American Horror Story: 13 Seasons, 13 Standout Characters

First of all, this is a one per season round up and secondly, there's one actor per character in order to make this list a little more interesting.

These are thirteen standout characters in American Horror Story. Feel free to agree/disagree.

1: Lana Winters (Sarah Paulson) - Asylum, Roanoke

LGBT representation can be hit and miss on this show but Lana Winters might be the best lesbian character ever to come out of this show. It's because of this role that the show pivoted with Sarah Paulson becoming more prominent in later seasons. She's incredible as the cutthroat journalist and survivor of both versions of Bloody Face.

2: Michael Langdon (Cody Fern) - Murder House, Apocalypse

The first Antichrist to appear on the show but actually he's the 12th in a long line of them. The best Antichrist. Cody Fern was one hell of a find for the show and he dominated the eighth season with aplomb. Dark, brooding, sexy and genuinely dangerous to watch. It was hard not to be enthralled by this Son of Satan.

3: Madison Montgomery (Emma Roberts) - Coven, Apocalypse, 13

While I do genuinely detest what this season just aired did with the character (talk about character regression), that doesn't change the fact that Madison had a brilliant run of episodes in her first two seasons of storylines. Madison worked well as a foil and then a more reflective character. Not so much as a romcom character but it is what it is.

4: The Countess (Lady Gaga) - Hotel

I'd argue that Lady Gaga didn't need to do much in the way of acting here but when the show lost Jessica Lange, they needed a big name and Gaga's contribution as The Countess aka Elizabeth Johnson was a brilliant way to reinvigorate the show. She ate and ate and ate. Then again, the Lady was a Vamp(ire).

5: Patrick Read (Russell Tovey) - NYC

You'll never convince me that the eleventh season was a bad season. I'd argue it's the best season we've had in the last few years with some genuinely soulful performances and adult writing. It also brought Russell Tovey into this world and his performance as the conflicted detective as well as his chemistry with Joe Mantello elevated that season. 

6: Constance Langdon (Jessica Lange) - Murder House, Apocalypse, 13

Ah, Constance. She's the Devil's favourite sinner among other things. An embittered Southern Belle who killed her husband, the maid, failed her children, her Antichrist grandson and became home help to the Devil. She's a woman with many hats and the occasional red dress.

7: Kai Anderson (Evan Peters) - Cult, 13

The most draining role for Evan Peters turning out to be his best. Perhaps not a shock when you think about it. He made for a seminal baddie in the timely seventh season and his return this season was a highlight. I do wish we had seen a lot more of him this season.

8: Agnes Mary Winstead as Thomasin White/The Butcher (Kathy Bates) - Roanoke 

I was almost tempted to include Kathy Bates most infamous role but I wanted to make sure each season was represented on this list. Kathy Bates gave a brilliant turn as an actress who got a little too into her serial killer role on a popular television show and its a magnificent performance to watch.

9: Dandy Mott (Finn Wittrock) - Freak Show

Who would've thought that a spoiled manchild would also make for one of the most violent and sadistic of killers in this universe? Probably everyone, truth be told. Finn Wittrock made a brilliant first impression as the brattish murderer. I think it's time for him to come back to the show.

10: Belle Noir (Frances Conroy) - Double Feature

This vampish erotic writer had a brilliant double act with bawdy playwright Austin Sommers (Evan Peters) but she also meant business and wasn't afraid to snack on a baby if the moment presented itself. A fearsome and very underrated performance from Frances Conroy.

11: Margaret Booth (Leslie Grossman) - 1984

One of the most unusual killers. Margaret was a God fearing woman who also embraced Satanism and wanted to run the very camp that she killed a lot of people in. On top of that, her later transformation into Ivana Trump made her look all the more dastardly. Easily Leslie Grossman's best role to date.

12: Sonia and Adeline Shawcross (Annabelle Dexter Jones) - Delicate

Okay, I'm cheating but this season was so lacklustre that the best performance came from Annabelle Dexter Jones playing two very different twins. She's equally brilliant as both Sonia and Adeline. Genuinely the best characters in a very bad season.

13: Ben DeSoto (Joey Pollari) - 13

The true protagonist of the current season that just finished up. A man terrified by the number 13 but also the 13th Antichrist and related to several characters for reasons that didn't make sense. While his romantic relationships were a dud to watch, I liked Ben's arc for the most part, thought Joey Pollari gave a solid performance throughout and liked his sacrifice also for the most part. Bring him back next season.

Now that the season has aired, here's a ranking of my favourite seasons of American Horror Story from best to worst.

1. Coven
2. NYC 
3. Murder House 
4. 1984
5. Asylum
6. Apocalypse 
7. Hotel
8. Roanoke
9. Freak Show 
10. Cult
11. 13
12. Double Feature 
13. Delicate

Meanwhile the show has been officially renewed for a fourteenth season, which will hopefully be a damn sight better. The theme, cast, filming and release date will all be revealed in due course.

All thirteen seasons of American Horror Story are available on Hulu and Disney+.

My Review of American Horror Story: 13 - Devil Of A Good Time

 

Written by Ned Martel And Charlie Carver And Brad Falchuk 

Directed by Crystle Roberson Dorsey 

Ben (to Mr. Nas): "All my life I've been afraid of the number thirteen. But I am afraid no longer. It is more than a fear. It is more than my number. It is my destiny. The purpose of my life."

I feel like I'm in a minority of fans who both liked Ben DeSoto as a character and was genuinely invested in his story. Unlike his feckless father, who abandoned Ben and his many siblings, Ben wanted to make the world a better place for his daughter. 

In one of the most annoying and pointless aspects of the finale, both Ben and Madison became parents to an unnamed baby girl. The condom broke, the pregnancy accelerated, Madison gave birth and Nas was the one to breathe life into his new granddaughter. Then his other granddaughter, the killer of the previous Antichrist and Ben plotted his doom.

Of course this show couldn't let the Devil properly win. What kind of message would that have sent out to audiences? And this was in spite of Nas himself calling off the bet and letting everyone live. Mallory found a way to trap Nas's soul in The Last Supper painting and Ben had to give up his new family to do it.

Much as I detest the Ben/Madison pairing (lack of chemistry, build up, feeling unearned, etc) and the inclusion of a baby and the generally bad AO3 style fanfic nature of this plot, it did suck that the poor guy had to lose everything. Even during the actual scene itself, it's less about Ben saving the world and more about Cordelia and Mallory getting the last word in. 

As much as I do love the Coven, they're starting to suck the life out of this show and to it's detriment. The focus should've been more on completing Ben's arc in a way that allowed the character to go out with style. While I like that he got his heroic sacrifice and subverted the role of the Antichrist, the overemphasis on the coven just annoyed me a lot more here.

As for Mr. Nas, his whole plan was fucking idiotic to begin with and the fact that he barely put up a fight to stop Cordelia, Mallory and Ben was also nonsensical. I genuinely think the show's budget cuts played a role in how sloppily handled the main plot for this season actually was. If the budget was there, perhaps Mr. Nas would've won and we'd have seen Hell on Earth. I guess we'll never know now.

- Ben was the thirteenth Antichrist. Others included the likes of Caligula, Xerxes, Hitler, Mussolini and of course, Michael Langdon. 

- Marie was absent from this one, Myrtle relegated to a scene with Morwenna and Fiona taught Constance some magic. Ben rescued Queenie from Hell again.

- Nan returned as Cordelia's personal Hell involved being in a kill shelter. Mallory travelled to Salem witch times to get the spell to defeat Mr. Nas.

- Mr. Phibes was the final sacrifice to Nas to ascend. Phibes was also the final scene as he was making his gay biker movie in Hell.

- Standout music: Troye Sivan's One Of Your Girls.

- Chronology: From where the episode left off. The Coven is now split between the Robichaux Academy and the Apollyon, which Cordelia inherited.

I was really hoping that Devil Of A Good Time would bring this episode home but it's a rushed and messy finale that ignored/abandoned a lot of characters, gave us a pointless supernatural pregnancy and anticlimactic exits for both Ben and Mr. Nas. After this season, we need the longest break from the Coven. 

Rating: 6 out of 10

My Review of Ice Cream Man (2026)

 

Written by Eli Roth And Noah Belson

Directed by Eli Roth

The kids: "I scream, you scream. We all scream for ice cream."

I'll admit that going into this review that I've never watched the 1995 version of this movie. I also knew that going into the 2026 version that it was possibly going to be a movie that I might not enjoy that much. Oddly enough, I thought it was okay.

Eli Roth certainly has a divisive reputation among horror fans and this movie was one that horror fans who are largely neutral on him weren't impressed with. I think there might be a few positives though.

For example, there's a quietly chilling performance from lead Ari Millen. He played the titular character aka Jonathan Smiley. Jonathan was a kind man who got blamed for harming children and had his life ruined. However he was able to team up with a necromancer (Benjamin Byron Davis) in order to get his revenge.

The town of Bayleen Bay bore the brunt of Jonathan's revenge. Giving the kids ice cream brought out their homicidal tendencies and any adult onscreen was subjected to a horrific death. If there's one thing that Eli Roth has perfected as a director, it's a fucking gruesome death. I mean, the deaths are off the scales in terms of brutality.

There's a bunch of kid protagonists including brother and sister duo Jared (Charlie Zeltzer) and Lizzie Mayfair (Sarah Abbott) along with Jared's friends, Tommy (Shiloh O'Reilly) and Mia (Kiori Mirza Waldman). The only ones along with bully turned half decent guy Chris (Dylan Hawco) who didn't eat the ice cream. It was up to them to save the town.  It didn't exactly go to plan.

Actually, it went spectacularly wrong. Nearly everyone got slaughtered and it turned out that Jared's grandfather was responsible for Jonathan's life being ruined. In fact, Jonathan was the only true winner in this whole violent saga.

- Apparently this isn't a remake of the 1995 movie. Eli Roth also appeared as the father of Jared and Lizzie.

- The credit sequence played on the theme effectively enough.

- Standout music: Eli Roth's The Ice Cream Song.

- Chronology: Set in the present day in Bayleen Bay.

Maybe I'm feeling a little generous here but I actually didn't hate this version of Ice Cream Man. Some of the kills were genuinely effective and there's a quiet menace to Ari Millen's version of the title character. At best, it's mediocre.

Rating: 6 out of 10

My Review of Hypochondriac (2022)

 

Written And Directed by Adddison Heimann

Will (to himself): "There's something really wrong with me."

I was looking for some gay horror themed movies and I stumbled across this very odd and very confusing film. Focusing on a gay potter named Will (Zach Villa), he's a guy with a pretty traumatic past. 

With parents like his mother (Marlene Forte) and father (Chrus Doubek), it's no wonder that Will spent so much of this movie being traumatised, dreaming of wolf masks and struggling with both his work and his relationship with boyfriend, Luke (Devon Graye). Let's talk about the latter, shall we?

Luke seemed like a decent boyfriend on the surface. He cooked nice meals and wanted Will to meet his mother. Will kind of sabotaged the latter bit and as Will's mental state took a turn, he actually dumped Luke. That however didn't stop Will from seeking comfort in Luke when he was at an all time low.

I'll admit that I found the second half half of this movie absolutely confusing as hell. It seems like both of Will's parents did a number on him and there was a concern that he might have had ALS. His father threatened to have him locked up, his mother's return unsettled him and did he actually kill Luke?

Then when Will was institutionalised, it seemed he was maybe getting some help from his therapist there. I can't tell if the film had a positive or gloomy end for Will as a character or even what happened to Luke.

- There's some support roles from both Paget Brewster and Adam Busch as medical professionals attempting to help Will.

- Will's boss was a cruel bitch uninterested in his mental well being while Will had been helpful to a co-worker earlier in the film.

- Standout music: Jessie J's Domino. 

- Chronology: Present day Los Angeles, though a time jump between the younger and older versions of Will

I'm not sure how I feel about Hypochondriac as a film. I don't think I particularly liked it in terms of execution, in spite of the fact that its a personal story from the writer/director. Zach Villa did give a solid performance, so that helped.

Rating: 6 out of 10

My Review of The Silence Of The Lambs (1991)

 

Written by Ted Tally

Directed by Jonathan Demme

Hannibal: "Well, Clarice - have the lambs stopped screaming?"

For a film that I've watched a good amount of times, I can't believe it's taken me this long to write an actual review for it on this blog but here we are. Yes, this was a movie that I saw when I was too young to see and it's stayed with me ever since.

To me, Anthony Hopkins is Hannibal Lecter. That's not being disrespectful to other actors who've assumed the role but his performance in this movie was so captivating and chilling in equal measure, it's hard not to be engrossed by his particular take on the iconic baddie.

It's funny that this was the second movie in a row where he's not actually the main threat but he's more effective than said threat and yet again, the main protagonist needed his assistance in catching the killer. This time around, it's FBI trainee Clarice Starling (Jodie Foster) who sought Lecter's counsel.

There are some performances that are defining for an actor, movie, genre etc and this film had two of them. For all the plaudits that I can level at Anthony Hopkins, I'd be remiss if I didn't do the same with Jodie Foster. She's utterly incredible through this entire movie as Clarice Starling. Then when she's in scenes with Hopkins, it's a whole other level of acting.

Clarice and Hannibal are magnetic to watch. They're able to get the measure of one another and there's a certain respect among two people on the very opposite sides of the law. That final phone call between Hannibal and Clarice was a brilliant way to cap off this film and to lead into a future encounter.

As for the villain himself, I do find Buffalo Bill (Ted Levine) pretty effective, if not as engrossing as Hannibal and Clarice. His kidnapping of Catherine Martin (Brooke Smith) drove the second half of the movie and there's a discussion on the nature of Bill's gender identity issues. It's not a flawless take on the issue but it's a honest one nonetheless.

- I find it really amusing that this movie got released on Valentine's Day. Who on Earth brought their date to this movie?

- There's some creepy stuff involving moths as well as Clarice bring assaulted with certain bodily fluids and her own harrowing past involving lambs.

- Standout music: Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers American Girl.

- Chronology: Clarice was training at Quantico and Lecter got flown to Memphis. Throw in mentions and sightings of Montana, Ohio, LAX and Calumet City.

The Silence Of The Lambs has earned it's place in cinematic history. There's defining performances from both Anthony Hopkins and Jodie Foster.  They're utterly captivating to watch from start to finish. One of the best movies, full stop. 

Rating: 9 out of 10

My Review of Manhunter (1986)

 

Written And Directed by Michael Mann

Will: "It's just you and me now, sport. And I'm going to find you, God damn it."

To the general audience, there are two actors who they deeply associate as the character of Hannibal Lecter and it's not Brian Cox. However in this movie, he's Hannibal Lecktor and he's a supporting player in this now cult classic and first onscreen depiction of the iconic killer and cannibal.

Yeah, this was an adaptation of Thomas Harris's Red Dragon novel. Here, it's FBI Agent Will Graham (William Petersen) that's the main protagonist and it's a race against time in order for Will to stop Francis Dollarhyde aka the Tooth Fairy (Tom Noonan) from escalating his depraved crimes.

Part of Will's journey into saving the day meant confronting Hannibal Lecktor. There's a violent history between the two of them and some of the best moments are the scenes between these two. Hannibal seemed to have a bit of grudging respect for Will but was mostly helpful in helping Will get closer into trapping Dollarhyde.

As a villain, Francis was chilling enough. He was a fan of Hannibal and the FBI tried to use that in order to smoke him out. Instead they put Freddy Lounds (Stephen Lang) in the worst kind of danger. Lounds did put himself in the firing line with the way he implied that Francis was gay and Freddy's comeuppance did make for one of the most brutal scenes in the whole film. I even felt bad for the guy.

As for Dollarhyde, he had a girlfriend named Reba (Joan Allen) and she was partially there to try and humanise Francis a little. Francis even went berserk when Reba was abducted but he was also willing to kill her when we got into the final confrontation between him and Will.

Outside of Will, Hannibal and Francis, the other most noteworthy characters included FBI Agent Jack Crawford (Dennis Farina) and he's a good support character. There's some screen time given to Will's wife, Molly (Kim Griest) and his son and they're there to show Will's private life.

- This won't be the only film adaptation of this particular book as we'd get a 2002 version as well. 

- Brian Cox has mentioned basing his performance on Scottish serial killer Peter Manuel.

- Standout music: Shriekback's The Big Hush and The Prime Movers Strong As I Am.

- Chronology: Birmingham, Alabama as well as St. Louis, Atlanta and Florida.

I can see why Manhunter (1986) has developed its cult classic status. Its a pretty strong adaptation of the source material and there's good performances from William Petersen, Tom Noonan and Brian Cox respectively. 

Rating: 7 out of 10

My Review of A Clockwork Orange (1971)

 

Written And Directed by Stanley Kubrick 

Alex: "I was cured, all right!"

I'm not entirely sure if this fits into my horror binge of movies and shows this month but then I remember, this was a movie that was so controversial, it was once banned. Yup, that was something that happened to this particular film.

There was a crime wave in Britain at the time and it certainly inspired the making of this film. A bunch of delinquent youths led by the charismatic, dangerous and disaffected Alex DeLarge (Malcolm McDowell) made for a frightening force.

These youths weren't just content with sneaking into bars at night that they were too young for. They also enjoyed acts of vandalism but targeting a well off couple in the middle of nowhere wasn't their brightest ideas.

The scene where Alex and his band of droogs - Pete (Michael Tarn), Georgie (James Marcus), and Dim (Warren Clarke) attacked writer Frank Alexander (Patrick Magee) and wife, Mary (Adrienne Corri). Even to this day, it's one of the most shocking displays of physical and sexual assault commited to film and made for an uncomfortable watch.

Of course, it's this horrible act of violence that brought about the eventual capture of Alex himself. He's forced to undergo extreme methods of aversion therapy called the Ludovico technique to curb his sadistic tendencies. It worked enough to get his freedom back but at a cost.

Alex would try to behave himself and even couldn't have sex with a woman without reservations. However it was his reunion with Frank that saw the latter get his own revenge and drive Alex to suicide. Alex of course made it out of the film alive and with a rather nifty job position. He was cured alright.

- Based on the book by Anthony Burgess of the same name. It's mostly a faithful adaptation too, excluding the final scene.

- One of the first films not to have opening credits after the title and most of the continuity errors were intentional.

- Standout music: The macabre use of both Singin' In The Rain and Beethoven's Ninth Symphony.

- Chronology: A futuristic dystopian Britain was the setting for this movie.

A Clockwork Orange undoubtedly earned it's reputation as botha masterful piece of filmmaking by Stanley Kubrick and one of the most depraved pieces of film ever to hit the big screen. Throw in a glorious lead performance from Alex McDowell and this film's a masterpiece.

Rating: 9 out of 10 

My Review of Clayface (2026)

 

Written by Mike Flanagan And Hossein Amini

Directed by James Watkins

Matt (quoting a movie role): "I'm coming for all of you and Hell is coming with me."

The DCU has had a mixed 2026. Supergirl ended up being a crushing box office disappointment, only for Lanterns to hit big for HBO. Now its time for the DCU to properly dip their toes into the world of horror. I guess starting with a Batman villain was the way to go.

Once again, we have another take on the character of Clayface where Matt Hagan (Tom Rhys Harries) was given the backstory of Basil Karlo. Why does this keep happening? If you've seen Batman: The Animated Series episodes Feat Of Clay and Mudslide, a lot of what happened in this movie will be familiar.

Matt Hagen should be having the time of his life. He's a hot actor and a guy from the Narrows made good. He's gotten nominated for an Academy Award, booked another gig and life in general was looking good for him. Then it went all horribly wrong and all because he danced and hooked up with the wrong woman.

The woman being Mia Torrez (Joana Ribeiro). She happened to be the girlfriend of mobster Markos Szabo (David Dencik). Szabo didn't take kindly to Matt being with Mia so Matt ended up being horribly disfigured, accused of sexual assault and dropped by his agent, Hildie Love (Nancy Carroll). It's amazing how fast Matt's life came crashing down around him.

In fact, not only did Matt lose the job he loved but he also had to deal with betrayals from both his manager, Frank Fitzpatrick (Eddie Marsan) and best friend Corey Bowery (Joshua James). The latter's betrayal in particular affected Matt the worst as his mental state deteriorated as the movie progressed.

For those worried that Clayface would go the same way as the Sony movies have with certain villains, don't worry. Matt might be sympathetic but his story only darkened once he agreed to work with Dr. Caitlyn Corr (Naomi Ackie) in getting his face fixed. Matt's transformation took the absolute worst turn it could've have taken and his obsession with Caitlyn also lead to the death of her detective boyfriend, John Borrelli (Max Minghella).

In fact, Matt went on a massive killing spree, taking out everyone who screwed him over and there's some pretty gruesome deaths on display here. Szabo in particular arguably got the worst but killing John forced Caitlyn's hand into stopping Matt. The final transformation into Clayface and that tragic last scene might be one of the best endings for any movie this year.

- Both Rob Brydon and Aaron Paul appeared in this movie. The former as Gotham talk show host Vic Chessler and the latter as Matt's abusive father, Jimmy.

- The airplane scene with the eyes and the small scissors genuinely pushed my levels of squeamish. I really had a hard time looking at that scene, it was horrifying to watch.

- There's no big references to Batman, though he exists in this timeline. Coast City was referenced a few times.

- Clayface's final look did seem to evoke the Arkham games. Vesuvius Club also featured prominently in the film.

- Standout music: Jasmine Jethwa's If You Leave Me Now and David Bowie's Golden Years.

- Chronology: The events of this movie happened before the first season of Creature Commandos. Set in Gotham City.

Clayface could've fallen apart as both a horror film and an off kilter DCU project but it delivered on both fronts. Tom Rhys Harries brought Matt Hagen to life perfectly and the character's downward trajectory was so fascinating to watch. That final scene alone will stick with me for a while. A fantastic horror and DCU film in equal measures.

Rating: 8 out of 10

My Review of American Horror Story: 13 - Sisters In Arms

 

Written by Ned Martel And Charlie Carver 

Directed by Gillian Robespierre 

Fiona: "I think you'll understand when I say I can't believe my eyes."

Constance: "Nor can I."

I certainly can't believe what this episode tried and failed to pull off. I knew we were going to get some convoluted nonsense in which Fiona Goode and Constance Langdon would be suddenly related but talk about messing it up badly here.

I could maybe believe in Fiona and Constance being twin sisters but the two of them sharing a mother in Sister Jude Martin from Asylum? This felt like the show was taking the piss. It's just horrible writing and bad continuity to seasons past. There was also no need for Jude to be a sexual assault victim of the Devil.

I'll admit that I did like Myrtle being the one to break the news to Fiona and also the one to introduce Fiona and Constance and give them some alone time together. That was considerate of Myrtle. Fiona and Constance had a lot to discuss but the latter's resentment over having no magic annoyed me. I like that Fiona didn't let Constance blame her for that.

When we weren't indulging in the sisterly reunion, Ben realised that time was of the essence in order to defeat his father. Both Cordelia and Marie looked like they wanted to gag Ben but instead, Ben made himself useful and plucked Queenie out of Hell. Ben might be getting used to his powers but he's certainly enjoying the perks of taking trips into Hell without any consequences for him.

Anyways, I was glad to see Queenie back on Earth but Marie's OTT way of explaining a plan to defeat Mr. Nas was one of those scenes that went on too long. I also knew that it was a plan that was going to go horribly wrong once Cordelia, Queenie and Ben headed back to the Apollyon to carry out the plan.

It had to go wrong, didn't it? They made a point of Nas being able to read Ben's mind and Ben got knocked out yet again. On top of that, we had Queenie being strangled by Rubber Man and Cordelia being stabbed by Mr. Phibes. It should've made for a gripping cliffhanger but it felt a bit flat.

- Where the Hell were Madison, Mallory, Coco, Myrtle, Fiona and Constance during Marie's big plan discussion?

- Queenie is considering moving to New York after the Coven defeat Satan. I really do feel like this show has to deplete the Coven next week. 

- Pepper got a mention when Nas was tormenting Jude but not an appearance. I wish this episode did a better job in showing why Constance is only now going against Mr. Nas.

- Ben acted like the events of the previous episode didn't happen. There was no continuity on him and Madison.

- Marie almost seem to have more respect now that she was made aware of Cordelia's true lineage.

- Chronology: From where the previous episode left off. 

Sisters In Arms was a poor penultimate episode that not even three different performances from Jessica Lange could save it. I've been a big defender of this season but there's no getting away from how much of an actual mess it's become as we head towards the finale. Can the last episode bring this together? I hate to say it but it's not looking likely.

Rating: 5 out of 10

My Review of American Horror Story: 13 - Madison's Happy Ending

 

Written by Ned Martel And Charlie Carver And Ryan Murphy 

Directed by Adam Penn

Ben (to the Coven): "Trust me, I am not the Devil that you know. I'm the Devil you need."

Every once in a while, a show you love will produce an episode so devastatingly stupid, you'll almost feel embarrassed for liking said show to begin with. This was that very episode and being so close to the finale, it made it so much more headache inducing.

All season long, something has felt off about Madison Montgomery as a character. It's like instead of coming up with new iconic lines organically for her, the show was forcing them, with none of them remotely landing. Even the revised "Surprise bitch" line earlier in the season was a low for Madison.

However, the writing for her in this episode bordered on outright misogyny. Since when was Madison a romcom Princess? And while I do like the idea of Ben being a dream Prince, this episode spectacularly failed to deliver on it's mawkish premise. We're at the tail end of defeating Satan. We didn't have time for this.

I'll give Joey Pollari and Emma Roberts some credit for trying to make Ben and Madison work but not enough to justify the amount of time the episode wasted trying to develop a relationship between the two. Yes, Madison fell in love with Ben but did he fall back in love with her? He certainly liked spending time with her but you're not given the perspective they were on the same page romantically. 

Oddly enough, Ben's best scenes were with the Coven. He started the episode being threatened with castration but plucking Myrtle Snow (Frances Conroy) out of retail Hell certainly earned him some brownie points. I don't think the season needed Myrtle back but I'll never say no to seeing more of Frances Conroy and Cordelia couldn't hide her joy in Myrtle being back.

While I've enjoyed the nice boy Ben more than most people, this bad boy version who wants to do good is actually enjoyable. I love that Ben is going the opposite route to Michael Langdon (who I also loved) and now that Ben's tapped into his demon side, he's gotten that tiny bit more sexier to boot. Funny that.

- I knew Ashley was going to be a goner but Ben killing her by accident I didn't expect. Good riddance though.

- Myrtle really did just get a variation of Madison's personal Hell until Ben stepped in to get her. Frances Conroy's name has been added to the opening credits. 

- Ben started the season disapproving of Constance smoking and now, he's enjoying a post sex smoke with Madison. He looked gorgeous in that grey suit on their date.

- Mallory had the most hostility for Ben out of all the witches whereas Coco was charmed by him.

- The references to Julia Roberts, the need for a baby, the gay gynaecologist. I hated all of these scenes that involved Madison. It felt like a different show and not a good one.

- Chronology: From where the previous episode left off.

I don't think the show has produced an episode as spectacularly bad as Madison's Happy Ending. It's genuinely the worst episode of American Horror Story in it's thirteen season history. The Madison/Ben plot was a classic case of "too little, too late" for this sort of pairing and quite frankly, I'd be more happy to see them break up by the finale. Let it be a doomed romance.

Rating: 4 out of 10

My Review of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

 

Written by Kim Henkel And Tobe Hooper

Directed by Tobe Hooper 

Hitchhiker: "My family's always been in meat."

For the month of Halloween, I knew I was going to get around to this one. Yeah, it's not a Halloween movie but it's an iconic horror movie (with a lot of mediocre to bad sequels) that I haven't covered on this blog until now.

There's five teenagers -  Sally Hardesty (Marilyn Burns), Jerry (Allen Danziger), Pam (Teri McMinn), Kirk (William Vail), and Sally's brother Franklin (Paul A. Partain), who was a paraplegic. These characters were our protagonists but most were also fodder when they made the mistake of picking up a hitchhiker (Edwin Neal).

As the film would reveal, this wasn't an ordinary hitchhiker. He was Nubbins Sawyer and he was unstable and a cannibal to boot. The rest of the Sawyer family weren't exactly model citizens either. Drayton (Jim Siedow), Grandpa (John Dugan) and of course, there's Leatherface (Gunnar Hansen) himself.

Leatherface undoubtedly became the most memorable member of the Sawyer clan. He was handy with a chainsaw, physically intimidating and rather slow witted. He made for a truly terrifying presence but also was the most tragic member of that family.

As the movie went along, all of the teenagers suffered at the hands of the Sawyer clan and they suffered brutally. Sally of course was shaped as the Final Girl but she's not the type that most expect these days.

Sally barely survived this movie as she went through absolute hell seeing her friends and brother die, losing a finger and being tortured by the Sawyers. I can't say she's one of my favourite Final Girls but it's hard not to feel for her throughout this film.

- Parts of this movie were influenced by the real life crimes of Ed Gein and Elmer Wayne Henley.

- John Larroquette did the narration for this film.

- Standout music: Roger Bartlett and Friends Fool For A Blonde.

- Chronology: Set in 1973 in the fictional town of Newt, Muerto County, Texas. 

I'll admit that I'm not as enamored with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre as many horror fans but I do like this first movie and Leatherface made for a terrifying presence with the screen time he's had.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of Gerald's Game (2017)

 

Written by Mike Flanagan And Jeff Howard

Directed by Mike Flanagan 

Jessie: "This monster was real, real as they come. As real as the cuffs, as the dog. As real as the eclipse."

It came to my attention that I had missed something out in my overall viewing of Mike Flanagan's filmography. Yup, there was this Netflix adaptation of a Stephen King book in movie form, featuring some of his regular players.

In this movie, you've got Carla Gugino and Bruce Greenwood. They're a married couple named Jessie and Gerald Burlingame. Their marriage was on the rock and a weekend away at a lake house was needed to get things back on track for the pair.

Throw in a bit of roleplay, bondage and a scenario that Jessie was growing increasingly uncomfortable with and it appeared that both her and Gerald had much bigger problems to deal with head on. Then Gerald had a heart attack and died at the worst possible time.

For the majority of this film, Jessie's handcuffed to a bed with her dead husband on top of her, a dog that alternated between friendly and feral and worse than that, Jessie's past. With no rescue in sight, she spent a lot of time taking a trip down memory lane while being confined to a bed.

In flashbacks her younger self (Chiara Aurelia) had siblings named Maddie (Adalyn Jones) and James (Bryce Harper) that she wasn't as close to. Jessie also wasn't close to her mother Sally (Kate Siegel) but she was also a victim of abuse at the hands of her father, Tom (Henry Thomas).

Yes, Jessie's past with her father isn't that dissimilar to what Stephen King previously tackled in Dolores Claiborne but there's also the addition of the sinister Moonlight Man aka Raymond Andrew Joubert (Carel Struycken). The character's menacing enough but felt rather underdeveloped in this particular adaptation. 

- There's also a plot with the eclipse in flashbacks. Jessie hallucinates versions of herself and Gerald talking to her.

- Carla Gugino would work with Henry Thomas and Kate Siegel a year later in The Haunting Of Hill House.

- Standout music: Sam Cooke's Bring It On Home To Me.

- Chronology: Set in Fairhope, Alabama with a six month jump towards the end of the film.

I can't say I really dug Gerald's Game as an adaptation. It's fine I suppose. Carla Gugino did give a good performance as did Bruce Greenwood but it's themes have explored better in other works by both Stephen King and Mike Flanagan respectively.

Rating: 6 out of 10 

Glee - Reboot Ordered By Hulu/Disney+

 

Last month, I reported that Ryan Murphy had planned a reboot of Glee and now, a month later, it's been confirmed that Hulu and Disney+ have ordered a revival series for the popular musical drama that ran for six seasons on FOX, between 2009 to 2015.

As of now, it's early days and no cast members have been announced but chances are, we'll know exactly who'll be involved over the next few weeks. Not sure how I feel about this tbh.

Press Release: https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv-news/glee-revival-series-disney-plus-hulu-1236736950/

Glee is available to watch on Hulu and Disney+

My Review of Crystal Lake - Season 1 (2026, Peacock Series)

 

Written by Bryan Fuller And Brad Caleb Kane And Jen Silverman And Pia Wilson And Evan Endicott And Josh Stoddard And Karl Taro Greenfeld And Laura Marks And Arthur Imperatore

Directed by Michael Lennox And Celine Held And Logan George And Quyen Tran

Pamela (to Levon): "I don't want to heal. I just want to find my son." 

It's certainly been a month for horror and we've still got a week and a half left before Halloween itself. When it comes to horror franchise, I'm not gonna lie - Friday The 13th can often be very hit and miss for me.

If you think of this eight part series from Peacock as an alternative prequel to the popular horror franchise, you may like it a lot more. Even if you don't, the question would be - is it any worse than the sequels we've had? I'd argue it's better than most of the sequels.

For instance, it's biggest strength would be Linda Cardellini. The decision to cast her as Pamela Voorhees by far was the best thing the show did. She's more perfect from start to finish. A woman with a shady past, all she wanted to do was to provide a loving environment for her son, Jason (Callum Vinson/Jonathan Tison). Taking him to Camp Crystal would end up being her biggest mistake.

The opening episode didn't waste time in killing Jason off due to hedonistic counsellors Barry (Phoenix Parnevik) and Claudette (Danielle Kotch) being more into each other than doing their jobs. Of course, there's a twist to Jason's origins and even his death and aftermath.

Jason had made a friend in a girl named Grace (Gwend Sundstrom) and she's a major player in the show. She came from a crappy home with an abusive mother named Valerie (Tonya Glanz), who'd get one gruesome death upon annoying Pamela. Anyways, Grace witnessed Barry and Claudette failing Jason and she's part of their big death scene in the fifth episode wheb it should've been Pamela's moment alone.

Then there's Jason's origins itself. Pamela being involved with Elias Wittering (Hamish Linklater) saw Jason being a product of a scientific experiment that was supposed to test human endurance. Bellflower are the villains of the season and it only took the finale for the family reunion from Hell.

Keeping in with Pamela's chaotic world, there was a slew of decent supporting characters. Pamela had allies with Chief Levon Brooks (William Catlett) and his reporter sister, Briana (Devin Kessler). Levon was also a love interest for Pamela while Rita (Joy Suprano) and Officer Dorf (Cameron Scoggins) had their moments as did the reclusive Ralph (Nick Cordileone).

Episode titles are Camp Crystal, Part 2, Part III, A New Beginning, The New Blood, Kill Them Mommy, Friday and The Final Chapter.

- I liked that the title sequence evoked many of the title sequences from the movie.

- Pamela wore her iconic blue sweater in the fifth and sixth episodes. Some of her lines were reworked a bit.

- The last scene with Steve Christy (Dan Thompson) talking to the campers about Jason as the latter watched them.

- Standout music: Harry Manfredini provided the theme but the composer for the series was Giosuè Greco.

- Chronology: 1971 in Crystal Lake. The seventh episode was set in Houston.

Crystal Lake isn't a perfect prequel to Friday The 13th but it's a damn sight better than expected, although it's more of an alternative version tbh. Linda Cardellini delivers one of the best performances on TV/streaming this year and there's some rather great kills. 

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of 3 From Hell (2019)

 

Written And Directed by Rob Zombie 

Otis: "Hello America. Did you miss me?"

The last two days I watched and reviewed the first two installments of Rob Zombie's Firefly trilogy and now I'm at the very end of said trilogy. It's certainly been a bumpy set of movies.

After the second film, there was an uncertainty towards the fates of Baby (Sheri Moon Zombie), Otis (Bill Moseley) and Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig). It turned out that they got caught, gained public support but still ended up serving life sentences.

Because Rob Zombie clearly had a thing for those exploitation prison movies, there's some emphasis on Baby's prison time. Yup, she got to be subjected to a rough time, dealing with characters like Greta (Dee Wallace) and Slackjaw (Dot Marie Jones) before she's eventually freed.

Spaulding didn't fare as well as he was given lethal injection off screen while Winslow Foxworth "Foxy" Coltrane (Richard Brake) helped break both Otis (his half brother) and Baby out of the slammer. Foxy also replaced Spaulding in this depraved line up of main characters.

Anyways the trio ended up in Mexico and it's a place where they partied and even bond with some of the locals. Baby in particular had a nice connection with Sebastian (Pancho Moler) and this film managed to give us a character slightly worse than the Firefly clan.

Yup, Aquarius (Emilio Rivera) and his men wanted to take Baby, Otis and Foxy out and they very nearly succeeded. For a family as evil as the Firefly clan, it's almost a miracle that I was rooting for them against Aquarius. Of course they were victorious. I wasn't expecting otherwise.

- Sid Haig died before this movie's release, hence the addition of Foxy to the family.

- Danny Trejo appeared in the previous film and also appeared in this one.

- Standout music: Suzi Quatro's The Wild One.

- Chronology: Ten years since the events of the second film.

3 From Hell marked an okay ending to a generally okay trilogy of films surrounding a pretty nasty family. Probably not a trilogy I'll revisit but could've been worse.

Rating: 6 out of 10 

My Review of Twice-Told Tales (1963)

Written by Robert E. Kent 

Directed by Sidney Salkow

Beatrice: "Your daughter is a fine specimen, too, isn't she father? A specimen of the most deadly thing that was ever given life."

My need to watch Vincent Price horror films this month has extended beyond Poe adaptations. I caught up with this gem last night,which saw him tackling three different roles.

The movie might called Twice -Told Tales but there's actually three of them, based on some rather infamous stories. In each of them, Price had something of an antagonistic role to play.

The first one was Dr. Heidegger's Experiment, in which Price was Alex Medborne. Both him and his friend, Dr. Carl Heidegger (Sebastian Cabot). They're celebrating the latter's 79th birthday and were playing around with water that had preservation properties. It was enough to make both men young.

It was also enough to resurrect Heidegger's fiancée, Sylvia (Mari Blanchard), who's been dead for 38 years. Throw in a very toxic love triangle between the three and this segment saw no one getting out alive as the water only temporarily restored people.

The second one was the best. A take on Rappaccini's Daughter, this one had Price as Giancomo, who kept his daughter, Beatrice (Joyce Taylor) prisoner in a poisonous garden. Beatrice herself too was poisonous but also in love with university student, Giovanni (Brett Halsey).

Giacomo was desperate to keep both Beatrice and Giovanni away from one another but then infected Giovanni in order for his daughter to have her lover. Again, none of the characters from this one made it out alive.

The last story, The House of the Seven Gables was the weakest of the bunch but still pretty decent. Price took on the role of Gerald Pyncheon. Both Gerald and his wife Alice (Beverly Garland) return to the former's family home and it's a home with it's own secrets and lies.

There's also a family curse, which involved Jonathan Maulle (Richard Denning), who was a descendant of the original curse maker. Throw in a rivalry between Gerald and his sister, Hannah (Jacqueline deWit), attempted murder and the collapse of a family home and it's a suitable ending for this anthology.

- There's a comic book version of this movie that you can enjoy.

- Vincent Price previously played Clifford Pyncheon in the 1940 version of The House Of The Seven Gables.

- I liked the skeleton hand used to turn the page on each story.

- Chronology: 1859 for the first story, Padua for the second story and the 19th century for the final story.

Twice-Told Tales told three different stories, all of which Vincent Price at the helm. They're good stories with the middle one being the best of the bunch.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of House Of Usher (1960)

 

Written by Richard Matheson 

Directed by Roger Corman 

Narration: "And the deep and dark tarn closed silently over the fragments of the House of Usher - Poe."

I did say that I wasn't going to review these Vincent Price/Roger Corman adaptations of Edgar Allen Poe stories in order, so I went back a few movies to review this one.

A couple of years, I really enjoyed the Netflix adaptation of this particular story and this version also turned out to be very enjoyable too. As usual, Vincent Price would turn in a fantastic performance.

In this adaptation, he's Roderick Usher and he comes from a cursed family bloodline. As a consequence of that, he's incredibly overprotective of his sister, Madeline (Myrna Fahey). This was something that didn't go down well with her betrothed, Philip Winthrop (Mark Damon).

In fact despite Roderick and even the butler, Bristol (Harry Ellerbe) trying to warn Philip about the cursed bloodline and the madness, Philip wouldn't take any warning to mind. He was determined to bring Madeline back to America with him. Of course, fate had other ideas for her.

She suffered from catalepsy and was buried alive. She got out of her coffin and went absolutely mad and ended her own bloodline along with Bristol. It's a very brutal but suitable ending for this incredibly dysfunctional family.

Of course, it's more devastating for Philip. All he wanted was to be with Madeline and didn't get to have that. It's a very bittersweet ending but fitting in consideration to the source material.

- This was the first of these eight movies. I've got four more of these to go.

- The opening and ending credits had a nice smoky colour effect.

- The film also went by the title of The Fall Of The House Of Usher.

- Chronology: The Usher manor was in the worst place near a murky swamp.

House Of Usher is a glorious adaptation of the source material. Note perfect performances from the three leads, superb direction and cinematography. 

Rating: 8 out of 10 

My Review of The Devil's Rejects (2005)

 

Written And Directed by Rob Zombie

Otis: "I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work."

Yesterday I wrote my review for House Of 1000 Corpses. That film struck a chord that a sequel came out two years later. The focus being on the Firefly family and the absolute carnage that they caused.

Mostly, the focus was on Baby (Sheri Moon Zombie), Otis Driftwood (Bill Moseley) and Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig). Their antics from the previous film had the law going after them, in particular the rather overzealous and excessively violent Sheriff John Quincey Wydell (William Forsythe).

The film quickly killed off Rufus (Tyler Mane) while taking Mother Firefly (Leslie Easterbrook) into custody and the latter absolutely revelled in being as vile to Wydell as best she could. She even took delight in reminding Wydell that her family were responsible for the death of his brother George (Tom Towles). Let's just say that Mother seriously underestimated how psychotic Wydell really was.

Don't get me wrong - the Firefly are psychotic scumbags who deserve to die but it's like this movie tried to make them sympathetic by making Wydell as unhinged as they are. When Baby, Spaulding and Otis are captured, it's almost sweet seeing them trying to protect each other. Even Tiny (Matthew McGrory) saving Baby was an oddly sweet moment.

Then there's the fact that for no reason whatsoever, the on the run Firefly family randomly target a family - husband and wife Roy (Geoffrey Lewis) and Gloria Sullivan (Priscilla Barnes) along with their daughter, Wendy (Kate Norby) son in law Adam (Lew Temple) and roadie Jimmy Cracker (Brian Posehn). None of those people deserve what they're subjected to and none of them made it out of the movie alive either.

The Firefly family really do spend this movie adding victims, enemies and even allies into their twisted world. The ending being one drawn out car chase with their fate left unknown would've been a decent way of closing this family out but a third movie would come out fourteen years later. 

- Wydell gets angry about a lot of things and disrespecting Elvis Presley was one of them.

- Characters from the Groucho's were used as aliases here. Not surprised the Firefly family kept photos of their victims.

- Standout music: Lynyrd Skynyrd's Free Bird.

- Chronology: Took place during May 18th 1978.

The Devil's Rejects has some horrible moments and a racist chant that even in 2005 should've been removed but it's a solid enough expansion on the Firefly family and the people that crossed their path in this one.

Rating: 6 out of 10 

My Review of The Masque Of The Red Death (1964)

 

Written by Charles Beaumont And R. Wright Campbell

Directed by Roger Corman 

Red Death (to Prospero): "Why should you be afraid to die? Your soul has been dead for a long long time."

I'm continuing with my Vincent Price/Roger Corman Edgar Allen Poe and not strictly in order. I went for this one yesterday as I do like Price in villain mode and he's pretty dastardly here.

It's medieval Italy and Price in this film was cast as Satanic Prince Prospero. He's a mean spirited bastard who took delight in burning down a village as an old woman who had the Red Death (aka anthrax) died. On top of that, Prospero's ways of dealing with villagers also left a lot to be desired.

He's smitten with village girl Francesca (Jane Asher) and took her prisoner. He also Francesca's lover Gino (David Weston) and her father, Ludovico (Nigel Green) prisoner too. Prospero spent some of the movie trying to get Gino and Ludovico to kill one another and when he couldn't, he came up with a plan to cause despair to both men and Francesca.

Satanism played a huge role in this film. Prospero was a devout follower of the Dark Lord and wanted everyone to know that. His mistress Juliana (Hazel Court) took her devotion a further step in proving herself worthy. Let's just say she got married but not in a way that I'd recommend to anyone.

There's also the presence of the ghastly Alfredo (Patrick McGee). His abuse of dwarf girl Esmeralda (Verina Greenlaw) brought out the vengeful side of her lover, Hop-Toad (Skip Martin) and he's given quite the comeuppance. It's really satisfying to watch if I'm being honest.

Of course what was also satisfying was the reveal of Red Death himself and how he factored into the downfall of Prospero. It's beautifully depicted with a great dual performance from Vincent Price. The ending as well with the other cloaked figure was suitably chilling.

- The cloaked figures were white (Tuberculosis), yellow (Yellow Fever), orange (Scurvy), blue (Cholera), violet (Influenza), and black (Bubonic Plague). 

- Corman wanted to adapt this story as it was his favourite after House Of Usher (1960).

- Hop-Toad and Esmeralda appeared in the short story, Hop-Frog but were added to this adaptation 

- Chronology: Medieval Italy for the entire movie.

The Masque Of The Red Death is a fabulous adaptation of the source material with Vincent Price truly playing such a reprehensible prince. There's something truly satisfying in watching Prospero's comeuppance play out and the final scene gave chills.

Rating: 8 out of 10 

My Review of House Of 1000 Corpses

 

Written And Directed by Rob Zombie 

Otis: "It's all true. The bogeyman is real and you found him."

It's less than a fortnight to Halloween and I found myself revisiting this one late last night. It's the first in a trilogy centred on a depraved family of serial killers and a taste of the kind of filmmaker that Rob Zombie would turn out to be.

I'll admit that Zombie's tastes are often trashy for my liking and there's definitely moments in this film that I found pretty cringe in pastts but as a debut, it's not without it's merit.

Our unfortunate victims are a group consisting of Jerry Goldsmith (Chris Hardwick), Bill Hudley (Rainn Wilson), Mary Knowles (Jennifer Jordyn), and Denise Willis (Erin Daniels). They chose Halloween of all nights to go and explore the legend of Dr. Satan (Walter Phelan). Local clown Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig) took delight in messing with them. He'd also be the least of their problems.

Having the misfortune of encountering the rather foul mouthed Baby Firefly (Sheri Moon Zombie) would put these four into severe harm's way. If Baby was too much to handle, then the rest of her family - Mother Firefly (Karen Black), adopted brother Otis Driftwood (Bill Moseley), half brother Tiny (Matthew McGrory), Rufus (Robert Allen Mukesh) and Grandpa Hugo (Dennis Fimple) would only make things so much worse.

We're barely halfway into the film where the Firefly family have kidnapped and terrorised cheerleaders, murdered cops and turned Bill into a grotesque Fiji Mermaid and they almost got off easily. Jerry, Mary and Denise have their suffering prolonged as the Firefly family upped the sadism and even revealed the true story behind Dr. Satan.

This isn't a movie where a survivor would emerge. Mary got brutally stabbed and Jerry ended up being vivisected. Denise almost escaped until she didn't and her fate at the hands of Dr Satan and Earl (Jake McKinnon) sure as Hel looked bleak as anything.

- Although it was necessary to the film, I did find the cutting to the film bits rather annoying at times.

- The movie would spawn two very different sequels in The Devil's Rejects and 3 From Hell that would expand on the Firefly family.

- Standout music: Rob Zombie's Everybody Scream!

- Chronology: October 30th and 31st 1977.

House Of 1000 Corpses certainly set the bar for the aesthetic Rob Zombie would go for as a director. There's moments of brilliance, there's a homage to grislier horror of old and certain moments that you'd question the man's taste but it's a rather good debut nonetheless.

Rating: 7 out of 10