My Review of American Horror Story: 13 - Hell No

 

Written by Ned Martel And Charlie Carver 

Directed by Crystle Roberson Dorsey 

Cordelia (to Fiona/Marie/Papa Legba): "United we will defeat the Devil himself."

With only five episodes left to go, you'd think so, wouldn't you? Then again, it's the Devil and no matter how Avengers this season will get, there needs to be some major casualties. Cordelia going on about so much death should have some actual weight to it.

I liked how this episode started with Fiona and Cordelia actually bonding with each other. Being in Hell really seems to have given Fiona much to think about in regards to her past actions. For now, it does seem like she genuinely wants to help save the Coven against the Devil.

I'm glad this episode wasted no time in having the Coven realise they're up against the Devil and that Cordelia took the steps to fight fire with fire. Cordelia's trip to Hell and her scenes with Papa Legba (Orlando Jones) was brilliant. They both gave it their all but Cordelia had her trump card against Legba.

Papa wasn't pleased about Fiona being plucked out of Hell and less pleased when she stood up to him as well. In fact, he was outright furious with Cordelia and Fiona but also afraid of pissing off Satan himself. Saying that, it didn't stop him from suggesting Marie Laveux (Angela Bassett) being added into the mix, but only if someone volunteered to go to Hell.

This was where Queenie stepped back into the horrors of fast food service and who did she have to deal with? Yup, Madame Delphine Lalaurie (Kathy Bates) herself and while the latter's nastier racism was dialled down, Delphine was still a bit of a Karen in Hell. Queenie's method of dealing with Lalaurie was delightfully satisfying to watch. These last two episodes have been excellent for Queenie in general.

Now, where the episode lost some points for me was Fiona and Marie's banter. Marie in particular was almost too hostile to Fiona and Cordelia and it felt like the writers wanted to write some bitchy one liners for a moment where it wasn't earned. It was a good thing that Papa Legba got them all to focus on the problem at hand.

- I can't get over Kathy Bates getting her name in the opening credits this season and this was the only scene she ended up shooting.

- I really didn't like Morwenna blaming Voodoo, even if I could see why she leapt to such a conclusion.

- Myrtle got a mention as Cordelia apparently bit her as a child. Myrtle should be back next week.

- Of course this season was going to recreate the "knotty pine" moment. Points to it having Fiona trapped in an actual maze I guess.

- Is Queenie really Cordelia's favourite? That's actually really nice. Zoe and Misty aren't getting mentioned, are they?

- Chronology: From where the previous episode left off.

Hell No certainly had it's moments and returns and callbacks galore. To be slightly controversial here, I do hope that the rest of the season doesn't have the Coven drown out the Apollyon story and that there's a good balance between both as they will inevitably intersect from next week onwards.

Rating: 7 out of 10

My Review of American Horror Story: 13 - The Baddest Witch Of Them All

Written by Ned Martel And Charlie Carver 

Directed by Alfonso Gomez-Rejon 

Fiona (to James): "In case you missed my point, I'm the baddest witch of them all and I don't need to dirty my hands with the likes of you."

For those who love the Coven side of things, this week's double bill certainly should've kept you well and truly fed. At the end of the previous episode, Cordelia Goode was absolutely dead. She remained that way for most of this episode to boot.

With Cordelia taken out, someone had to step up and take over things. Not the next Supreme but Madison certainly embraced a leadership role like it came naturally to her. She got Morwenna to work on Cordelia and then she paired off Queenie and Coco and Mallory with Ophelia.

Madison seemed to have some good instincts but it also didn't stop her from becoming Jeffrey Dahmer's first female victim. It's kind of funny that Madison died but also was revived a lot quicker than Cordelia. There was something oddly satisfying in how Queenie dealt with Dahmer, even in the midst of some very clunky dialogue.

Seeing the witches take on Zodiac and the Night Stalker had it's moments. Mallory in particular had a lot of rage towards Ramirez and used a certain trick of hers to give him his just desserts. Queenie's method for dealing with Zodiac also saw a use for Coco's power set as well.

Now, as good as Madison and company were with causing problems for the Cortez Devils, they weren't the reason those baddies were defeated. Nope, the much welcomed return of Fiona Goode (Jessica Lange) saw them all die quickly and horribly. Fiona got some good lines with James Patrick March before he was dispatched.

Leaving Fiona until the last five minutes was a smart move. She dominated the moment she stepped into the frame, made her presence well and truly felt and then she brought Cordelia back from the dead. Now, it's on to the mother/daughter reunion we've been waiting for this season.

- Even in the midst of a serious attack, both Madison and Fiona had time to smoke and even pass a cigarette to one another.

- I had to side eye the obvious reference to a certain Netflix show that Queenie didn't watch.

- Mallory telling Ophelia to keep the time travelling secret annoyed me. Mallory is gonna have to confess about that pretty soon.

- Coco's powers are so odd to me and even to watch them but the sugar spike her and Queenie subjected Zodiac to was executed well.

- Standout music: James Patrick March really does have lovely piano playing skills.

- Chronology: From where the previous episode left off.

The Baddest Witch Of Them All was the middle part of what should've been a trilogy. It presented a united Coven, the badass return of Fiona Goode and the demise of the Cortez Devils. It's not hard to see why this and the next one have been so well received.

Rating: 8 out of 10

My Review of Dracula (2025)

 

Written And Directed by Luc Benson

Vlad: "Do you think God will forgive us for loving each other so much?"

Elisabeta: "God is love. He understands. And if he doesn't - he can go to hell."

Did anyone want a French remake of Bram Stoker's Dracula? Well, even if you didn't, that's exactly what this movie more or less amounted to. 

It might sound like I'm complaining but I'm actually not. Well, not really. First of all, point to Caleb Landry Jones because he's one of the actors that I never would've considered for the role of Dracula but he's a very good choice here.

The movie started off with Vlad the Impaler. He's besotted with his lady love, Elisabeta (Zoë Bleu). He's off to fight the Ottoman Army and while that happened, Elisabeta tragically died and Vlad denounced his own religion and became Dracula.

Cut to the next four hundred years where Dracula was working over time to find a reincarnated version of his beloved. Of course that would happen upon eventually coming into contact with Mina Murray (Zoë Bleu). However, it's his interactions with Jonathan Harker (Ewens Abid).

I love that Jonathan managed to avoid death by getting Dracula to talk about his love life. It certainly bought Jonathan enough time to escape as Dracula made the moves on Mina. Again, there's solid enough chemistry between the two of them.

Throw in some familiar characters but renamed - Dumont (Guillaume de Tonquédec), Maria (Matilda De Angelis), The Priest (Christoph Waltz) and Henry Spencer (David Shields) and you've got the usuals aiding or trying to stop Dracula. The conclusion isn't new but it's executed well.

- Those CGI gargoyles that were assisting Dracula looked rubbish but funny. 

- They really styled the aged up Dracula exactly like Gary Oldman's version.

- Standout music: Frederic Chopin's Nocturne No15 in F minor Op55 No1 DG.

- Chronology: 1480 AD Eastern Europe and 1889 Paris, France.

Dracula (2025) isn't the most innovative of takes of the infamous Count but it's engaging enough with a strong performance from Caleb Landry Jones and solid direction from Luc Besson.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of Practical Magic 2 (2026)

 

Written by Akiva Goldsman And Georgia Pritchett And Kelly Marcel

Directed by Susanne Bier

Sally: "Here's the thing about magic. It won't be silenced."

This era of legacy sequels has now extended to 1990s movies that didn't do well in theatres but gained a cult following over time. While the Hocus Pocus sequel eschewed theatres and went straight to Disney+, Practical Magic 2 risked theatres with middling results.

Once again, we've got the Owens sisters - the extremely overcautious Sally (Sandra Bullock) and the fun loving Gillian (Nicole Kidman). Between movies, Sally lost her lover and stupidly decided to wipe her daughters - Kylie (Joey King) and Antonia's (Maisie Williams) memories of their powers. Needless to say, it was a decision that she would regret.

The birthday of Great Aunt Jet (Dianne Wiest) brought about the death of the dotty auntie and her funeral also had Kylie's lovely boyfriend Gideon (Xolo Mariduena) introduce himself to the rest of the family. Then Gideon ended up in a coma and both Antonia and other aunt Franny (Stockard Channing) would be confined to keeping him alive.

The rest of the movie had Kylie learn she was a witch, steal a left Book of Shadows and take a trip to England in order to save Gideon's life. This plot also put Kylie right in the hands of the movie's villain, Tom Lockland (Solly McLeod). Turned out he was an abandoned member of the Owens who needed Kylie to get his own power set.

Villain wise, Tom's generally okay. On the plus side, he isn't written as a straw misogynist but he's still rather underdeveloped as a baddie. It might have worked better had been part of a group of villains to pose a real threat to the Owens clan.

A slightly better new male character was Professor Ian Wright (Lee Pace). He's mostly helpful to both Sally and Gillian and there's a genuine spark between Ian and Sally that went exactly as expected. The whole movie ended on a note that seemed to imply none of the women no longer living in fear of a certain family curse.

- In the book, Antonia was a lesbian. That's not touched upon here. Franny also died towards the end of the film.

- Based on the 2021 book, The Book Of Magic.

- Standout music: Miriam Makeba's Pata Pata.

- Chronology: Supposedly 28 years since the first movie but that can't be right, considering that Kylie and Antonia are in their twenties. Also set in Massachusetts.

I wasn't sure I was going to like this but Practical Magic 2 turned out to be a rather pleasant sequel. Both Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman slipped into their roles and Joey King and Maisie Williams are good additions. The villain's underdeveloped though.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of Insidious: Out Of The Further (2026)

Written by David Leslie Johnson-McGoldrick And Jacob Chase

Directed by Jacob Chase

Elise: "If the dead rise, it'll be the end of the living."

This year, I started this particular horror franchise and nearly two months later since it's released, I've managed to catch up with the latest instalment.

I do wonder if there was a genuine regret in killing off Lin Shaye's Elise Rainier. It's safe to say that she's been the glue to this franchise and her centrepiece movies were somewhat the strongest in the franchise.

She's not entirely the centre of this latest one but her presence once again was both welcomed and felt organic enough to proceedings. The focus of course was on single mother and dental hygienist, Gemma Hall (Amelia Eve). Gemma's a fairly easy character to root for her.

The film opened up with her as a child (Charli Penton) witnessing the death of her mother, Ingrid (Laura Gordon). In the present day, Gemma's the only parent to Maya (Island Austin) and was dating a hunky cop named Nick Mendoza (Brandon Perea). Nick's also an extremely likable character.

The movie itself had Cyrus Lamb (Sam Spruell) trying to get out of the further by trying to use Maya as a vessel in order to get into the real world. Gemma's lucky to have her boyfriend, the assistance of Elise and of course, Clare (Maisie Richardson-Sellers). The latter in particular turned out to be a rather entertaining character to watch.

As a villain, Cyrus Lamb was a decent enough challenge for everyone concerned. His followers are also rather effective and there's a good sense of terror during the third act. Cyrus did make a strong impression in this franchise's growing list of villains.

- Keyface (Jasper Cleary) and Lipstick-Face Demon (Joseph Bishara) both appeared in the film. Doll Girl, Bride In Black and The Man Who Can't Breathe also appeared.

- Both Tucker and Specs sat this one out while the Lamberts were referenced.

- Standout music: Joy's How Come.

- Chronology: 1999 and 2019, Pittsburgh.

Insidious: Out Of The Further turned out to be another good instalment in this franchise. There's strong performances from everyone, including Amelia Eve . Looking forward to the next one.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

Doctor Who: Animated Spin-Off Has A Title/Tender Heats Up

It's a good job that I held off posting anything in relation to Doctor Who because in less than a day, two major news items surfaced in relation to the show's future.

First of all, that animated show (52 episodes, 11 minutes long each) has the title of Doctor Who: TARDIS Crew and will premiere on CBeebies from late 2027. The plot for the show has also been revealed.

Doctor Who: TARDIS Crew follows the Doctor, a young Time Lord, as he travels in his time travelling machine called the TARDIS with his friends Hannah, Beastie, and Toast-IE. They encounter several new worlds as well as villains like the Daleks.

I got to be honest. While I accept that it's aimed for kids, that animation looks horrible to me. I hope it lands for the intended audience.

Meanwhile for the actual show itself. There's Russell T. Davies providing more context for his recent era, following the release of his new book this month. I can't say he's really doing himself any favours in that regard.

There's also the fact that Jed Mercurio, the man behind series such as Line Of Duty and The Bodyguard has made a pitch for the show with Hat Trick Mercurio. STV Studios have also pitched and this would take future filming for the show to Scotland. Other pitches include two separate BBC Studios and World Productions.

This is excellent news and hopefully it'll mean that Doctor Who will be back sooner than expected. I'm rooting for Jed Mercurio as of now.

I'll post more updates as they come. 

My Review of For Your Eyes Only (1981)

 

Written by Richard Maibaum And Michael G. Wilson

Directed by John Glen

James Bond: "Oh, by the way, we haven't been properly introduced, Melina. My name is Bond, James Bond."

Took a tiny break but now I'm back into the Roger Moore era of James Bond and it seems like a return to basic was the order of the day. After the more science oriented Moonraker, that was probably for the best.

Once again, 007 has got himself into a pickle. The way this movie, he was on the brink of death. There's a bald guy in a wheelchair played by John Hollis who attempted to kill Bond. Of course this ended horribly for him in a scene that was unintentionally very cartoonish in it's execution.

There's also the death of two marine biologists and it's their daughter, Melina Havelock (Carole Bouquet) who got to be the Bond girl in this film. There's decent enough chemistry between her and Roger Moore and of course, as expected, this film ended with the two of them in throes of passion. 

The villain itself, Aristotle Kristatos (Julian Glover) had an interesting trajectory here. He started seemingly as an ally to Bond before his true colours were revealed. His scheme involved planning to expand his fortune by selling the ATAC to the KGB. It was pretty straightforward enough as a plot.

There's also characters such as Hector Gonzalez (Aris Kristatos), Milos Columbo (Chaim Topol), Bibi Dahl (Lynn-Holly Johnson) Emile Leopold Locque (Michael Gothard), and Lisl, The Countess Von Schlaf (Cassandra Harris). All of whom are given sizeable amount of screen time and helped move the story along at a brisk enough pace.

- Charles Dance appeared in this film as Claus, who was the right hand man for Locques. Janet Brown and John Wells played Margaret and Dennis Thatcher respectively.

- The bald guy at the start was clearly meant to be Blofeld, wasn't he?

- Standout music: Sheena Easton's For Your Eyes Only.

- Chronology: Set in Greece and Spain.

For Your Eyes Only did take things somewhat back to basics and it's a fairly basic as a Bond adventure. I didn't love this but I didn't hate it either. It's okay I guess.

Rating: 6 out of 10 

My Review of Lanterns: "Dirt And Stars"

 

Written by Chris Mundy And Damon Lindelof And Tom King 

Directed by Alik Sakharov 

John: "In Brightest day. In Darkest night. I'll embrace my fear. I'll do what's right. I choose the ring. I choose this fight. In service to this lantern's light."

Well, this was a finale, now wasn't it? For those wanting the big CGI battle, this was not the episode for you. For those who wanted John Stewart in his suit, this was not the episode for you. For those who wanted definite answers behind Hal Jordan's death, this one's for you.

Now, whether you like the answer remains to be seen. I'm not sure I entirely do myself. Hal's definitely dead and his killer was Kerry Kane. That slightly disappointed me. Though she accidentally kill Hal upon panicking about Noah's identity being made public.

Yup, turned out that Noah's a Manhunter and he wanted to avenge Zoe's death. He actually healed Hal when the latter got burned in a house fire but Hal's snooping into Noah venturing into that desert planet certainly put Hal in the firing line. 

Noah did show some actual conflict here. He took the fall for Hal's death in order to protect Kerry but he needn't have bothered. John did nothing to actually bring Kerry to justice. She did feel bad for what she did and that was it to be honest. 

Anyways, the rest of the episode had Sinestro trying to turn John and Halogram against one another but he forged a Lantern for John to charge the ring. The actual goodbye between John and Hal was pretty effective though.

There was also a nice scenes between both John and Guy where the former made it clear to the latter he won't be answering to the Guardians. John also created his own oath, which did feel right thematically for him. 

- Considering the ratings for the show, expect a second season announcement pretty soon.

- John's family took in Earl the plant. It's the least they could do, considering their role in John and Hal's conflict.

- Noah admitted to wanting to continue playing football and starting a family.

- Quick reminder that we will see John Stewart in Man Of Tomorrow, which will be in theatres from July 9th 2027.

- Standout music: Michael Kiwanuka's Hero.

- Chronology: I'm assuming this will be the last we see of Rushville. Hopefully next season implements more of Oa.

Dirt And Stars opted for the low key and measured efforts for a finale. I'd say, I was satisfied enough with this one. Season 2 honestly can't come quick enough.

Rating: 8 out of 10 

My Review of The Uprising (2026)

 

Written And Directed by Paul Greengrass

Ploughman: "I am no soldier. I am no priest. I'm just a farmer."

When is a movie about a historical figure not about said figure? When the movie in question didn't want audiences to know who their leading man was playing. Funny that. 

Spoiler alert: It's heavily implied by the end of this film during a particular volatile confrontation that Andrew Garfield was playing Robin Hood all along. Why the movie decided to keep that a secret until the last minute was a baffling choice.

For the majority of the film, Garfield was Ploughman and he was a man who lost his family and somewhat kick started the beginning of a peasants revolt against the King Richard II of England (Woody Norman). The young King was something of a merciless little shit.

Throughout the movie, the King only showed more cruelty and misery towards the peasants that not only did Ploughman try to make a stand against him but so did John Ball (Jamie Bell) and Wat Tyler (Cosmo Jarvis).

Both men are given as much screen time as Garfield's Ploughman and they're engaging enough to watch as the revolt escalated in many deaths. Tyler's death in particular really escalated the final act, which lead to Ploughman's real identity being revealed.

I actually think the reveal of Ploughman being Robin Hood was the best part of the movie, following his wrathful determination to be a living nightmare for King Richard II. It's a brilliant note to end an otherwise average 14th century movie.

- They did actually and very briefly retitle this film, The Uprising: The Rise Of Robin Hood. It didn't help that the Hugh Jackman movie also came out around the same time.

- There's some good supporting roles from Tom Hollander, Thomasin McKenzie, Stephen Dillane, Jonny Lee Miller and Katherine Waterson

- Standout music: Volker Bertlemann's Our Land.

- Chronology: 1381 England.

The Uprising (2026) might have fumbled it's marketing by not presenting itself as a Robin Hood tale but it's a movie that definitely got better in its second half and delivered the reveal in quite a satisfying way.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of Buddy (2026)

 

Written by Casper Kelly And Jamie King

Directed by Casper Kelly

Freddy: "I hate Buddy, yes I do. I hate, I hate, I hate you. Stab your heart and kick your knee. Buddy, you're my enemy. Get an axe, chop off your head. I wish you were fucking dead!"

How about a horror film in which a popular 90s children tv icon got changed enough so the makers of this movie wouldn't get sued? Seems reasonable enough, huh?

Instead of a purple dinosaur, let's look at orange unicorn Buddy (Keegan Michael-Key) and his popular TV show Its Buddy. It's a feel good kind of world, as long as you do everything that Buddy asks of you.

If you're a child who doesn't feel like dancing or you ask too many questions, then Buddy's got a not so friendly side to his colourful personality that's all too bloody. Also if you happen to be a parent of a child you forgot about, you're the closest to an adult threat to Buddy's perfect world.

This would be where Grace (Cristin Milioti) fitted into the story. She turned out to be the real mother of child protagonist Freddy (Delaney Quinn) and while her husband, Ben (Topher Grace) was quick to dismiss her concern, Grace ended up being reunited with her daughter in a very violent children's world.

Yes, the violence I think would be a tiny step above the average segment of an Itchy And Scratchy sketch. Buddy had a very gleeful disregard for those who even mildly annoyed him and his true form was anything but cute.

I wouldn't say he's the scariest baddie but he's an effective menace as Grace, Freddy and other characters did their best to stay alive and Buddy's reign of terror. The ending was more unexpected than I thought it would be as well.

- There's some strong supporting performances from Patton Oswalt, Michael Shannon and Eric Bauza.

- There are eighteen kills with over half of them being human ones.

- Standout music: Tiny Lyn's The Wrong Place In Town.

- Chronology: Freddy was missing for years and her existence wiped from Grace and Ben until Grace started to remember her.

Buddy (2026) could've simply been a lazy horror pastiche of a certain purple dinosaur but it decided to try and be a bit more than that. It's a surprisingly effecting movie with strong performances from everyone involved.

Rating: 7 out of 10