My Review of 13 Ghosts (1960)

 

Written by Robb White

Directed by William Castle 

Buck: "You really are a witch, aren't you?"

Elaine: "Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies."

I opted for some 1960s horror last night and went for this one. It was something of an interesting choice. A family inherit a house and some of the former occupants still linger around the place. As they do.

The family in question are Cyrus Zorba (Donald Woods), his wife Hilda (Rosemary DeCamp) as well as their children Medea (Jo Morrow) and Buck aka Arthur (Charles Herbert). The house was bequeathed to them by Cyrus's deceased uncle, Dr. Plato Zorba and came with a maid named Elaine Zacharides (Margaret Hamilton).

For most of this movie, Buck assumed that Elaine was a witch and she did nothing to correct him on the matter. In fact, she went out of her way to confirm his assumptions. At the very least, she was involved in occult activities with Plato and lawyer Benjamin Rush (Martin Milner). Yup, this was a house full of ghosts.

The one who seemed the most perceptive to the ghosts was Buck himself and he took great delight in telling his parents about the ghosts in question. There's also a subplot involving missing money that Plato had, which had Benjamin working with Buck to try and find the money. There's also a rather half baked romantic subplot with Benjamin and Medea that added little to proceedings.

Anyways the ghosts themselves are a lively enough lot. There's thirteen of them as the title promised and it's up to Elaine to try and keep them in line. Of course, it was the deceitful Benjamin that became the thirteenth ghost after his treachery and attempts to kill Buck came about. 

As for the ghosts, I liked that the ending implied they weren't gone and that only Buck and Elaine were aware of that. Buck in particular seemed rather gleeful about the idea of them sticking around. The last scene with Elaine ended it on a suitable note.

- William Castle provided the opening and closing moments trying to convince audiences that ghosts were real. He convinced me.

- There's a 2001 remake of this movie that I intend to watch later this month.

- I liked the use of the blue and red filters at different points in the film to confirm the ghosts.

- Chronology: Set during a few days upon Cyrus and his fsmily moving into that house.

Not the spookiest ghost story I've seen but 13 Ghosts certainly made for a strong supernatural horror fest. If William Castle can't convince you of the existence of ghosts, then no one will. 

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of The Sheep Detectives (2026)

 

Written by Craig Mazin

Directed by Kyle Balda

Lily (to the flock): "Our shepherd was murdered! And we shall solve the crime!"

What would happen if you traded Babe for sheep and threw them into a Knives Out style adventure? You'd get this absolute delight of a movie and be happy for it.

Hugh Jackman has played many an interesting role in his career but we can add shepherd George Hardy to that list. He's a simple who had testy relationships with various people in his village but enjoyed nothing more than reading detective stories to his sheep. Then he's murdered and it's up to his flock to solve his murder

Yup, that's the premise of this movie. What about George's flock then? They're sort of led by Shetland sheep Lily (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) but there also Cloud (Regina Hall), Sebastian (Bryan Cranston), Sir Richfield (Patrick Stewart), Mopple (Chris O'Dowd), Zora (Bella Ramsay), twins Reggie and Ronnie (Brett Goldstein) and Wool Eyes (Rhys Darby). There was also young lambs such as Daisy (Aroop Shergill), Oliver (Jasper Ambrose) and Pickle (Ishi Agrawal). Not to mention a winter lamb (Tommy Birchall) that was the outside of the group.

What about the actual humans of the movie? Well, you have got a somewhat well meaning but bumbling local police officer named Tim Derry (Nicholas Braun). It was up to him to solve George's murder but he really needed assistance of the woolly kind and I mean he needed it a lot. It did take him a while to get a clue.

Looking at the suspects, it was kind of obvious that journalist Elliot Matthews (Nicholas Galitzine) would turn out to be the killer as well as George's long lost son. Even I knew that long lost daughter Rebecca Hampstead (Molly Gordon) would be innocent in spite of the evidence initially against her along with Lily not believing her at first. The winter lamb on the other hand believed in Rebecca's innocence from the get go.

The rest of the human characters took fun turns. Fellow shepherd Caleb Merrow (Tosin Cole) initially seemed like a nice guy but was in cahoots with local butcher Ham Gilyard (Conleith Hill). The Reverend Hillcoate (Kobna Holdbrook-Smith) had a guilty conscience but helped George for a price while standoffish innkeeper Beth Pennock (Hong Chau) harboured feelings for George he didn't reciprocate.

It's a good mix of of fun but flawed characters. All of whom did present as reasonable upon the reveal that George had sold a patent for curing sheep that was worth millions. Throw in a fun supporting role from Emma Thompson as George's lawyer, Lydia Harbottle and a good time was had here.

- The winter lamb was eventually named George by Lily. Lily was named after the human George's dead wife.

- Rebecca not only kept her father's land and sheep but she also bought Caleb's sheep as well. The Sheep believed they could turn into clouds.

- Standout music: The Proclaimers I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles).

- Chronology: Set in the English village of Denbrook. Rebecca was in America and Elliot had been in South Africa before they arrived in Denbrook.

I really enjoyed this one. The Sheep Detectives was so much fun with a great voice cast and a great human cast to boot. It's genuinely funny, it's genuinely good natured and sweet and while I figured out who the killer was early on, building to the reveal was expertly handled.

Rating: 8 out of 10 

Doctor Who - Christmas Cancelled + Show Tendered

This was not the blog post I wanted to be writing today but alas, here we are.

The moment has been kinda prepared for.

The BBC confirmed several important things today in relation to the show's future.

• Christmas special has been officially cancelled and there was no script in place. 
• Russell T. Davies and Bad Wolf Productions have exited the show.
• The show will be put out to tender with further details to be confirmed in due course.
• The animated show for CBBC will still be going ahead.

Where do I begin with this one? I hate to admit it, but I sort of saw it coming. The last few weeks were giving no progress on the Christmas special and RTD seemed reticent to talk about the show at all. I had hoped that maybe the special would be delayed until Easter 2027 but being cancelled, I'm not gonna lie - it's a genuine disappointment and the first time in very long time, it does feel like the show could be danger of not coming back for a long time. I'm not sure if RTD's Instagram post offered much reassurance either.

Over the last few years, Doctor Who has undeniably divided audiences with many creative choices. Whether it's things like bigeneration, the Timeless Child or the show's hit and miss handling of societal topics, for a good portion of the audience, the show has simply stopped being fun. I've liked some stuff in recent years but even I can't defend a lot of the more controversial choices that have negatively impacted the show and driven away casual audiences.

When the show comes back, it needs to strike a good balance between being educational but also entertaining and accessible to a wider audience. Everything is going to be key - a new streaming partner, a new show runner as well as casting and so on. Either the show will come back in a blaze of glory or it really will be the end for now.

I'll always talk about the show on here whenever I can. That's not gonna change. Allonsy.

My Review of Tip Toe: "Episode 5"

 

Written by Russell T. Davies

Directed by Peter Hoar 

Leo (to Stephanie): "I think something bigger is coming."

I was dreading watching this episode and for good reason. I knew it was the one where Leo was going to die and I knew that it was going to be Clive's fault and make no mistake here, it's 100% Clive's fault. Not Leo's and not Zee's as I've seen some online say.

Yes, it was a bad idea for Leo to step into Clive's house when tensions were still there and there were inebriated football hooligans in the mix. Zee's heart was in the right place but she shouldn't have pressured Leo to go into that house.

Again, the blame solely should be on Clive and those hooligans, including the absolutely deplorable Roddy. The latter outed George to everyone, outed Saul as a sex worker and even tried to humiliate Clive for the latter helping Regime. Roddy instigated everything and brought out the absolute worst in Clive.

Prior to Leo's death, there was a point exchange between him and Stephanie. The latter pointed out Leo's habit of treating others like they're idiots and she wasn't entirely wrong. Leo overestimated Clive and those hooligans and everything went to shit so badly.

I had to turn away when the actual murder took place itself. I've seen enough depictions like that in movies and television but this was certainly brutal to watch. The hate from Clive, Roddy and those lads. The horror in Leo's final moments. The devastation that Saul, Zee and Stephanie had. Even Marie, George and that neighbour's reaction as well. That moment floored me.

I will say that RTD's angrier political leanings were handled brilliantly with this show. He's not wrong about the growing sentiment of homophobia, transphobia and so on and even that final flashback with Leo and Stephanie reinforced what Melba has said in the first episode.

- Clive and Roddy got life sentences, the other lads got shorter sentences. Marie moved away with Saul and George.

- Saul eventually married and had three kids while George got hooked on drugs. Zee became a teacher and named herself Sarah.

- Curtis sold Spit & Polish, which became a pizzeria while Stephanie travelled and Melba was grief stricken by Leo's death.

- We didn't find out what happened to Mikey, Hanna and Judy and we didn't get to see their reactions to Leo's death.

- Standout music: M83's Solitude.

- Chronology: The day of Leo's death along with the flashback being set two years beforehand.

What an incredible finale. Absolutely devastating piece of television with utterly sublime performances from everyone involved. Give it all the awards.

Rating: 9 out of 10 

My Review of Tip Toe: "Episode 4"

 

Written by Russell T. Davies

Directed by Peter Hoar 

Leo (to Clive): "If I have to live next door to you, I am scared. If that's what you think of me, I am so scared. You ... You terrify me."

That overwhelming sense of dread I've been feeling with this show. Not helped with that opening scene with a terrified Leo, Stephanie and Zee/Flo trying to protect themselves from a bunch of football louts before thr inevitable happened.

Going back to recent events though, there was the issue of Clive being in Leo's house and wanting answers about both George and Saul but mainly the former. It took Clive almost an eternity to realise that Leo had done nothing inappropriate towards George and even then, Clive still had that trace of doubt in his mind.

I loved watching Leo challenge Clive's idiotic prejudices at every turn throughout the episode. I especially Leo berating Clive for making him and every gay man having to tip toe around straight men. Once again, there was moments where it felt like Clive could've maybe had his mind opened.

He listened to Leo's story about how gay men can't change back to being straight and the gay lads who took their own lives during COVID. Clive being a denier of that and HIV wasn't a shock to me but I loved Leo raking him over the coals for it. It felt like he was almost getting through to Clive.

Clive didn't blow up on George for being gay or Saul webcamming. He even went to Spit & Polish to try and understand the gay world. He even stepped up to defend Regime/Martin after the latter was attacked. Leo's many outbursts even seemed to get through to him. Then that one social media message likely set everything back.

It was risky of Zee/Flo to contact George the way she did but the upside was the latter getting to interact with queer people closer to his own age and getting a chance to be himself. George even got to help Zee in picking a name for herself. She chose Flo by the way. It's just too bad that Beryl sent that image when she did. That was such a misguided thing for her to do.

- I liked that Saul doesn't care that Mikey shamelessly flirts with him. It was kind of sweet that he invited Mikey to hang out with his friends.

- Both Judy and Stephanie warned Leo to move house. Leo didn't listen to them. We also met Stephanie's daughter.

- Leo talked about meeting Curtis when he was 44. I hated that Clive tried to use Curtis to make a point to Leo.

- Clive almost got off to one of Regime's videos before stopping himself. Marie spotted the word "Flo" on George's back.

- Standout music: Madison Beer's yes baby and Livin' Joy's Dreamer.

- Chronology: A day before the events of that scene and then the day itself.

This was one hell of a penultimate episode and I'm almost hesitant to watch the finale, knowing what's going to happen to Leo. Saying that, I got to see this one through.

Rating: 8 out of 10 

My Review of Tip Toe: "Episode 3"

 

Written by Russell T. Davies

Directed by Peter Hoar 

Clive (to police officers): "This isn't a murder, it's an execution."

Opening with a line as chilling as that certainly put Clive under a more intense spotlight. Leo died and Clive surrendered himself to the police while showing no remorse for his neighbour's death. This episode really was David Morrissey's from start to finish.

I went through various emotions watching Clive in this one. There was a flashback to his teenage years in a garage band showing that Clive had creative aspirations at one point in his life. Then the episode moved back into recent events.

It turned out that Clive bullied a former co-worker and made himself unemployable on a site. Clive's way of dealing with that was needlessly vindictive. That was one of a few things that made me dislike him throughout the episode.

Back in the first episode, we learned that Clive cheated on Marie with a woman named Patricia. This episode revealed that he never did when he almost cheated on Marie with a woman named Diane (Denise Welch). Diane seemed to share similar world views to Clive but ultimately she has the sense not to go there with him.

Clive and Marie's miserable state of limbo led to some great scenes in the episode but once things circled back to Clive and Leo catching George in Leo's house, we saw a rather ugly side to Marie. The way she spoke about Leo was genuinely sickening, even when George clarified that Leo did nothing to him. Marie was just as bad as Clive, maybe a tiny bit worse.

Things came to a head in the worst possible way. If ever there was a good case to delete your group chats, this episode demonstrated it. Not only did Clive find the texts between Leo and George (along with that voice note) but snooping on the Spit & Polish group chat, he's also aware of Saul's OnlyFans activities. That last scene between Leo and Clive left me with a sense of dread.

- I thought Stephanie might have been dead with Leo but Zee was comforting her at the start of the episode.

- I did find it daft that everyone assumed Leo called them "perverts" when he was right there. It took them a bit to realise the obvious.

- Mikey is cute but it was really stupid of him to post Saul's video to the group chat. Saul did have sex with a woman in one of his videos.

- Stephanie made some sensible points during her scenes with Leo, Melba, Zee, Mikey and Hanna. 

- Standout music: Buzzcocks Ever Fallen In Love.

- Chronology: 43 years in Clive's past and then picking up from the previous episode cliffhanger.

The third episode was certainly tense as fuck during those final ten minutes. I could feel the dread throughout with the more time Clive spent in Leo's house. This was definitely David Morrissey's episode and I had so many conflicting feelings for Clive.

Rating: 8 out of 10 

My Review of Scary Movie (2026)

 

Written by Marlon Wayans And Shawn Wayans And Keenen Ivory Wayans And Craig Wayans And Rick Alvarez

Directed by Michael Tiddes

Shorty: "We back!"

It's been thirteen years since the spectacular misfire that was Scary Movie 5 and twenty five years since the Wayans Brothwea had a hand in thr franchise they created. That's plenty of time to mine new material or recycle old jokes.

This franchise has never been politically correct and never will be. That often has been a mixed bag for the franchise as a whole. A few jokes here are funny enough. The majority of them however fail to stick the landing or feel a bit too try hard to be edgy in a way that doesn't work for 2026.

Anyways, the OGs - Cindy Campbell (Anna Faris), Brenda Meeks (Regina Hall), Shorty (Marlon Wayans) and Ray Wilkins (Shawn Wayans) are back. In unsurprising news, none of these characters have matured for the better.

Shorty's still weed obsessed but into cryptocurrency while Ray has been trying to literally pray the gay away. The latter led to a Sinners spoof. Cindy and Brenda have become mothers. Cindy had two daughters named Sara (Olivia Rose Keegan) and Tuesday (Savannah Lee Nassif). Brenda had twins named Brad (Gregg Wayans) and Dei (Sydney Park).

Throw in the likes of Jack (Cameron Scott Roberts), Val (Ruby Snowber) and Jess (Benny Zielke) and the groundwork for the movie would be to spoof Scream (2022) and Scream VI respectively. They were the obvious ones to do but let's add in a Ma version of Brenda and Halloween (2018) version of Cindy for shits and giggles as well.

Keeping with the returns both Ghostface/Officer Doofy (Dave Sheridan), Gail Hailstorm (Cheri Oteri) and Gregg (Lochlyn Munro) were also brought back. Three of them got killed off while one of them got The Substance (or the Stuff) and didn't live to enjoy the benefits of it. Oh and don't expect White Chicks 2 or do. Could go either way.

As for Act 3, yes it's a very biting commentary on the nature of succession and ultimately the rejection of it. It doesn't quite stick the landing and it's not as funny as it wanted to be either. So much for a new Core Four, huh?

- Other spoofs included Kpop Demon Hunters, Nosferatu (2024), Longlegs, Weapons, Smile, etc to name a few.

- I did find the Wayans getting their anger out on being removed from their own franchise rather pointed. Teyana Taylor and Carmen Electra popped up in the opening scene. There's a lot of cameos from previous movies in this one.

- Standout music: Lizzo and Sexy Redd's Messy and Redd's Hoes.

- Chronology: Over twenty years since we've last seen Cindy, Brenda, Shorty and Ray.

Scary Movie (2026) on one hand kind of proved to me that perhaps some things should be left in the past. On the other hand, the box office numbers have already guaranteed we're getting a seventh entry. It needed a lot more of Cindy and Brenda and a less of Shorty. 

Rating: 5 out of 10 

My Review of Masters Of The Universe (2026)

 

Written by Chris Butler And Aaron Nee And Adam Nee And David Callaham And Alex Litvak And Michael Finch

Directed by Travis Knight

Adam/He-Man: "By the power of Grayskull, I have the power."

Like a lot of people born in the 1980s, I did grow up with He-Man as a kid and when this movie was announced, I made the effort to go back and watch the 1987 movie, which wss something of a mixed bag. Would it be controversial to say this 2026 version might be better?

I'm not going to pretend that this will be the best blockbuster you'll see this summer but it's become in a long line of having an unfair campaign waged against it. At the bare minimum, it's a pretty serviceable fare that respected and had fun with the source material in equal measures.

Our protagonist Adam Glenn (Nicholas Galitzine) has lived an ordinary but not content life on Earth. He's also aware of the fact that he's a prince from Eternia and he's pretty assertive in trying to get back there. He doesn't care too much that a potential date, a romcom obsessed flatmate or his uptight boss disbelieve his stories. I liked that aspect of Adam.

I also liked that the movie didn't waste any time in justifying his beliefs when he actually managed to track down his misplaced sword. Adam also quickly reunited with former childhood friend and love interest, Teela (Camila Mendes) and her adopted father, Man-At-Arms (Idris Elba). The latter embodied the alcoholic warrior/comic relief trope.

The movie was smart to keep the majority of screen time in Eternia. It started with the Sorceress (Morena Baccarin) sending Adam to Earth with the sword while his parents King Randor (James Purefoy) and Marlena Glenn (Charlotte Riley) were killed by villain of the piece, Skeletor (Jared Leto). The next thing I'm about to say shocked even me but here goes.

For a while Jared Leto has been a low point in any major IP that's cast him but he's surprisingly decent as Skeletor. In fact, he's almost enjoyable in certain scenes he had with both Adam and right hand woman, Evil-Lyn (Alison Brie). The latter herself also being a rather competent secondary villain and foil for Teela.

The second half of the movie might have overplayed a joke at the expense of Fisto (Johannes Haukur Johannesson) but the immature part of me did laugh at said joke. There was also a delight in seeing characters like Trap Jaw (Sam C. Wilson), Ram-Man (Jon Xhue Zhang) as well as Skeletor's allies also in the mix.

I also liked the fact that Adam was willing to extend some mercy towards Skeletor, which the latter rejected and paid the price for. The remaining few minutes of the movie set up things for a sequel that might not happen and that's a shame.

- The credit scenes saw Evil-Lyn grabbing Skeletor's skull as well as the introduction of Adam's half-sister, Adora/She-Ra (Lauren Saliu).

- I was hoping and expecting a cameo from Dolph Lundgren and I wasn't disappointed when he popped up for one scene.

- On top of some adult jokes that will likely go over younger audiences, Evil-Lyn seemed to be thirsting for both Adam and Teela in this movie.

- There's some voice talent from the likes of Kristen Wiig, Christopher Ragland and Gary Martin to name a few.

- Standout music: The Darkness Masters Of The Universe, Queen's Princes Of The Universe, 4 Non Blondes What's Up?, The Cure's Boys Don't Cry and The Killers The Man.

- Chronology: Adam was in Oklahoma City for fifteen years before Teela came to get him. 

Masters Of The Universe (2026) does suffer from being a dated IP that modern audiences clearly have no interest in and being released during a ridiculously competitive summer. As a movie, it's an entertaining blockbuster with a good lead performance from Nicholas Galitzine, some decent actions scenes, a surprisingly effective villain and funny moments. 

Rating: 7 out of 10

My Review of The Little Mermaid (1989)

 

Written And Directed by John Musker And Ron Clements

Ariel: "But without my voice, how can I..."

Ursula: "You'll have your looks, your pretty face. And don't underestimate the importance of body language!"

A few years ago, I reviewed the live action version of this beloved Disney classic and I was always meant to get back to reviewing this one. I guess better late than never.

Anyways, let's look at this story. It's based on the Hans Christian Anderson story and it naturally took some creative difference, seeing as it's a Disney classic. Those differences of course actually worked in this adaptation's favour.

Under the sea, specifically the Atlantic Ocean and in the kingdom of Atlantica, there was a mermaid named Ariel (Jodi Benson). She's the youngest of seven sisters and clearly the favourite of her father, King Triton (Kenneth Mars). Ariel might love being a mermaid but she's also tempted by the land.

Her desire for the land was there to begin with but rescuing a handsome prince name Eric (Christopher Daniel Barnes) had her clashing with Triton and he easy to manipulate by vengeful sea witch (and all around icon herself), Ursula (Pat Carroll). Of course Ariel would give up her voice to become human and win her man's heart.

In fact, Ariel's goal was actually going swimmingly, even with disapproving from her friends such as Sebastian (Samuel E. Wright) and Flounder (Jason Marin). She didn't have to do much to get Eric to fall in love with her, so of course Ursula had to make herself into Vanessa to try and ruin things.

As a protagonist, Ariel's likeable and sympathetic but as a villain, it's Ursula who stole the show. She's so gloriously over the top, got one of the best villain songs and on top of that, her grudge towards Triton had some merit. Of course shed defeated and both Ariel and Eric get their happy ever after but she's such a memorable presence throughout.

- Prior to the live action remake, this spawned a sequel, prequel and animated show.

- All of Ariel's sisters had names beginning with the letter A and had different coloured tails. 

- Standout music: Part Of Your World, Poor Unfortunate Souls and Kiss The Girl.

- Chronology: It does seem to be set in the same era as the original story itself.

The Little Mermaid might have removed the bittersweet ending of the original story but it's a gorgeous adaptation from the best era of Disney movies. Absolutely one of my favourites.

Rating: 9 out of 10