Written & Directed by Rob Zombie
Dr. Loomis: "The darkest souls are not those which choose to exist within the hell of the abyss, but those which choose to move silently among us."
My journey into the world of Michael Myers was always going to lead me into the abyss and after the daftness of reality television fodder, it was to go back to the actual beginning with a remake of the first ever movie. Of all the people the studios could've picked to bring Michael's original story to the 21st century, Rob Zombie clearly wasn't the person they should've gone for but unfortunately for us all, he's the one they put a punt on to revitalise Michael.
This seems to be a movie of two halves. The first half being a needlessly long expansion of Michael's (Daeg Faerch) childhood, only this time, it's less of a suburban setting and more of a trashier one as his stripper mother Deborah (Sheri Moon Zombie) tolerates abuse from her useless partner Ronnie (William Forsythe) while older daughter Judith (Hanna R. Hall) is more interested in copping off with her boyfriend than actually taking her younger brother trick or treating.
On one fatal Halloween, Michael finally snaps and begins the day by murdering his bully (Darryl Sabara) before killing Judith, her boyfriend and Ronnie and then spending the next decade and a bit locked up under the care of Dr Samuel Loomis (Malcolm McDowell) while Deborah upon realising her middle child is beyond help kills herself while the adult Michael (Tyler Mane) breaks free and goes on a new killing spree.
The first hour of this movie really could've been condensed by half the time it took to get to Michael breaking loose and killing and it would've been one of many things that could've actually improved this movie as there a few of Michael's victims here that illicit any sympathy at all if we're being honest here.
As for the second half of the movie - it feels like a half remembered version of the original movie as Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor Compton) and her friends Annie Brackett (Danielle Harris) and Lynda Van Der Klok (Kristina Klebe) find themselves menaced by the heavy breathing and in some moments actually speaking menace.
I will grudgingly give Zombie some credit here for one thing - Annie survives this movie and it's a good thing because while the acting is mostly okay in parts for this pointless remake, Danielle Harris is by far the best performer in this entire dreck fest. Scout Taylor Compton is serviceable enough as Laurie and any actress would've been unfairly compared to Jamie Lee Curtis but she's let down by some shoddy writing and Zombie's insistence in trying to make Laurie a little more abrasive than she was in the original movie. Even the boogeyman bit gets ruined here.
- Originally Zombie wanted to do an origin movie for Michael Myers, which explains the first half of this saga.
- Tyler Mane is the tallest actor to play Michael Myers so far and one of three to have played the role twice following George P. Wilbur but preceding Nick Castle.
- Danielle Harris previously played Jamie Lloyd in the fourth and fifth movies.
- Chronology: Late 1990s at the start of the movie before moving into 2007 for the main event.
Yup, Halloween is not a great remake. There are a few fleeing moments that aren't entirely awful (Zombie does have a good ear for music for certain scenes) but it completely misses the point of what made the original movie such an enduring classic and in parts is needlessly crass for it's own good. I'm amazed it did so well as I do think had this been released in 2018 it would've royally tanked and deservedly so. Mostly an awful remake.
Rating: 4 out of 10
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