning shears as a weapon.
- A young Holly Hunter appeared in this movie, this being one of her first acting roles.
- The idea behind this movie revolved around a campfire story that was circulated at summer camps in New Jersey and upstate New York.
- Chronology: There's a five year gap between Cropsy's burning at Blackfoot and his attack on Stonewater.

Unfortunate timing to one side, I have a soft spot for The Burning. While it doesn't outshine a certain movie, it's a damn sight better than the majority of sequels that movie would have. The kills are decent, Cropsy looks creepy, Todd's nice to look at and I really did that end scene.

Rating: 7 out of 10

Sunday, March 24, 2024

My Review of Miller's Girl (2024)

 


Written And Directed by Jade Halley Bartlett

Jonathan: "Don't you get scared, walking through those woods?"
Cairo: "I'm the scariest thing in there."

Doing some channel hopping last night, I opted for a short movie, recently released that wasn't in my usual things to watch and I went with this. I did not choose wisely I'm afraid.

In the short space of time, Jenna Ortega has definitely catapulted her career as an actor, picking a succession of projects clearly to test her range as an actor as well as her general appeal outside a social media prism. I can't commend that enough.

Unfortunately while this movie definitely saw something of a departure for her (and I can see why she would go for something like this) but I think she picked a dud. It's a shame because on paper, this could've been a winner.

In this largely uneven "erotic thriller", Ortega plays an insufferably precocious rich high school student named Cairo Sweet, who decided to take a creative writing class for extra credit. The class being ran by burned out writer Jonathan Miller (Martin Freeman) and soon, both teacher and student find themselves bonding.

Well, in truth, it's more a case of Cairo and Jonathan massaging each others egos, leading to a writing assignment where Jonathan encouraged Cairo to write like one of her favourites. She chose Henry Miller (banned on the school curriculum) and penned a tepid/horribly derivative prose on an affair between a teacher and a student. Needless to say that Jonathan wasn't impressed at all by this.

Of course he had good reason to as it didn't take long for everyone except Cairo's friend, Winnie (Gideon Adlon) to assume it was true. In rapid succession, Jonathan lost his job, his wife Beatrice (Dagmara Domnczyk) and even his biscuit baking coach friend, Boris (Bashir Salahudden) chewed him out. Still, at least he got out of his writers block.

- The movie kept highlighting that Winnie was a lesbian with a crush on Cairo. Cairo stole her idea to seduce a teacher.
- Cairo certainly wore a lot of white in her scenes with Jonathan with some bits of black too.
- Standout music: Johnny Copeland's There's A Blessing.
- Chronology: Set during a school semester, seems to be in the 2020s.

Miller's Girl tried too hard to be a subversive take on the old erotic thriller genre and wound up being too tepid for its own good. There's a decent comment on emotional violence (which Cairo lived up to) but overall, it's just a messy movie with characters too exasperating to care about.

Rating: 5 out of 10

Friday, March 22, 2024

Doctor Who - Season 1 (Series 14) Trailer, Steven Moffat Returns And More

It's been a week since my last Doctor Who blog. A lot has happened within a week. For example.

First of all, a gorgeous and rather funky promo picture of Ncuti Gatwa and Millie Gibson as the 15th Doctor and Ruby Sunday. This pic also has orange, green and yellow backgrounds.

More importantly this also lead to the trailer being released by both Disney+ and BBC (albeit an hour apart from each other). The trailer showed various scenes for both the Doctor and Ruby as glimpses of many of the actors confirmed for this series. 

In the eight episodes we're getting, we've got the consequences of the Butterfly Effect, a musical episodes with the Beatles, landmines, the return of UNIT, a bird like villain in the Regency era and the return of UNIT. Glimpses of plenty new monsters and locations but no returning ones as of yet.

However an essential piece of casting that I've not talked about but feel I need to now would be of course Susan Twist. Already she appeared as Mrs Merridew in Wild Blue Yonder and an unnamed woman in The Church On Ruby Road. Why I am bringing her up now?

I'm bringing her up because Susan Twist will also be a recurring character in the first season, playing a tech businesswoman named Susan Triad, the head of Triad Technology and an ongoing threat for the upcoming season. Adding in Anita Dobson's Mrs Flood (also confirmed for Season 2/Series 15) and the foundling mystery of Ruby, it definitely seems like Russell T. Davies is delving into Steven Moffat's playbook of mystery women for his second era.

Meanwhile in the worst kept secret going, the BBC finally confirmed that Steven Moffat would be returning as a writer for the first season. It seems that Moffat has written the third episode, directed by Julie-Anne Robinson. The former showrunner had this to say about his return to the series.

"Yes, okay, fair enough - apologies to everyone I’ve very slightly misled - I am in fact writing an episode of the series of Doctor Who. Exactly like I said I never would. What can I tell you? There was begging, there was pleading but finally Russell agreed to let me have another go - so long as I got out of his garden. Working with old friends and a brand new Doctor I couldn’t be happier. Sorry I was a bit reticent on the subject for so long. It was all part of an elaborate plan that would have delighted millions but at the last minute I forgot what it was.”

The reception to Moffat's return has largely been positive, though some fans are still clamouring for newer writers. So far, Kate Herron and Briony Redman are the only new writers confirmed for Season 1/Series 14, though with two slots left to be confirmed, perhaps another new writer is yet to be announced.

Last but not least, not only will the month of May see the debut of the new series on BBC1 and Disney+ but you can also catch up with the 15th Doctor and Ruby in comic book form with their debut adventure seeing the pair going up against the Cybermen, due for release from June 26th. On top of that, expect action figures of the pair to be released later this year while an audition piece involving the 15th Doctor and a character named Robin was also released on the BBC Site. I'm providing a link to that below.

Season 1 (Series 14) Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoyV65HoRFA

Doctor Who Season 1 will air from May 11th on BBC1/iPlayer at 12am and a regular evening slot and on Disney+ at 7pm from May 10th.

Tuesday, March 19, 2024

My Review of Mary & George: "Not So Much As Love As By Awe"


Written by D.C. Moore
Directed by Oliver Hermanus 

George (to Robert): "Most hours I long for death but like my mother, I just wanted to fuck you. And it'll be the last thing you think of before you hang."

Ooh, this episode definitely got a little spicy, didn't it? Both Mary and George looked like they were losing King James to Robert Carr and his wife, but then things took a rather interesting turn of events. The Carrs certainly overplayed their hand.

At the start of the episode, George was forced to play music while having to watch the King fuck Robert and other pretty boys while at court, the countess took great pleasure in humiliating Mary and ensuring she left a bad first impression on the King. It really looked like they were being taken out of the game.

Fortunately for the scheming mother and son duo, they had allies in their favour. For Mary, her ally came in the shape of the Earl of Essex (Matt Barkley). He was revealed to be the ex husband of the Countess and a walking reminder of what happened to anyone unfortunate enough to make an enemy out of her.

Yes, the theme of witchcraft played heavily into this episode with rumours of both the Somersets being responsible for the murder of Sir Thomas Overbury and Mary gathering enough evidence of their guilt. However she wasn't the only one to play role in their downfall.

While George fell conveniently ill to smallpox during a heated confrontation with the Somersets and the King, at least he had Sir Francis Bacon (Mark O'Halloran) advising him somewhat better than his mother. We got a nice sex scene between George and Robert and then everything went wrong for Robert and Frances.

It was easy to not feel too bad for the Somersets as this episode really portrayed the pair as cartoon villains.  By the end of this one, George got closer to the King, played music while Mary also got the better of Elizabeth Hatton as well as getting in the good graces of the King herself.

- It seems that Frances resorted to a bit of voodoo to make George ill. King James seemed disappointed that the threat of a witch was over.
- Mary strategically allowed herself to make a show in court as well as having Sandie dressing her up garishly.
- I'm loving the bitchy rivalry between Mary and Elizabeth. Nicola Walker is eating up the pithy dialogue she's given.
- Chronology: Frances Carr was hanged in 1632 but I don't think we've had that huge a time jump between episodes.

Not So Much As Love As By Awe was immensely enjoyable.  The downfall of the Somersets, delving into the King's fixation on witches and both mother and son finding new allies for their cause. I had a lot of fun with one.

Rating: 8 out of 10

Monday, March 18, 2024

My Review of Madame Web (2024)

 


Written by Kerem Sanga And Matt Sazama And Burke Sharpless And S.J. Clarkson And Claire Parker
Directed by S.J. Clarkson

Cassandra: "If you want to live, you have to trust me."

The first live action comic book movie of 2024 and we are definitely not off to the greatest of starts, are you? The curse of Venom being a hit was that Sony had a misguided belief that there was an audience for Spider-Man adjacent projects. This film currently bombing in theatres should put paid to that.

So, snarkiness aside, how bad a movie is Madame Web? I'll let you on a secret, it's not strictly bad per se, just painfully average and too plodding for it's own good, following by a very rushed conclusion, a desperate to bag a sequel and other stuff in between.

The movie started in the jungle of Peru where Ezekiel Sims (Tahir Rahim) betrayed his whole team, just to get his hands on a spider. This included leaving the heavily pregnant Constance Web (Kerry Bishe) for dead, only for a tribe of Spider people to deliver her baby girl.

Thirty years later and the baby in question turned out to be a snarky, emotionally distant woman named Cassandra (Dakota Johnson). She's a paramedic working with Ben Parker (Adam Scott), the uncle of you know who and pretty soon a freak accident at work managed to awaken Cassandra's psychic abilities. 

At the same of that the very rich Ezekiel had his girl Friday, Amaria (Zosia Mamet) track down three teenagers. The teenagers being Julia Cornwall (Sydney Sweeney), Anya Corazon (Isabela Merced) and Mattie Franklin (Celeste O'Connor). Apparently these three will grow up to be Spider-Women and bring about Sims downfall, so he's desperate to take them out first.

Because of that, the three teenagers and Cassandra become entwined with each other and the latter's powers continued to manifest, she took it upon herself to learn more of her mother's past while also stopping Ezekiel (who donned a black Spider suit) from killing Julia, Anya and Mattie.

The funny part was that while also this was happening, you also had the subplot of Mary Parker (Emma Roberts) being creeped out by Cassandra during her baby shower and of course giving birth to Peter, though his name was never stated in the movie. It's amusing but doesn't influence the main story itself.

Other than that, the last battle between Ezekiel and Cassandra was something of a rushed job with the former defeated in a rather anticlimactic fashion and the latter getting blinded and paralysed for comic book accuracy. As for that ending, yeah, we're never getting a resolution to that one.

- The original idea for this movie was actually Cassandra and the Spider-Women protecting a pregnant Mary Parker from a time travelling Ezekiel Sims, which would've made more sense.
- Despite marketing the leads in costumes, you barely see it. Superhero movies need to stop with grounding things like that.
- Standout music: Britney Spears Toxic, Cranberries Dreams and Yeah Yeah Yeah's Miles Away.
- Chronology: 1973 Peru and 2003 Manhattan during this movie.

Madame Web has definitely gotten 2024 off to a rocky start with this particular genre and it might not be the only movie to suffer as a result. It's far from the worst I've ever seen but there was clearly a better movie that got massacred with studio interference and far too many rewrites. Memes aside, this one should be quickly forgotten about.

Rating: 5 out of 10