My Review of Psycho Beach Party (2000)

 

Written by Charles Busch

Directed by Robert Lee King

Florence: "I've never been to an orgy before. What do I wear?"

I'm half way through October and I'm trying to keep this blog as horror themed as possible. I'm also using this as an opportunity to catch up with old horror films that I've not seen before. This would be one of them.

Pre-Six Feet Under, I was aware that this movie was a cult favourite that had Lauren Ambrose playing the main role of Florence "Chicklet" Forrest. Its a pretty interesting role for her as Chicklet turned out to be a rather multifaceted character.

As Florence, she was kind of unpopular with only Berdine (Danni Wheeler) as her only friend. As Chicklet, she was the only girl in a surfer gang. Her presence in said attracted the attention of both Starcat (Nicholas Brendon) and the much older Kanaka (Thomas Gibson). Though the latter was more attracted to the fiery Ann Bowman.

Yes, Florence suffered from multiple personalities and her others ones were playful, violent and snobbish, much to the confusion of everyone around her. Except her mother, Ruth (Beth Broderick), who knew more about Florence's psyche than she was letting on.

Anyways there was a spate of murders throughout the community and it really did look like Florence was responsible. Of course, it turns out that the mild manner Lars (Matt Kesslar) was the real killer and it's a good rug pull moment until the ending also turned things on its head.

The film's filled with some vibrant characters. You get typical mean girl types like Rhonda (Kathleen Robertson) and Marvel Ann (Amy Adams) but the standouts were Captain Monica Stark (Charles Busch) and B horror movie actress, Bettina Barnes (Kimberley Davies). Both characters light up the movie with their scenes.

- There's a slew of hunky actors in Nicholas D'Agosto, David Chokachi and Andrew Levitas to name a few.

- Florence had a younger brother who died when she was looking after him. The Ann Bowman persona was a nod to Ruth's promiscuity.

- Standout music: Ben Vaughn's P-S-Y-C-H-O (Psycho).

- Chronology: This seemed to have a very 1950s feel to it overall.

Psycho Beach Party might be one of the strangest movies I've watched in a while and it's not even a new one. It mostly worked but some stuff didn't quite land. Lauren Ambrose unquestionably was the best thing about this film.

Rating: 6 out of 10 

My Review of American Horror Story: 13 - The Prodigal Son

 

Written by Ned Martel And Charlie Carver And Brad Falchuk

Directed by Gillian Robespierre 

Mr. Nas (to Ben): "So, are we going to do this nicely or is daddy gonna have to give you a spanking?"

Personally, I'm disappointed that Ben didn't get a spanking in this episode and I don't apologise for that. All of a sudden, our mild mannered hospice caretaker developed a bratty sub side to him and all because his daddy turned out to be Satan of all things.

Yes, Ben is the son of Mr. Nas but as I suspected, he's not Devan Campbell from the events of Apocalypse. If he were, this would've been the place to have confirmed that. Ben basically had daddy drag him around the Apollyon and bind him to a chair without the bondage aspect of it all. 

I'm going to blunt here. Joey Pollari and Paul Anthony Kelly found their best scene partners this season in each other that it's almost a shame Ben and Nas are related. There was a time when these two would've played enemies who hate fucked each other. Sadly that's not this time. Oh, well.

Mr. Nas was pretty blatant about wanting Ben to join the family business. Now, this was where the episode lost me. Nas's big plan all along was to go back to Hell and let Ben take over the Earth. That seemed really dumb. Surely, Nas would want to rule both Hell and Earth and keep Ben under control. Going by the way this episode ended, I can't tell what Ben has chosen to do.

Ben conveniently appeared at the Academy during the end, offering himself to the witches who only just learned he existed. Is he going to be a Trojan horse and destroy the witches from the inside? I can't rule it out. Or will Ben actually rebel against Daddy Dearest and help them send Nas back to Hell and relinquish any claim to ruling Earth? Ben did talk about wanting to do good.

Am I terrible person for saying that anything Coven related was my least favourite aspect of this one? I didn't miss them in the last episode and while their screen time was essential, I kept wanting to go back to Ben and Mr. Nas. On the plus side, at least everyone found out about Mallory taking out Michael Langdon and reacted accordingly. Cordelia in particular handled the reveal a lot better than expected.

- I can't wait for Ben to find out that Constance is his half sister. I wonder how he'll take that bit of news.

- If you thought Ben's overuse of AI was bad, then some of Nas's choice in dialogue was a lot worse by comparison.

- Ben has shown no actual powers whatsoever for someone being earmarked to rule Earth. How come Michael did?

- I did slightly laugh at Coco's offering of Captain Morgan's to Papa Legba and Madison having to be the rational one after the big reveals this episode.

- Standout music: Fleurie's Sirens at the end of the episode.

- Chronology: From the previous episode left off. Also a 1939 Vatican flashback where Pope Pius XII learned about the Antichrist from the box.

The Prodigal Son might have somewhat disappointed with Mr. Nas's overall plan being rather idiotic and almost destined for failure but I had fun watching him and Ben get to know each other. Joey Pollari and Paul Anthony Kelly had some good moments together. I really hope these last three episodes can bring the whole thing to a satisfying conclusion.

Rating: 7 out of 10

My Review of American Horror Story: 13 - The Devil Is In The Details

 

Written by Ryan Murphy And Ned Martel And Charlie Carver

Directed by Adam Penn

Constance: "Why the fuck did you choose me?"

Mr Nas: "I always knew this moment would come."

An episode of two halves with two characters linked by two other characters to boot. First, let's talk about Constance Langdon, shall we? She's been more than happy to serve Mr. Nas aka Satan himself, but it's now that she's starting to have doubts.

It's less to do with the moral implications of serving the Devil himself and more to do with the fact that Constance felt she was continuing a pattern of following influential men who she was smarter than. Constance believing that she's smarter than the Devil himself felt on brand enough. Even Mr. Nas could see the funny side in Constance's assertion.

Nas for the majority of this episode was played by both Fedor Steer and Paul Anthony Kelly. The latter got to wine and dine Constance whilst dressed as a matinee idol. Nas was more than happy to point out Constance's numerous misdeeds but also loved her for being a bad girl. Constance tried to seduce Nas but he turned her down. The reason being something that even I didn't see coming.

Constance being the daughter of Mr. Nas might be one of the biggest mindfucks in the show's history but it oddly worked here. Oh and that young man that Constance has been gaslighting and drugging? He's only her half brother. Yup, I'm talking about the bloke who recently discovered 616 branded above his backside a few episodes. 

Ben and the rather tedious Ashley went to a tattoo parlour to get some answers from a rather unhelpful artist. Ben got more flashbacks and realised he was raised by Satanists. He also went back to using AI to draw a rather obvious conclusion about Mr. Nas and we even got a slight glimpse of a darker side to Ben.

Ben attempted to kill the older Nas until the younger one revealed himself to the flustered hospice caretaker. It's a solid enough cliffhanger as Ben got to be in the same room with two very different versions of his real father. Ben's probably gonna need a lot of therapy if he gets out of this season alive.

- I knew Ashley wasn't to be trusted. In the least shocking reveal, she was working for Constance and Mr. Nas.

- Ben's nicknames expanded this week to Doogie Howser and Chicken by Mr. Phibes and Benny Brown Eyes by Mr. Nas.

- Taylor Dorium Nas or I'm Your Lord Satan. Ben literally needed his AI app to tell him that.

- Constance suggested Adelaide for the postal service and Tate for FOX News to Mr. Nas. Are we going to see either of them again before the season ends?

- Michael Langdon was finally mentioned and in the most deadbeat dad of ways by Mr. Nas. Constance's "grandson" was also a half brother. Bloody hell.

- Chronology: Set during the night for the whole episode.

The Devil Is In The Details provided a huge information dump for both Constance and Ben as characters. I think I like Constance being Nas's daughter more than I like Ben being his heir apparent. At the same time, I'm just happy the story moved along faster with this one and the next episode.

Rating: 7 out of 10

My Review of Pinocchio Unstrung (2026)

 

Written And Directed by  Rhys Frake-Waterfield

Pinocchio: "I don't like killing those people."

Having watched this movie, I'm officially caught up with this franchise. This was definitely a very, very gnarly depiction of the wooden boy who wanted to be a real one, no matter the lengths he'd go to.

Of course this Pinocchio (Jude-Evan Lloyd) was more of a prisoner and pawn of his maker, Geppetto (Richard Brake) and the latter had more of a preference for his human grandson, James (Cameron Bell). There's an instant bond between Pinocchio and James. It's a nice bond until it became very messy.

Pinocchio might want to be a real boy but he's got a lot to learn about humanity and his attempts of trying to help James went down a rather murderous route. James got involved in a car crash and Pinocchio horrifically ripped the guy to pieces.

For a large portion of this movie, Pinocchio was also being manipulated by the Talking Cricket (Robert Englund) at the behest of Wood Mother (Emma Tate). Both are pretty awful but actively encouraged Pinocchio's killing spree and consumption of organs. There's also a rather brutal scene that made me feel bad for a fricking dentist.

Anyways, I'll give this movie points because James had allies in both his friend Dudley (Jack Art Gray) and his teacher, Mia (Jessica Balmer) and Pinocchio had his own crisis of conscience. Pinocchio basically went from villain to antihero.

Geppetto of course took on the villain part, being a former student of a mad scientist and outright psychopath. There's a decent performance from Richard Brake but it's a rather rushed conclusion that seemed more interested in setting up a potential sequel than offering an ending to this one.

- There's a post credit scene where the Cricket tried to use vines off the tree to revive Geppetto.

- Robert Englund is mostly known for playing Freddy Krueger while Richard Brake has been a frequent collaborator for Rob Zombie. 

- Scott Chambers briefly appeared as Christopher Robin as did Peter DeSouza-Feighoney as Michael Darling.

- Chronology: Present day England.

Rushed ending to one side, Pinocchio Unstrung was decent enough. I do think getting the likes of Robert Englund and Richard Brake helped a bit with the film and the gore factor had a few moments that made me look away.

Rating: 6 out of 10 

My Review of Bambi: The Reckoning (2025)

 

Written by Rhys Warrington

Directed by Dan Allen

Michael: "You ever shot a deer?"

Tyler: "No. Have you?"

Michael: "Yeah, once."

I had actually forgotten about the Twisted Childhood Universe until I was scrolling and saw this movie. I already ventured into the gnarly takes on Winnie the Pooh and Peter Pan, what not an orphaned deer on a murderous rampage?

The movie started as you'd expect with Bambi losing his mother as expected. He's mostly alone until he mated with Faline and they had a fawn together. Then Faline got hit by a toxic waste truck and died and being whacked with a spade brought out Bambi's feral side.

Let's just say this deer isn't happy with a herbivore diet plan. In fact most of the characters in this film (not that they're particularly fleshed out) learned the hard way that Bambi had a lethal streak to him as well as a taste for human flesh.

Speaking of humans and because we needed a few as protagonists - there was mother and son duo, Xana (Roxanne McKee) and Benji (Tom Mulheron). They're likable enough as characters and just wanted to see Simon's (Alex Cooke) family, mostly his dementia suffering mother, Mary (Nicola Wright). It seemed like she knew more about Bambi than she was letting on.

The rest of the family included the likes of Andrew (Russell Geoffrey Banks), Harriet (Samira Mighty) and Harrison (Joseph Greenwood). The latter in particular was a dick to both Mary and Benji for no reason at all. Throw in some other horrible characters like Tyler (Big Tobz) and Eddie (Ewan Borthwick) and perhaps Bambi had a point after all.

Remember the fawn I mentioned earlier in the review? They're important because they were being mistreated by Tyler and Eddie and then that fawn was made an orphan by Michael (Adrian Relph). History repeated itself in quite a horrid way.

- Michael killed Bambi's mother and then Bambi. Mary killed Michael. Mary was the best human in this film. Mary also did the opening narration.

- Benji was convinced his parents were getting deported. I'm sure he meant divorced.

- There was some feral rabbits in this film but no characters from the previous three films.

- Chronology: Set during the course of a night. There are no day scenes in this movie whatsoever.

I found Bambi: The Reckoning to be okay enough. It's not particularly good or even bad. The acting's fine, the story moved at a fast enough pace but a lot of the scenes were hard to actually see because it was so poorly lit. The ending was top notch though. Best part of the film.

Rating: 6 out of 10 

My Review of The Raven (1963)

 

Written by Richard Matheson 

Directed by Roger Corman

Dr. Craven (to Dr. Bedlo): "Shut your beak! Quoth the raven, nevermore."

Last week, I had a look at the Vincent Price and Roger Corman team up of The Pit And The Pendulum and while I'm not reviewing their collaboration of Edgar Allen Poe adaptations in order, I will try to get through them all as best I can.

Vincent Price in this adaptation took on the role of magician Dr. Erasmus Craven. He's got a daughter named Estelle (Olive Sturgess) and he's mourning the loss of his second wife, Lenore (Hazel Court). Estelle on the other hand wasn't particularly sad that her stepmother wasn't around anymore.

There's also the titular Raven itself. Actually it's a peer named Dr. Adolphus Bedlo (Peter Lorre) and the raven made his presence known to Craven until the latter changed him back into a human. We also got to meet Bedlo's son, Rexford (Jack Nicholson) who seemed taken with Estelle but also had his moment of madness.

Because this movie needed a villain, who better than to get Boris Karloff as the fanatical Dr. Scarabus. Oh and Lenore wasn't dead at all. She just faked her death so she could help to contrive to get Craven into Scarabus's hands and just so the latter could take his powers.

That was Scarabus's big plan. He wanted Erasmus's powers and both Lenore and Bedlo came in handy. There's an impressive magical duel between the two of them and even a poor attempt from Lenore to switch sides when Scarabus was losing.

There's also a rather satisfying comeuppance for Bedlo. He overplayed his hand and ended up as a mute raven as punishment for his misdeeds. That was certainly a way to have Erasmus put a spin on some very popular lines from the infamous story.

- Peter Lorre did ad-lib a lot for this movie and there was tension between him and Jack Nicholson.

- Boris Karloff was in the 1935 version of this movie but that had a different story.

- Boris Karloff wasn't a fan of the cape he had to wear or the scenes where him and Vincent Price were in the air.

- Chronology: It's 1506 in a dreary December.

The Raven (1963) had some strong performances from Price, Lorre and Karloff. It's a good take on the popular Edgar Allen Poe story. It's probably one of the best takes if I'm being honest.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of Octopussy (1983)

 

Written by George MacDonald Fraser And Richard Maibaum And Michael G. Wilson

Directed by John Glen

Vijay: "Is he still there?"

Q: "You must be joking! 007 on an island populated exclusively by women? We won't see him till dawn!"

This film might have the funniest/rudest title for a James Bond movie. It's titular character as played by Maud Adams certainly wasn't short changed in this film either. She's a bit more than a love interest for Roger Moore's spy. 

She's a jewel smuggler and a wealthy businesswoman to boot and maybe the closest to an equal that Moore's version of Bond might have in this movie. There's good chemistry between the two of them as their dynamic was both antagonistic and flirtatious in equation. Even the ending somewhat subverted the usual ending for a Bond film.

Octopussy also ran an Octopus cult (no, seriously she did) and was working with the actual villain of the piece - Kamal Khan (Louis Jourdan). Khan was an exiled Afghan prince and he wasn't best pleased with James's refusal to die. Get in line, Khan.

As a villain, he's mostly interesting enough and had no problem getting Magda (Kristina Wayborn) to seduce Bond. Magda's not as interesting a character as Octopussy. She's more of a generic character in the mix of more interesting ones.

Throw in an alliance with Khan and rogue Soviet General Orlov (Steven Berkoff) and there's a plot to destabilise NATO for both James and Octopussy to stop them. There's a bit with a Fabergé egg, an ally in Vijay (Vijay Amritraj) and James avenging the death of 009 (Andy Bradford) and there's plenty going on here.

- Maud Adams previously played Andrea Anderson in The Man With The Golden Gun. She's better served here.

- This was the final role for Paul Hardwick who played a Soviet chairman. Robert Brown is now playing M.

- Standout music: Rita Coolidge's All Time High.

- Chronology: East Berlin, Udaipur and both East and West Germany.

Octopussy was a better movie than expected and they certainly had fun with that title choice. A good dynamic between Roger Moore and Maud Adams certainly helped things.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of Carrie - Season 1 (Amazon Prime Series, 2026)

 

Written by Mike Flanagan And Elizabeth Padden And Justina Ireland And Dani Parker And Elan Gale And Alexandra Magistro And Rebecca Klingel And Jamie Flanagan

Directed by Mike Flanagan And Kate Siegel And Axelle Carolyn And Kyra Sedgwick And Hiromi Katama 

Carrie: "All I ever wanted was to go to school."

Am I terrible Stephen King fan for saying that I wasn't chomping at the bit for another adaptation of this particular book? Am I a terrible Mike Flanagan fan for wanting him to do something original instead? I don't think I am tbh. This book has been adapted enough times and Flanagan definitely needs to do something original.

Putting those things to one side, I'm fortunately relieved to say that this eight part series for Amazon Prime was mostly a success. This was a Carrie White (Summer H. Howell) for the 2020s and it's a modern take that managed to mostly work for the titular character and the people drawn inyo her world.

The lynchpin of any adaptation would be the relationship between Carrie and her fanatical mother, Margaret (Samantha Sloyan). Again, it mostly worked because Margaret's extremities in regards to her daughter are still here but softened/modernised for a current audience. This Margaret will use social media to tackle Carrie's bullies and mobilise support but this was also a Margaret who cannot handle Carrie questioning the world around and showed genuine fear of her daughter's abilities.

The interesting but questionable change was Margaret having latent powers of her own. It's touched upon briefly in flashbacks and presented itself during a crucial moment in the finale. It also put Margaret in the firing line of a mystery cult led by the equally mysterious Adelaide (Kate Siegel). I'm not happy with how Margaret's story concluded in this take of the source material.

Having a cult of people with similar abilities to Carrie felt like an obvious way to prolong this story and push it to getting a potential second season. There's a lot of focus on a character named Emaline (Thalia Dudek), who befriended Carrie, had similar abilities to Carrie and also took away some of Carrie's agency during the very moment that should've been Carrie's and Carrie's alone.

Yes, I'm talking about the prom. I didn't like Emaline's involvement in that crucial moment, though it didn't negate the fact that Carrie still was mostly responsible for the destruction at hand. It's an okay depiction but most of the movies handled the prom scenes better. This show fleshed certain characters out better than any movie.

In particular, this show just gave audiences the best version of superbitch Chris Hargensen (Alison Thornton). An absolutely layered but utterly hateful version of the high school bully. There's a moment where it looked like Chris and Carrie could've been friends and it's cruelly decimated. Chris's family life with two separated parents - John (Michael Trucco) and Madison (Heather Graham), the latter's new boyfriend, Kent Kirby (Gil Bellows) and his daughter, Brooklyn (Rowan Danielle) was dysfunctional along with her relationship with bad boy, Billy Nolan (Arthur Conti). Outside of Carrie and Margaret, Chris was the most fleshed out character here.

Less fleshed out were the likes of Sue Snell (Siena Agudong), Tommy Ross (Joel Oulette) and Tina Blake (Josie Totah) but they do get a few interesting bits. The actual high school staff were a mixed bag of ineffective, incompetent and genuinely helpful. With characters like Principal Henry Grayle (Matthew Lillard), Rita Desjardin (Amber Midthunder), Seth Piest (Rahul Kohli) and Peter Morton (Tim Bagley), it's not hard to see why Carrie would eventually be tipped over the edge.

- The episode titles are First Period, Foreign Language, Social Studies, Dramatic Arts, Physical Education, Home Economics, Romantic Literature and AP Physics.

- Other noteworthy people to appear in the show included Katee Sackhoff, Tahmoh Penikett, Ruth Codd, Delainey Hayles as well as Bryan Fuller and Don Mancini.

- CarrieRed might have been set up to make fun of Carrie but it also exposed Seth Piest having sexual relationships with students, leading to his death in the sixth episode.

- I did like how the credit scenes kept getting redder with each episode.

- Standout music: The Newton Brothers provided the score for the show.

- Chronology: Mostly set in Thomas Ewen Consolidated High School, Maine. 

I had my reservations about this version of Carrie and I can't say that I loved everything that Mike Flanagan did with the material but I liked it a lot than I expected to and that's a relief. There's some genuine standout performances from Summer H. Howell, Samantha Sloyan and Alison Thornton but no one puts a foot wrong.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of Carry On Screaming! (1966)

 

Written by Talbot Rothwell

Directed by Gerald Thomas

Orlando: "What time is it?"

Valeria: "Just past December."

Orlando: "I told you not to wake me up 'til the beginning of March!"

I have a bit of a thing for the Carry On movies. They're a bit outdated but a guilty pleasure nonetheless. Seeing as it's spooky season, of course I had to watch this one.

The film started with a couple named Albert (Jim Dale) and Doris (Angela Douglas). They're in the woods about to get more acquainted and then Doris ended up getting snatched by a monster named Oddball (Tom Clegg). Doris wouldn't be the only one getting taken by this creature.

In fact there's a spate of disappearances and connected to them were the seductive Valeria (Fenella Fielding) and her mad scientist brother, Dr. Orlando Watt (Kenneth Williams). Oh and their servant, Sockett (Bernard Bresslaw) had no problem aiding the demented siblings.

The siblings were kidnapping young women and turning them into mannequins. Of course, they also had to contend with the likes of Detective Constable Slobotham (Peter Butterworth) and more specifically, Detective Sergeant Sidney Bung (Harry H. Corbett).

The latter in particular was a henpecked husband to Emily (Joan Sims) and was easily led and seduced by Valeria. I'd argue almost too easily seduced, which did lead to Bung being temporarily turned into a hairy monster. It didn't last that long as the movie progressed. 

There's a good team between Bung and Albert in order to try and save their respective loves from being mannequins forever. One was more successful than the other, Orlando embraced his villainy before his comeuppance and Valeria herself had a change of living arrangements that I'm sure she'd take some getting used to.

- Sidney James had played Detective Bung in previous movies but the role was recast here as he wasn't available.

- Jon Pertwee had the role of Dr. Fettle in this film. 

- Gerald Thomas had a voice cameo in this film as Oddball Junior.

- Orlando and Valeria were originally meant to be father and daughter instead of brother and sister.

- Standout music: Ray Pilgrim performed the theme tune, Carry On Screaming.

- Chronology: Set in Edwardian era, in Hocombe Woods.

Carry On Screaming! is pretty much what you'd expect a horror themed adventure would be from this particular comedy series. It's enjoyable enough with the expected innuendos and some good special effects and prosthetics for some of the monstrous looks on display.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of The Pit And The Pendulum (1961)

 

Written by Richard Matheson 

Directed by Roger Corman

Don Nicholas Medina: "I will tell you where you are. You are about to enter hell, Bartholomew. Hell! The Netherworld. The infernal region. The abode of the damned. The place of torment. Pandemonium. "Abbadon, "Tophet", "Gehenna". "Naraka", the pit! And the pendulum."

I fancied a bit of Edgar Allen Poe and one of the best adaptations of his work was this underrated film from 1961 starring the iconic Vincent Price.

In this film, Price took on the role of Nicholas Medina, who lived in a nice castle but was also grieving the loss of his wife, Elizabeth (Barbara Steel). Elizabeth died of fright but her Englishman brother, Francis Barnard (John Kerr) had doubts.

From the moment he appeared on screen, Francis served as a foil to Nicholas. He didn't believe the circumstances behind his sister's death and wasn't convinced when Doctor Leon (Antony Carbone) tried to convince him otherwise.

On top of that, it also seemed like Nicholas had a traumatic past involving his father, Sebastian (Vincent Price). In the present day, Nicholas also appeared to be losing his sanity, something that wasn't helped by the fact that Elizabeth was alive and in cahoots with Doctor Leone.

Elizabeth and Leone being lovers with a long game plot to see Nicholas's fortune went completely wrong with Nicholas thinking he was his father and mistaking Elizabeth and Leone for his mother and uncle. Then Francis got to experience the actual title of the film itself.

He got trapped in a pit with a pendulum coming close to slicing him in half had Nicholas's sister, Catherine (Luana Anders) and servant Maximilian (Patrick Westwood). The ending for Nicholas was tragic but Elizabeth's final fate was so much worse.

- The success of this film would have Roger Corman direct several Edgar Allen Poe adaptations, including The Raven (1963).

- The following Poe quote "...the agony of my soul found vent in one loud, long, and final scream of despair."  That was a part of the credits for the film.

- For TV rights, an opening scene with Catherine Medina was filmed where she was committed to an asylum and retold the events.

- Chronology: 1547 Spain with flashbacks to Nicholas's childhood.

The Pit And The Pendulum (1961) would definitely be one of the best adaptations of an Edgar Allen Poe story to date. It's beautifully shot, the performances are on point and that ending was such a grim way to conclude it.

Rating: 8 out of 10 

My Review of American Horror Story: 13 - Hell No

 

Written by Ned Martel And Charlie Carver 

Directed by Crystle Roberson Dorsey 

Cordelia (to Fiona/Marie/Papa Legba): "United we will defeat the Devil himself."

With only five episodes left to go, you'd think so, wouldn't you? Then again, it's the Devil and no matter how Avengers this season will get, there needs to be some major casualties. Cordelia going on about so much death should have some actual weight to it.

I liked how this episode started with Fiona and Cordelia actually bonding with each other. Being in Hell really seems to have given Fiona much to think about in regards to her past actions. For now, it does seem like she genuinely wants to help save the Coven against the Devil.

I'm glad this episode wasted no time in having the Coven realise they're up against the Devil and that Cordelia took the steps to fight fire with fire. Cordelia's trip to Hell and her scenes with Papa Legba (Orlando Jones) was brilliant. They both gave it their all but Cordelia had her trump card against Legba.

Papa wasn't pleased about Fiona being plucked out of Hell and less pleased when she stood up to him as well. In fact, he was outright furious with Cordelia and Fiona but also afraid of pissing off Satan himself. Saying that, it didn't stop him from suggesting Marie Laveau (Angela Bassett) being added into the mix, but only if someone volunteered to go to Hell.

This was where Queenie stepped back into the horrors of fast food service and who did she have to deal with? Yup, Madame Delphine Lalaurie (Kathy Bates) herself and while the latter's nastier racism was dialled down, Delphine was still a bit of a Karen in Hell. Queenie's method of dealing with Lalaurie was delightfully satisfying to watch. These last two episodes have been excellent for Queenie in general.

Now, where the episode lost some points for me was Fiona and Marie's banter. Marie in particular was almost too hostile to Fiona and Cordelia and it felt like the writers wanted to write some bitchy one liners for a moment where it wasn't earned. It was a good thing that Papa Legba got them all to focus on the problem at hand.

- I can't get over Kathy Bates getting her name in the opening credits this season and this was the only scene she ended up shooting.

- I really didn't like Morwenna blaming Voodoo, even if I could see why she leapt to such a conclusion.

- Myrtle got a mention as Cordelia apparently bit her as a child. Myrtle should be back next week.

- Of course this season was going to recreate the "knotty pine" moment. Points to it having Fiona trapped in an actual maze I guess.

- Is Queenie really Cordelia's favourite? That's actually really nice. Zoe and Misty aren't getting mentioned, are they?

- Chronology: From where the previous episode left off.

Hell No certainly had it's moments and returns and callbacks galore. To be slightly controversial here, I do hope that the rest of the season doesn't have the Coven drown out the Apollyon story and that there's a good balance between both as they will inevitably intersect from next week onwards.

Rating: 7 out of 10

My Review of American Horror Story: 13 - The Baddest Witch Of Them All

Written by Ned Martel And Charlie Carver 

Directed by Alfonso Gomez-Rejon 

Fiona (to James): "In case you missed my point, I'm the baddest witch of them all and I don't need to dirty my hands with the likes of you."

For those who love the Coven side of things, this week's double bill certainly should've kept you well and truly fed. At the end of the previous episode, Cordelia Goode was absolutely dead. She remained that way for most of this episode to boot.

With Cordelia taken out, someone had to step up and take over things. Not the next Supreme but Madison certainly embraced a leadership role like it came naturally to her. She got Morwenna to work on Cordelia and then she paired off Queenie and Coco and Mallory with Ophelia.

Madison seemed to have some good instincts but it also didn't stop her from becoming Jeffrey Dahmer's first female victim. It's kind of funny that Madison died but also was revived a lot quicker than Cordelia. There was something oddly satisfying in how Queenie dealt with Dahmer, even in the midst of some very clunky dialogue.

Seeing the witches take on Zodiac and the Night Stalker had it's moments. Mallory in particular had a lot of rage towards Ramirez and used a certain trick of hers to give him his just desserts. Queenie's method for dealing with Zodiac also saw a use for Coco's power set as well.

Now, as good as Madison and company were with causing problems for the Cortez Devils, they weren't the reason those baddies were defeated. Nope, the much welcomed return of Fiona Goode (Jessica Lange) saw them all die quickly and horribly. Fiona got some good lines with James Patrick March before he was dispatched.

Leaving Fiona until the last five minutes was a smart move. She dominated the moment she stepped into the frame, made her presence well and truly felt and then she brought Cordelia back from the dead. Now, it's on to the mother/daughter reunion we've been waiting for this season.

- Even in the midst of a serious attack, both Madison and Fiona had time to smoke and even pass a cigarette to one another.

- I had to side eye the obvious reference to a certain Netflix show that Queenie didn't watch.

- Mallory telling Ophelia to keep the time travelling secret annoyed me. Mallory is gonna have to confess about that pretty soon.

- Coco's powers are so odd to me and even to watch them but the sugar spike her and Queenie subjected Zodiac to was executed well.

- Standout music: James Patrick March really does have lovely piano playing skills.

- Chronology: From where the previous episode left off.

The Baddest Witch Of Them All was the middle part of what should've been a trilogy. It presented a united Coven, the badass return of Fiona Goode and the demise of the Cortez Devils. It's not hard to see why this and the next one have been so well received.

Rating: 8 out of 10

My Review of Dracula (2025)

 

Written And Directed by Luc Benson

Vlad: "Do you think God will forgive us for loving each other so much?"

Elisabeta: "God is love. He understands. And if he doesn't - he can go to hell."

Did anyone want a French remake of Bram Stoker's Dracula? Well, even if you didn't, that's exactly what this movie more or less amounted to. 

It might sound like I'm complaining but I'm actually not. Well, not really. First of all, point to Caleb Landry Jones because he's one of the actors that I never would've considered for the role of Dracula but he's a very good choice here.

The movie started off with Vlad the Impaler. He's besotted with his lady love, Elisabeta (Zoë Bleu). He's off to fight the Ottoman Army and while that happened, Elisabeta tragically died and Vlad denounced his own religion and became Dracula.

Cut to the next four hundred years where Dracula was working over time to find a reincarnated version of his beloved. Of course that would happen upon eventually coming into contact with Mina Murray (Zoë Bleu). However, it's his interactions with Jonathan Harker (Ewens Abid).

I love that Jonathan managed to avoid death by getting Dracula to talk about his love life. It certainly bought Jonathan enough time to escape as Dracula made the moves on Mina. Again, there's solid enough chemistry between the two of them.

Throw in some familiar characters but renamed - Dumont (Guillaume de Tonquédec), Maria (Matilda De Angelis), The Priest (Christoph Waltz) and Henry Spencer (David Shields) and you've got the usuals aiding or trying to stop Dracula. The conclusion isn't new but it's executed well.

- Those CGI gargoyles that were assisting Dracula looked rubbish but funny. 

- They really styled the aged up Dracula exactly like Gary Oldman's version.

- Standout music: Frederic Chopin's Nocturne No15 in F minor Op55 No1 DG.

- Chronology: 1480 AD Eastern Europe and 1889 Paris, France.

Dracula (2025) isn't the most innovative of takes of the infamous Count but it's engaging enough with a strong performance from Caleb Landry Jones and solid direction from Luc Besson.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of Practical Magic 2 (2026)

 

Written by Akiva Goldsman And Georgia Pritchett And Kelly Marcel

Directed by Susanne Bier

Sally: "Here's the thing about magic. It won't be silenced."

This era of legacy sequels has now extended to 1990s movies that didn't do well in theatres but gained a cult following over time. While the Hocus Pocus sequel eschewed theatres and went straight to Disney+, Practical Magic 2 risked theatres with middling results.

Once again, we've got the Owens sisters - the extremely overcautious Sally (Sandra Bullock) and the fun loving Gillian (Nicole Kidman). Between movies, Sally lost her lover and stupidly decided to wipe her daughters - Kylie (Joey King) and Antonia's (Maisie Williams) memories of their powers. Needless to say, it was a decision that she would regret.

The birthday of Great Aunt Jet (Dianne Wiest) brought about the death of the dotty auntie and her funeral also had Kylie's lovely boyfriend Gideon (Xolo Mariduena) introduce himself to the rest of the family. Then Gideon ended up in a coma and both Antonia and other aunt Franny (Stockard Channing) would be confined to keeping him alive.

The rest of the movie had Kylie learn she was a witch, steal a left Book of Shadows and take a trip to England in order to save Gideon's life. This plot also put Kylie right in the hands of the movie's villain, Tom Lockland (Solly McLeod). Turned out he was an abandoned member of the Owens who needed Kylie to get his own power set.

Villain wise, Tom's generally okay. On the plus side, he isn't written as a straw misogynist but he's still rather underdeveloped as a baddie. It might have worked better had been part of a group of villains to pose a real threat to the Owens clan.

A slightly better new male character was Professor Ian Wright (Lee Pace). He's mostly helpful to both Sally and Gillian and there's a genuine spark between Ian and Sally that went exactly as expected. The whole movie ended on a note that seemed to imply none of the women no longer living in fear of a certain family curse.

- In the book, Antonia was a lesbian. That's not touched upon here. Franny also died towards the end of the film.

- Based on the 2021 book, The Book Of Magic.

- Standout music: Miriam Makeba's Pata Pata.

- Chronology: Supposedly 28 years since the first movie but that can't be right, considering that Kylie and Antonia are in their twenties. Also set in Massachusetts.

I wasn't sure I was going to like this but Practical Magic 2 turned out to be a rather pleasant sequel. Both Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman slipped into their roles and Joey King and Maisie Williams are good additions. The villain's underdeveloped though.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of Insidious: Out Of The Further (2026)

Written by David Leslie Johnson-McGoldrick And Jacob Chase

Directed by Jacob Chase

Elise: "If the dead rise, it'll be the end of the living."

This year, I started this particular horror franchise and nearly two months later since it's released, I've managed to catch up with the latest instalment.

I do wonder if there was a genuine regret in killing off Lin Shaye's Elise Rainier. It's safe to say that she's been the glue to this franchise and her centrepiece movies were somewhat the strongest in the franchise.

She's not entirely the centre of this latest one but her presence once again was both welcomed and felt organic enough to proceedings. The focus of course was on single mother and dental hygienist, Gemma Hall (Amelia Eve). Gemma's a fairly easy character to root for her.

The film opened up with her as a child (Charli Penton) witnessing the death of her mother, Ingrid (Laura Gordon). In the present day, Gemma's the only parent to Maya (Island Austin) and was dating a hunky cop named Nick Mendoza (Brandon Perea). Nick's also an extremely likable character.

The movie itself had Cyrus Lamb (Sam Spruell) trying to get out of the further by trying to use Maya as a vessel in order to get into the real world. Gemma's lucky to have her boyfriend, the assistance of Elise and of course, Clare (Maisie Richardson-Sellers). The latter in particular turned out to be a rather entertaining character to watch.

As a villain, Cyrus Lamb was a decent enough challenge for everyone concerned. His followers are also rather effective and there's a good sense of terror during the third act. Cyrus did make a strong impression in this franchise's growing list of villains.

- Keyface (Jasper Cleary) and Lipstick-Face Demon (Joseph Bishara) both appeared in the film. Doll Girl, Bride In Black and The Man Who Can't Breathe also appeared.

- Both Tucker and Specs sat this one out while the Lamberts were referenced.

- Standout music: Joy's How Come.

- Chronology: 1999 and 2019, Pittsburgh.

Insidious: Out Of The Further turned out to be another good instalment in this franchise. There's strong performances from everyone, including Amelia Eve . Looking forward to the next one.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

Doctor Who: Animated Spin-Off Has A Title/Tender Heats Up

It's a good job that I held off posting anything in relation to Doctor Who because in less than a day, two major news items surfaced in relation to the show's future.

First of all, that animated show (52 episodes, 11 minutes long each) has the title of Doctor Who: TARDIS Crew and will premiere on CBeebies from late 2027. The plot for the show has also been revealed.

Doctor Who: TARDIS Crew follows the Doctor, a young Time Lord, as he travels in his time travelling machine called the TARDIS with his friends Hannah, Beastie, and Toast-IE. They encounter several new worlds as well as villains like the Daleks.

I got to be honest. While I accept that it's aimed for kids, that animation looks horrible to me. I hope it lands for the intended audience.

Meanwhile for the actual show itself. There's Russell T. Davies providing more context for his recent era, following the release of his new book this month. I can't say he's really doing himself any favours in that regard.

There's also the fact that Jed Mercurio, the man behind series such as Line Of Duty and The Bodyguard has made a pitch for the show with Hat Trick Mercurio. STV Studios have also pitched and this would take future filming for the show to Scotland. Other pitches include two separate BBC Studios and World Productions.

This is excellent news and hopefully it'll mean that Doctor Who will be back sooner than expected. I'm rooting for Jed Mercurio as of now.

I'll post more updates as they come. 

My Review of For Your Eyes Only (1981)

 

Written by Richard Maibaum And Michael G. Wilson

Directed by John Glen

James Bond: "Oh, by the way, we haven't been properly introduced, Melina. My name is Bond, James Bond."

Took a tiny break but now I'm back into the Roger Moore era of James Bond and it seems like a return to basic was the order of the day. After the more science oriented Moonraker, that was probably for the best.

Once again, 007 has got himself into a pickle. The way this movie, he was on the brink of death. There's a bald guy in a wheelchair played by John Hollis who attempted to kill Bond. Of course this ended horribly for him in a scene that was unintentionally very cartoonish in it's execution.

There's also the death of two marine biologists and it's their daughter, Melina Havelock (Carole Bouquet) who got to be the Bond girl in this film. There's decent enough chemistry between her and Roger Moore and of course, as expected, this film ended with the two of them in throes of passion. 

The villain itself, Aristotle Kristatos (Julian Glover) had an interesting trajectory here. He started seemingly as an ally to Bond before his true colours were revealed. His scheme involved planning to expand his fortune by selling the ATAC to the KGB. It was pretty straightforward enough as a plot.

There's also characters such as Hector Gonzalez (Aris Kristatos), Milos Columbo (Chaim Topol), Bibi Dahl (Lynn-Holly Johnson) Emile Leopold Locque (Michael Gothard), and Lisl, The Countess Von Schlaf (Cassandra Harris). All of whom are given sizeable amount of screen time and helped move the story along at a brisk enough pace.

- Charles Dance appeared in this film as Claus, who was the right hand man for Locques. Janet Brown and John Wells played Margaret and Dennis Thatcher respectively.

- The bald guy at the start was clearly meant to be Blofeld, wasn't he?

- Standout music: Sheena Easton's For Your Eyes Only.

- Chronology: Set in Greece and Spain.

For Your Eyes Only did take things somewhat back to basics and it's a fairly basic as a Bond adventure. I didn't love this but I didn't hate it either. It's okay I guess.

Rating: 6 out of 10 

My Review of Lanterns: "Dirt And Stars"

 

Written by Chris Mundy And Damon Lindelof And Tom King 

Directed by Alik Sakharov 

John: "In Brightest day. In Darkest night. I'll embrace my fear. I'll do what's right. I choose the ring. I choose this fight. In service to this lantern's light."

Well, this was a finale, now wasn't it? For those wanting the big CGI battle, this was not the episode for you. For those who wanted John Stewart in his suit, this was not the episode for you. For those who wanted definite answers behind Hal Jordan's death, this one's for you.

Now, whether you like the answer remains to be seen. I'm not sure I entirely do myself. Hal's definitely dead and his killer was Kerry Kane. That slightly disappointed me. Though she accidentally kill Hal upon panicking about Noah's identity being made public.

Yup, turned out that Noah's a Manhunter and he wanted to avenge Zoe's death. He actually healed Hal when the latter got burned in a house fire but Hal's snooping into Noah venturing into that desert planet certainly put Hal in the firing line. 

Noah did show some actual conflict here. He took the fall for Hal's death in order to protect Kerry but he needn't have bothered. John did nothing to actually bring Kerry to justice. She did feel bad for what she did and that was it to be honest. 

Anyways, the rest of the episode had Sinestro trying to turn John and Halogram against one another but he forged a Lantern for John to charge the ring. The actual goodbye between John and Hal was pretty effective though.

There was also a nice scenes between both John and Guy where the former made it clear to the latter he won't be answering to the Guardians. John also created his own oath, which did feel right thematically for him. 

- Considering the ratings for the show, expect a second season announcement pretty soon.

- John's family took in Earl the plant. It's the least they could do, considering their role in John and Hal's conflict.

- Noah admitted to wanting to continue playing football and starting a family.

- Quick reminder that we will see John Stewart in Man Of Tomorrow, which will be in theatres from July 9th 2027.

- Standout music: Michael Kiwanuka's Hero.

- Chronology: I'm assuming this will be the last we see of Rushville. Hopefully next season implements more of Oa.

Dirt And Stars opted for the low key and measured efforts for a finale. I'd say, I was satisfied enough with this one. Season 2 honestly can't come quick enough.

Rating: 8 out of 10 

My Review of The Uprising (2026)

 

Written And Directed by Paul Greengrass

Ploughman: "I am no soldier. I am no priest. I'm just a farmer."

When is a movie about a historical figure not about said figure? When the movie in question didn't want audiences to know who their leading man was playing. Funny that. 

Spoiler alert: It's heavily implied by the end of this film during a particular volatile confrontation that Andrew Garfield was playing Robin Hood all along. Why the movie decided to keep that a secret until the last minute was a baffling choice.

For the majority of the film, Garfield was Ploughman and he was a man who lost his family and somewhat kick started the beginning of a peasants revolt against the King Richard II of England (Woody Norman). The young King was something of a merciless little shit.

Throughout the movie, the King only showed more cruelty and misery towards the peasants that not only did Ploughman try to make a stand against him but so did John Ball (Jamie Bell) and Wat Tyler (Cosmo Jarvis).

Both men are given as much screen time as Garfield's Ploughman and they're engaging enough to watch as the revolt escalated in many deaths. Tyler's death in particular really escalated the final act, which lead to Ploughman's real identity being revealed.

I actually think the reveal of Ploughman being Robin Hood was the best part of the movie, following his wrathful determination to be a living nightmare for King Richard II. It's a brilliant note to end an otherwise average 14th century movie.

- They did actually and very briefly retitle this film, The Uprising: The Rise Of Robin Hood. It didn't help that the Hugh Jackman movie also came out around the same time.

- There's some good supporting roles from Tom Hollander, Thomasin McKenzie, Stephen Dillane, Jonny Lee Miller and Katherine Waterson

- Standout music: Volker Bertlemann's Our Land.

- Chronology: 1381 England.

The Uprising (2026) might have fumbled it's marketing by not presenting itself as a Robin Hood tale but it's a movie that definitely got better in its second half and delivered the reveal in quite a satisfying way.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of Buddy (2026)

 

Written by Casper Kelly And Jamie King

Directed by Casper Kelly

Freddy: "I hate Buddy, yes I do. I hate, I hate, I hate you. Stab your heart and kick your knee. Buddy, you're my enemy. Get an axe, chop off your head. I wish you were fucking dead!"

How about a horror film in which a popular 90s children tv icon got changed enough so the makers of this movie wouldn't get sued? Seems reasonable enough, huh?

Instead of a purple dinosaur, let's look at orange unicorn Buddy (Keegan Michael-Key) and his popular TV show Its Buddy. It's a feel good kind of world, as long as you do everything that Buddy asks of you.

If you're a child who doesn't feel like dancing or you ask too many questions, then Buddy's got a not so friendly side to his colourful personality that's all too bloody. Also if you happen to be a parent of a child you forgot about, you're the closest to an adult threat to Buddy's perfect world.

This would be where Grace (Cristin Milioti) fitted into the story. She turned out to be the real mother of child protagonist Freddy (Delaney Quinn) and while her husband, Ben (Topher Grace) was quick to dismiss her concern, Grace ended up being reunited with her daughter in a very violent children's world.

Yes, the violence I think would be a tiny step above the average segment of an Itchy And Scratchy sketch. Buddy had a very gleeful disregard for those who even mildly annoyed him and his true form was anything but cute.

I wouldn't say he's the scariest baddie but he's an effective menace as Grace, Freddy and other characters did their best to stay alive and Buddy's reign of terror. The ending was more unexpected than I thought it would be as well.

- There's some strong supporting performances from Patton Oswalt, Michael Shannon and Eric Bauza.

- There are eighteen kills with over half of them being human ones.

- Standout music: Tiny Lyn's The Wrong Place In Town.

- Chronology: Freddy was missing for years and her existence wiped from Grace and Ben until Grace started to remember her.

Buddy (2026) could've simply been a lazy horror pastiche of a certain purple dinosaur but it decided to try and be a bit more than that. It's a surprisingly effecting movie with strong performances from everyone involved.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of American Horror Story: 13 - The Return Of Devil's Night

 

Written by Ned Martel And Charlie Carver 

Directed by Crystle Roberson Dorsey 

James: "That's right folks. The Cortez Devils are dining out tonight."

If you were missing the Coven ladies and were also craving some chaos from the Cortez Devils, then this episode might have soothed your soul. The best part - there's more to come from this clashing of worlds.

Now I know at the end of his season that James Patrick March (Evan Peters) had declared an end to killing but this happens to be a new era and he's clearly working for Mr. Nas and if the latter wanted thirteen witches dead, then James was going to deliver on that front. Or at least give it a very good try.

Now, his crew comprised of real life killers - Richard Ramirez (Zach Villa), Jeffrey Dahmer (Seth Gabel) and the Zodiac Killer. I can understand bringing these figures back but alternatively, I think there was a missed opportunity not bringing past foes like Dandy Mott, Bloody Face, Margaret Booth or the Mai Tai Killer. Oh well, Chaos was still to be had. Did James actually kill our current Supreme?

Cordelia's been a bit of a doom and gloomer this season, something which Madison has teased her for while Queenie (Gabourey Sidibe) and Mallory (Billie Lourd) have expressed concern about it. Cordelia didn't exactly react well to when Morwenna (Alex Consani) started manifesting advanced powers. Morwenna also came across as obnoxious and annoying, which also didn't help things.

I do find it interesting that after taking both Madison and Queenie's words to heart, Cordelia attempted to communicate with her late mother. I genuinely thought that Fiona was going to show up at the end of this episode but it wasn't meant to be. Fortunately she'll be back next week and the Coven definitely need her right about now.

I think where this episode did lose points for me was that despite what James appeared to do to Cordelia, her "death" won't be lasting. She'll probably be back by the end of next week's first half of their double bills. Cordelia's gone up against much worse than Jams Patrick March.

- James likened a car that can drive itself to a Headless Horseman. He was a bit perturbed by Jeffrey's use of Grindr.

- Madison wanted to make s'mores and watch porn when it seemed like communication with Fiona had failed.

- Coco (Leslie Grosssman) has upgraded in her powers, though her pep talk to Ophelia wasn't helpful.

- Has Mallory filled Cordelia and the Coven in on the true events of Apocalypse? She seemed very shifty.

- Despite what Fiona did, I found it funny that Madison still admired her. Queenie on the other hand didn't share the same stance.

- Chronology: We were in New Orleams for this episode. No Apollyon or related characters appeared here. 

It's the first of a two part story of sorts. The Return Of Devil's Night was a welcome return of both the Coven and the Cortez Devils and I'm looking forward to the situation getting much worse in next week's episodes. The strongest of the three episodes that were released this week.

Rating: 7 out of 10

My Review of American Horror Story: 13 - Date Night

 

Written by Ned Martel And Charlie Carver 

Directed by Jesse Peretz

Ben (to Ashley): "Why am I so fucking lame?"

Following the reveal that Ben DeSoto and Mr. Nas are indeed related, this episode only seemed to further double down on such a thing. It also decided to have Ben and Kira's not so best friend Ashley (Elle Chapman) have sex too.

I'm not gonna lie. I wish Ben was a gay or a bisexual character as we've had more than enough straight male protagonists in this universe. In the space of five episodes, Ben has undeniably not landed with some viewers in the same way that Michael Langdon had done when Apocalypse had aired. What's not working with the guy?

For me, it's his hook ups with women. They feel forced. Kira felt forced and she's given quite the scathing posthumous analysis by Ashley. Ashley herself actually felt deliberately forced. Throughout the episode, her connection to Ben was forced and I think I know why that was.

Again, lack of romantic/sexual chemistry between Ben and Ashley to one side, the latter instigated everything here. Yet again, for a protagonist, Ben possesses very little agency as a character. Ashley texted him to arrange a date, got him to open up about his 13 fear, being a foster kid and made sure to point out his tramp stamp. She completely drove the narrative.

Putting it bluntly, she's obviously working for Mr. Nas and Ben's on the cusp of actually figuring out his own origin story. I guess, technically, Ben still isn't the Antichrist but he's clearly got a role to play in Nas's overall plan, whether he wants to or not. I guess we will see Ben rebel against Daddy at some point.

I also gotta say, Ben must be either a flipping masochist or just a danger magnet because how does he attract both Kira and Ashley? Both wanted to control him, though Ashley seems to be subtle about it to Ben. Also thanks to spoilers to future episodes, it does seem like she won't be around for much longer. 

- Ben was born on Friday 13th, dead biological parents, overprotective neighbours looking out for him, six sets of foster parents and a woman named Martha who died on his 13th birthday.

- Do many straight men own a book by John Waters? Genuinely curious. Funny how Joey Pollari and John Waters have had scenes together this season. Maybe Ben could be bisexual after all. 

- Ashley encountered Piggy Man at a family wedding in 2020 and survived it. I think she was lying about being afraid of 13. I think she did a lot of things to deliberately get close to Ben. She also had skin graphs of pig skin.

- Joey Pollari was the only regular actor who appeared in this episode. That's never happened before. 616 was branded above Ben's backside.

- A few others survived the plane crash (which was near the Bermuda Triangle), including the pilot. Ben also called the parents of Kira's friends out of survivor's guilt and more dictator bones are being robbed.

- Chronology: From where the previous episode left off. Nas spied on Ben at the start of the episode.

Date Night might be one of the worst received episodes I've seen but I think I actually liked it better on second viewing. As long as the show doesn't repeat Michael's story through Ben and it seems like they won't, there's still potential here. It's a good showcase for Joey Pollari and some of his other assets. Look, I just like Ben DeSoto okay?

Rating: 7 out of 10

My Review of American Horror Story: 13 - Is That All There Is?

 

Written by Ned Martel And Charlie Carver 

Directed by Alfonso Gomez-Rejon

Elsa: "When it was over, I said to myself 'is that all there is to a fire?'"

Jessica Lange, the woman you are. For this episode, she got to play three different roles and while one of them wasn't for very long, she did with aplomb nonetheless. Aren't we lucky to have her back?

Elsa Mars should be in a Heaven of her own ideal but it seems like she's been dragged into Mr. Nas (Paul Anthony Kelly) storyline and providing a show for the Jezebel sacrifices. Yup, some of the most scandalous women like Eva Braun, Jezebel, Brigette Bardot and Margaret Thatcher (Jessica Lange) were revived, only to be sacrificed. Of course, Elizabeth Short met her maker once again.

This was also the opportunity to get Sarah Paulson to reprise some of her less popular characters in order to be chucked straight into Hell. I hope you weren't too attached to the likes of Hypodermic Sally, Tuberculosis Karen and Mamie Eisenhower because they really were just brought back to be killed off. Oh and when the numbers didn't add up, Ms. Venable was a little too happy to throw herself into Hell for the cause to boot.

There's no ambiguity with this episode. Mr Nas is Satan and poor little Ben DeSoto is his son. There's a deeper dive into that bit in the next episode. In this one, Ben was yet again drugged and gaslit by Mr. Nas, Constance and Mr. Phibes. It really wasn't his episode whatsoever.

Putting the Ben revelation to one side (I'll take my lumps there, that boy's pretty fucked up), I liked that this episode did a dive into both Phibes and Constance's motives for throwing their lot in with the Devil himself. Phibes thought of the big break he never got and Constance wanted to be a mother again. No wonder they were easily tempted.

I'll give Paul Anthony Kelly his dues for making a solid first impression as the younger Mr. Nas, though Fedor Steer isn't gone just yet. Paul's version of Nas was mostly in flashbacks with Constance but his scene with Ben was present day. Yet, he's not reached the 100 mark as of yet. Not long to go I guess.

- Paul the Illustrated Seal (Mat Fraser) was a part of Elsa's act. No real reason for him to be there to be honest.

- Jessica Lange did a decent English accent as Margaret Thatcher. I almost wished we'd seen a bit more of her.

- How many sons does Satan have? Did Ben grow up naturally or have an accelerated age rate like Michael did?

- Phibes got tricked by a trade and won't turn down certain acts or a drink. Maybe he'll get his biker movie after all.

- Standout music: Elsa got to sing Is That All There Is? Well, talk sing it at least.

- Chronology: It picked up exactly where the previous episode left off. 

Is That All There Is? did have fun sharply shooting through the thirteen leading ladies needed for this particular sacrifice. I'm glad we got the reveals for Constance, Phibes and Ben so quickly and there's some delightfully batshit moments within this particular episode.

Rating: 7 out of 10