My Review of The Crow (2024)

 

Written by Zach Baylin And William Schneider

Directed by Rupert Sanders

Eric: "You might be wondering, "Why the leather?" It's because the bad guys can't see me bleed."

For the most part, I try to keep an open mind in relation to reboots etc. Sometimes they can pleasantly surprise you. I wish I could say that about this movie but alas I cannot. It's as bad as it's reputation preceded. In fact, it's even worse.

I generally find Bill Skarsgard to be a very likable and charming actor even if he doesn't always choose the best projects. He should've straight up refused this one because even his acting could do nothing to salvage this absolute train wreck of a reboot.

He's got the role of Eric, who's a troubled guy. Eric's in a rehabilitation centre which seemed ineffectual on the rehabilitation side of things. There he met the mysterious Shelly (FKA Twigs) and with that, the two of them decided to escape when Shelly's past tried to catch up with her. 

In the original movie, I didn't mind Eric and Shelly's romance but here, it's hard to root for it when you've got two actors whose onscreen chemistry was nonexistent to begin. Anyways, Shelly died. Eric died. Then Eric became the Crow and sought out everyone responsible for killing his girlfriend and so on.

Getting to the villain of the piece, you've got Danny Huston virtually on autopilot as demonic crime lord Vincent Roeg. Vincent had a penchant for making people give into their darkest impulses and we learned that Shelly did some horrible things before she got involved with Eric. 

Subplots with Shelly's sell out of a mother, Sophia (Josette Simon) and the use of spirit guide Kronos (Sami Bouajila) to one side, there's a slight difference in overall outcome compared to the original movie. It's not a great twist but it's also the least of this movie's problems.

- This reboot went through different directors and potential lead actors before we ended up with this outcome.

- It does feel like Eric's look was a homage to Jared Leto's Joker but worse looking.

- Standout music: Joy Division's Disorder.

- Chronology: Very much a present day story. 

I can honestly say this really could be a contender for one of the worst reboots ever and also one of the worst movies in 2024. Absolutely nothing about this version of The Crow worked on any conceivable level and I honestly couldn't wait for it to end. 

Rating: 2 out of 10

My Review of The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2005)

 

Written by Lance Mungia And Jeff Most And Sean Hood

Directed by Lance Mungia

Jimmy: "Someone owes me two lifetimes and a set of perfect blue eyes."

Heading into the final movie before the reboot's release this week, I have to reiterate that there's some diminished returns with this franchise. This one being the worst one so far.

This time our protagonist was an ex criminal named Jimmy Cuervo (Edward Furlong). Yet again, he has a girlfriend. She's called Lily (Emmanuelle Chriqui). She's got the sight. Sadly for this couple, neither of them seem death coming. 

The death being at the hands of a gang of Satanists, led by the unimaginatively named, Luc 'Death' Crash (David Boreanaz) and his envious girlfriend, Lola Byrne (Tara Reid). The rest of the group compiled of War (Marcus Chong), Famine (Tito Ortiz) and Pestilence (Yuji Okumoto). Early into the movie, they get out of prison and kill both Jimmy and Lola. 

Needless to say, Jimmy gets revived and became the new Crow and got the biggest crow to boot. While trying to avenge his dead girlfriend, Jimmy also had to contend with Lily's priest father, Padre Harold (Danny Trejo) and sherriff brother, Tanner (Dave Baez). Both blamed him for Lily's death before realising the bigger threat at stake.

The threat being this movie committing to the Satan worshipping by having Luc and Lola get engaged with the help of El Nino (Denis Hopper) as part of a ritual for Luc to becone a host for Lucifer. What better place than a Catholic church for such an event?

Yeah, we get the big stand off,many deaths, a wasted cameo appearance from Macy Gray and a last minute attempt for Lola to renounce her Satan worshipping ways as Luc failed to outsmart Jimmy. All of this as the movie somewhat hurtled towards it's ending. 

- Despite Lily having blue eyes, actress Emmanuelle Chriqui has brown eyes.

- Jimmy collected scorpions and even read Stephen Crane's Black Riders to Luc.

- Mostly a DVD release but it did have a one week theatrical release.

- Chronology: This movie was set in Lake Ravasu on the Raven Aztec reservation.

Yeah, this one just bored me rigid. A miscast lead actor, a leaden love story and Satanic worshipping villains poorly executed. The Crow: Wicked Prayer was a pure exercise in tedium. 

Rating: 4 out of 10 

My Review of The Crow: Salvation (2000)

 

Written by Chip Johannessen

Directed by Bharat Nalluri

Vincent: "What do you want?"

Alex Corvis: "I want Lauren. I want my life back. I want to know why!"

Following the failure of the second movie at the box office, a third installment in this franchise certainly pivoted in new and different direction. Well, the different being that this was a straight to DVD release.

The familiar being the motive in question. Yet again, we've got a Crow who's avenging a dead girlfriend. Here it's Alex Corvis (Eric Mabius), who got the chair after being framed for the murder of his lover, Lauren Randell (Jodi Lyn O'Keefe). Needless to say, death didn't agree with Alex.

Nope, shortly after his execution, he got revived by the Crow and proceeded to go after everyone connected to his girlfriend's death. On top of that, there was also the girlfriend's family to contend with.

There was Lauren's cop father, Nathan (William Atherton) who has his own guilt to contend with while Lauren's sister, Erin (Kirsten Dunst). At first, she blamed Alex for her sister's murder before teaming up with Alex to uncover the truth. While not a career highlight for Dunst, she's decent enough as Erin in this movie.

The villains this time aren't gang members but corrupt police officers, led by Book (Fred Ward) and Madden (Bruce McCarthy). As villains along with Secretary (Kelly Haren), they're fairly paint by the numbers,villain wise. Saying that there's something immensely satisfying in the way that Book himself was dealt with.

As another person to connect with the Crow, Alex fulfilled his mission, got his closure and reward. It's neatly wrapped up here with Erin being the one to deal with the fallout of her entire family being no more.

- There's some good supporting performances from Grant Shaud and Tim DeKay as Peter Walsh and Martin Toomey respectively. Walton Goggins also featured here.

- The Crow facial features on Alex are a lot more gruesome than the previous two movies. 

- In a different universe, this would've been a Rob Zombie movie. Let's just say we fared better here. 

- Chronology: Early 2000s in Salt Lake City for this movie.

As a horror/comic book franchise, I can't deny that these movies do diminish on each entry. The Crow: Salvation is a very pedestrian entry, reusing elements of the first movie but in a less compelling way.

Rating: 5 out of 10 

My Review of The Crow: City Of Angels (1996)

 

Written by David S. Goyer

Directed by Tim Pope

Sarah: "There's a reason why you've been brought back, Ashe."

Ashe: "To find the people who did this to us. To make them pay."

Following the tragic passing of Brandon Lee during filming of the first movie and the success of that film, a sequel was inevitable. However, it was a tough case of finding the right story to put the mythology forward while being respectful to what had come beforehand.

To say that The Crow: City Of Angels had an impossible task in doing that would be an understatement. For a second outing, it's certainly a movie that may have disappointed fans of the first one at the time of release but has gained a cult folllowing over time. I kind of enjoyed it too.

Last time it was a rockstar avenging his murdered girlfriend. This time around, you've got doting father and mechanic, Ashe Corven (Vincent Perez) being killed along with his son, Danny (Eric Acosta) by a drug gang led by Judah Earl (Richard Brooks). Needless to say, the crow returned, resurrected Ashe and the latter embarked on a revenge mission of his own.

Like Eric in the previous movie, Ashe had an ally in Sarah Mohr (Mia Kirshner). This time, Sarah was an adult, working as a tattoo artist with a gay boss named Noah (Ian Dury) and having bad dreams. Those dreams led her right into Ashe's direction and she had to be the one to bring him up to speed about his current status.

Ashe didn't exactly take the news well but he did enjoy taking out an assortment of scumbags in his lead up to confronting the superstitious Judah. Those included the likes of Curve (Iggy Pop) and Kali (Thuy Trang), the latter in particular getting a fate worse than death.

As for Judah himself, I found his motivation. Wanting to replace Ashe as a beacon of death by killing the crow and using Sarah as bait for Ashe. He didn't exactly get his wish at the end of this movie as Ashe managed to get his revenge. However, Sarah, while useful in the movie was another casualty. There are also two endings for the movie. The theatrical one was the conventional similar to the first movie. It was an okay way to end this one.

- The second ending was more downbeat with Ashe's actions resulting in him being unable to crossover. I think I liked that one more.

- The Deftones appeared as themselves in the movie. Originally Ashe and Danny were meant to be brothers instead of father and son.

- Standout music: Bush's In A Lonely Place, Hole's Gold Dust Woman and the use of Hush Little Baby by both Ashe and Kali in the movie.

- Chronology: Several years since the events of the first movie. It's also set during the day of the dead in Los Angeles.

Yeah, I liked The Crow: City Of Angels. It was in a tough place as a sequel and for the most part, it worked for me. I liked Ashe as much as I did Eric in the first one and Sarah had her moments as a character.

Rating: 6 out of 10 

My Review of The Crow (1994)

 

Written by David J. Show And John Shirley

Directed by Alex Proyas

Eric: "Little things used to mean so much to Shelly- I used to think they were kind of trivial. Believe me, nothing is trivial."

With a reboot due for release later this month, I thought it was time to revisit this movie and maybe actually bother with the sequel. Has it really been thirty years since it's debut? Apparently it has. Has the movie stood the test of time? I think it has done, yes.

In this movie, our protagonist was a man who died a year ago. Rockstar Eric Draven (Brandon Lee) and his girlfriend, Shelly Webster (Sofia Shinas) were the victims of a gang related death buteven in death, there's no rest for the wicked. That's quickly proven with the resurrection of Draven himself.

Aided by a mystical crow, Eric was on a one man mission to kill every single gang member responsible for his and Shelly's deaths. It was a mission that Eric certainly had fun with and while he possessed a certain degree of invulnerability, he wasn't entirely immune to being hurt. Not to mention, his revenge plans attracted attention from other characters, who'd get caught in his path.

These characters included a good cop named Daryl Albrecht (Ernie Hudson). He had previously failed Eric in the past but was determined to amend that once he was aware of Eric's presence. Then there was Sarah Mohr (Rochelle Davis), a young girl who saw Eric as a surrogate brother figure but also she was someone whom the main antagonist could leverage against Eric.

The main antagonist of the movie was a more typical gangster in Top Dollar (Michael Wincott) with the enigmatic Myca (Bai Ling) as a second in command. He's a ruthless enough baddie, not above threatening Sarah's life in order to get Eric. Of course, like every other baddie in this movie, he's given a very fitting death.

The deaths in question are a highlight here. Eric specifically chose different ones to suit each person who caused his and Shelly's deaths. By the end of this movie, Eric had gotten his revenge, his soul was at peace and there was a clear sequel hook in place with Sarah regifted Shelly's ring by the crow.

- Brandon Lee who played Eric Draven tragically died during filming. 

- There's a good subplot where Eric scared Sarah's mother, Darla (Anna Levine) into getting clean.

- Gang members who were taken out included Grange (Tony Todd), T-Bird (David Patrick Kelly), Tin Tin (Laurence Mason) and Funboy (Michael Massee).

- Chad Stahelski was both a stunt and body double for Brandon Lee, including completing scenes, following Lee's death.

Standout music: Stone Temple Pilots Big Empty.

- Chronology: There's a Halloween setting for this movie, following a year since Eric and Shelly's deaths.

The Crow does live up to it's hype,though a movie more associated with the tragic passing of it's lead actor than the actual quality itself. It's an interesting tale of revenge and rather darkly comic to boot. It's also very 90s, which ain't a bad thing.

Rating: 8 out of 10