My Review of Suspiria (2018)

 

Written by David Kajganich

Directed by Luca Guadagnino

Susie: "Why is everyone so ready to think the worst is over?"

About two years ago, I watched the 1977 version of this particular movie and I've been meaning to catch up with this remake. Watching the latest season of a certain show motivated me into seeking this out.

Luca Guadagnino as a director was coming off the success of Call Me By Your Name and this was an interesting follow up choice to make. The original movie is a highly regarded horror classic. Could Guadagnino at least compliment that with his own interpretation? He certainly gave it a good try.

The focus was on American dance student, Susanna "Susie" Bannion (Dakota Johnson). She had headed over to Berlin to join a dance academy where her dance moves had quite the effect on fellow classmate, Olga (Elena Fokina). Let's just say that things don't go very well for Olga following that particular moment.

In fact, things at that academy seemed to be quite sinister and it led to both Susie and Sara (Mia Goth) to investigating things. There's also another student in Patricia (Chloe Grace Moretz) who's given some needed focus and then there's Tilda Swinton herself.

She's been a long time collaborator of Luca Guadagnino and with this movie he awarded her three roles. Tilda got to play Madame Blanc, Mother Helena Markos and Dr. Josef Klemperer respectively. She certainly played all three roles with aplomb and did a brilliant job in making each of them stand out as well.

Of course, the most dynamic performance throughout the film turned out to be Dakota Johnson herself. Mostly when this film got to the Mother Suspiriorum part of things and her final scene with Klemperer. By far the best moments in this whole affair.

- There's a lot of the film dedicated to a Nazi Germany but it's relevant enough for certain characters.

- Jessica Harper, who was the protagonist of the original made a cameo appearance in this one.

- Standout music: Chloe Grace Moretz's Fairest Of The Season.

- Chronology: 1977 Berlin.

Suspiria (1977) doesn't quite hit the same craziness as it's 1977 counterpart but it's a damn great attempt nonetheless. There's some truly brilliant central performance from both Dakota Johnson and Tilda Swinton alike.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of American Horror Story: 13 - Rauhnacht

 

Written by Ned Martel And Charlie Carver 

Directed by Crystle Roberson Dorsey 

Winter (to Kai, re Constance): "She's really hitting that thirteen thing extra hard, right?"

If there was any confusion that this season wasn't all about the number 13 and everything significant about it, how about a snarky line from Winter to further drive the point home for good measure? Yes, Constance is pushing the number thirteen hard.

In particular with the unfortunate Bkack Dahlia aka Miss Elizabeth Short. This was a great episode for Mena Suvari. She gave the standout performance here. I mean, the sense of dread surrounding the poor woman was palpable. I knew it wasn't going to end well for her.

Constance, Tate, Kai, Adelaide and Winter were like vipers with the way they kept sizing up Elizabeth. The poor woman could barely remember her death and seemingly cannot remember her rebirth. Have all these returning faces been reborn? I'm presuming by Mr. Nas but at what cost?

When Elizabeth wasn't having pieces of her history referenced to her by others, she got led all the way down to the lower floor of the Apollyon. Winter talked about Club Hell and then Ms. Venable (Sarah Paulson) popped up at the very moment as a jump scare. Oh, Elizabeth, you should've declined that invitation to the Apollyon. It's not going to end well for her next week.

Then there's Ben. Our sweet heroic leading man made for a distressed dude when Constance decided to drug him and mess with his memories. Tate wanted to dispose of Ben but as predicted, he's needed alive for reasons that hopefully will be made clear within next week's triple bills. Never accept beverages from Constance. That's a lesson for Ben to learn when he gets his memories back.

As for the rest of the episode, a part of my heart has warmed with the new found closeness that Constance now has with Tate and Adelaide. I'm also enjoying the Tate/Adelaide vs. Kai/Winter rivalry as well. That elevator scene with those four and an unsuspecting Elizabeth needed to be longer because it was the best scene in this episode.

- There was some flashbacks to the events of Murder House to fill in bits of Elizabeth's story.

- The shortest episode in the series, clocking in 22 minutes. Oddly the strongest one too.

- Joe the Doorman (Berto Colon) seemed a bit too enthusiastic in setting those dogs on Ben. Constance really went in with some racial stereotyping when Ben rightfully called out her smoking.

- Winter didn't appreciate Adelaide's Christmas puns but didn't mind Constance's summary of her name. There's still issues between her and Kai.

- Standout music: Midnight Masquerade played in the background during Elizabeth's scenes.

- Chronology: Rauhnacht is a German pagan ritual that focuses on 13 wishes. They're on the thirteenth night, so we're into January in New York.

Rauhnacht made for a short but strong episode. A further tragic story for the Black Dahlia with Constance, Tate, Kai, Adelaide and Winter leading Elizabeth to her doom. The Ben scenes were more subdued (as was he) and I did like that Venable appearance at the end.

Rating: 7 out of 10

My Review of American Horror Story: 13 - 1:13 am

 

Written by Ned Martel And Charlie Carver

Directed by Crystle Roberson Dorsey

Constance (to Ben): "I said to myself, 'Constance, don't mire in the mud like a pig. Get out there and give back.'"

Two episodes in and I can't decide if Ben DeSoto is more like a lamb to the slaughter or a deer caught in the headlights. He's so out of his depth and in a job that a smart person would've likely quit by now. At least he's pretty, right?

He notices things about Mr. Nas that are understandably unusual but almost allowed himself to be fobbed off by Constance's clear bullshit and lies. I should give him some credit for trying to find out the meaning of sunflowers and their connection to 13 while talking to his boss about Mr. Nas. That's more assertive than Anna Victoria Alcott ever was.

Ben and Constance, I'm not gonna lie. I find her interactions with him incredibly creepy and especially when she was filling him in on her husband's adultery and how she dealt with a certain maid at the time. Ben should be more terrified of her than he actually is. Constance's motherly act won't spare him if he's too much of a nuisance for her.

Speaking of motherly act - we actually got to see the return of both Adelaide (Jamie Brewer) and Tate (Evan Peters), with the latter decked out as Rubber Man. Why are both of them back? I think it's obvious that Constance sought a higher power for their return. She might have even traded something for it, so to speak.

Anyways, it wasn't just just Constance's children back. Evan Peters got to act alongside himself as Kai Anderson was also back. Kai being such a dick to both Tate and Adelaide was a delight to watch. I can't believe I missed him but this rivalry between Kai/Tate is something I want to see a lot of this season. Oh and Winter (Billie Lourd) returned too with the Black Dahlia (Mena Suvari) in tow. That led to a nicer cliffhanger ending compared to the more abrupt ending of the first episode.

Last but not least, Twisty the Clown (John Carroll Lynch) rocked up to kill a clown college ran by the unfortunate Ricochet (Tig Notaro). Twisty also reminded everyone that clowns weren't funny. Why was Twisty back? No idea, but his actions got Ben's attention, so I'm hoping those two share a scene together later in the season.

- Mr. Phibes has a snake on his person and why are him and Constance trying to get Mr. Nas to 90?

- Ben's birthday was acknowledged when he watched a video with him and Kira. He also won on a scratch card but he didn't collect his winnings due to a cat scratching him.

- Adelaide talked about the wolf moon and doesn't seem to remember she died. Kai called Tate a basement dweller, showing a lack of awareness on his part.

- Ben seems to rely on AI a lot, doesn't he? Is the show trying to allude to him as Judas? Constance gave him German biscuits and Sanka.

- While more cast members appeared here, certain ones also didn't and likely won't until the second half of the season.

- Chronology: Shortly from where the first episode left off. Ben was dreaming at 1:13am and Twisty killed that clown school in Los Angeles at 10:13pm.

1:13am did make for a somewhat better episode than the first one did. Ben's thirteen story was interesting enough but the slew of returning characters certainly livened things up considerably more. Ben, you in danger, boy.

Rating: 7 out of 10

My Review of American Horror Story: 13 - 13

 

Written by Ryan Murphy And Brad Falchuk

Directed by Ryan Murphy

Ben (to the therapist): "I have a fear of the number thirteen."

Oh, he certainly does. Otherwise known as triskaidekaphobia. Let's meet Ben DeSoto (Joey Pollari). A seemingly nice but maybe a little wet behind the ears kind of guy. He's got a girlfriend named Kira (Madaleine Petsch) and in an attempt to salvage their relationship, he decided to get on a plane. The plane crashed. Ben survived and so did one other person. Kira, not so much.

Am I terrible person for being glad that Kira and most of her friends died? Maybe but I'm not going to feel bad about it. The lack of chemistry between Ben and Kira. There's no way any of us could've tolerated that for a whole season. They barely had any screentime as a couple and weren't the slightest bit believable. 

Anyways, dead girlfriends to one side, Ben ended up in the Apollyon, which was a rather creepy looking building. He was there to look after the infirm Mr. Nas (Fedor Steer) as the night time care. He also had the pleasure of meeting both Constance Langdon (Jessica Lange) and phlebotomist Mr. Phibes (John Waters). Throw in a rather overextended sponge bath scene for poor old Nas and you've got too much filler here.

Getting back to Constance, I've always found her to be an enigmatic but untrustworthy person. This hasn't changed as it was made clear that she wasn't being totally honest with Ben about herself or Mr. Nas. Ben on the other hand didn't seem to be asking too many questions.

Then there was his alone time with Nas. The man looked like a dessicated corpse in front of the palliative nurse. Before interacting with Ben, he was able to stand up and expel black fluid. Funny how that happened during Ben not dying in a plane crash. How the hell is Ben DeSoto alive? He shouldn't be, right?

For those of you anticipating the Coven side of things, well you get about two minutes worth of it. Cordelia Goode (Sarah Paulson) was training up new girl Ophelia (Avantika) while Madison Montgomery (Emma Roberts) got to redo that line for a 2026 audience. Madison got to dismiss Cordelia's concerns as well, which didn't seem wise on her part.

- The opening credits alluded to previous seasons but over half the cast didn't even appear in this first episode.

- Ben counts thirteen a lot and likes the Evermore album. I don't think he's really a Swiftie. Ben has Italian heritage. Constance referred to him as Benny.

- Madison and Constance's return from the dead and arrival in the Apollyon aren't really explained here. 

- The other survivor was played by Elle Chapman. We will see her later in the season.

- Standout music: Johnny Cash's Thirteen was used pretty well.

- Chronology: Ben was dating Kira for two months before she died. He started working at the Apollyon a month after her death.

13 opened the season on an odd note. Joey Pollari might be well suited to Ben DeSoto but the character definitely has a passive nature that endangers him of being drowned out by the bigger characters in the season. I think this episode needed a big action piece and that should've been the plane crash but it didn't quite hit.

Rating: 6 out of 10

The Future Of Ryan Murphy Shows: Part 5

Today's the day that American Horror Story: 13 finally premieres on FX/Hulu/Disney+ and last night's premiere in New York with the cast and crew revealed so much stuff from the world of Ryan Murphy. Let's break stuff down.

After two and half years off the air, American Horror Story: 13 will tell one of the biggest crossover events in the show's history. There's so many returning actors/characters, iconic fan favourites to look forward to within a new story focusing on the number 13. The season is being anchored by Joey Pollari and Paul Anthony Kelly's respective characters, Ben DeSoto and Mr. Nas. By now, there are almost too many spoilers out there, so I'll say only one other thing because how can I not?

Remember when Ariana Grande was supposed to be part of the new season but dropped out? Apparently, she was going to reprise her role of Chanel #2 from Scream Queens. Even in 2026, that short lived show continues to have a lasting legacy. Circling back to American Horror Story, it seems that an international version of the show could be in the works.

Back to network television, the upcoming seasons of both 9-1-1 and 9-1-1: Nashville will premiere next month. October 15th on ABC to be specific. The former show will be tackling a volcanic disaster while the latter will tackle killer bees and will see the debut of Ryan Philippe's detective Rogue. There's also some plot involving a serial killer too. I'll be honest, I'll be dropping both shows after their upcoming seasons.

Speaking of Ryan Murphy shows that I've struggled with, the second season of FX/Hulu's All's Fair will drop it's first three episodes from November 5th and will air into December. I recently finished The Shards and personally, I wouldn't recommend it as a show. The Beauty has effectively been cancelled but it seems like Netflix's The Watcher may be returning for a second season. Ryan Murphy also revealed last month that he has a vampire drama in the works that will start filming in Europe from December. Expect the cast to be announced soon.

It's been a week since Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story was released on Netflix. I watched in a day and my review's up. Like with previous seasons, this Ella Beatty led one certainly divided audience and critics alike. It also debuted with 12.1 million views during its first weekend, so expect a fifth season renewal fairly soon. Ian Brennan has also expressed having ideas for ten seasons of the popular anthology series.

Last but not least - could we actually be getting a revival of popular FOX show, Glee? Personally, we shouldn't but Ryan Murphy has written a script and contacted ten cast members from the original show. I think it's gonna at least film a pilot within the next year or two. Whether or not it'll get picked up to series, I'm not so sure. I do think some things should be left in the past. 

That's a round up of all of Ryan Murphy's shows for the time being. Some interesting stuff, huh?

My Review of Moonraker (1979)

 

Written by Christopher Wood 

Directed by Lewis Gilbert 

Sir Frederick Gray: "My God, what's Bond doing?"

Q: "I think he's attempting re-entry, sir."

At this point, I'm about halfway into Roger Moore's era as James Bond and how about a space themed movie? That was somewhat the idea for this one. However, for the most part this movie was actually on Terra Firma itself. It's around the third act that we go up into space.

Also, do you remember henchman Jaws (Richard Kiel)? He was in the previous film, left quite an impression and made it out of that film alive. I should mention that he's back once again to cause problems for James Bond and later, he's kind of helpful.

I really liked Jaws and having him back for seconds was a delight. He's still a formidable physical threat to James Bond and while he's working for the villain of the piece, Jaws also had a girlfriend named Dolly (Blanche Ravalec). I'll admit that I found their little love story rather sweet to watch.

Anyways, getting to the villain themselves, I can't say that I particularly rate Hugo Drax (Michael Lonsdale). He's a fairly generic industrialist type who threatened to poison the Earth. He might be one of the most blandest Bond villains to date if I'm being honest.

In terms of Bond girls, I found Holly Goodhead (Lois Chiles) more of a mixed bag. There some okay enough chemistry between Holly and James and even being stuck in space and having an audience will do nothing to quell James's rampant libido. The ending pretty much ripped off the ending of the previous movie too.

- This was Bernard Lee's last appearance as M. 

- Originally, it was supposed to be For Your Eyes Only (1981) but that got pushed to the next movie.

- Standout music: Shirley Bassey's Moonraker.

- Chronology: England, Venice and Rio de Janeiro as well as outer space and the moon.

Moonraker might be more middle of the road with a bland central villain and not utilising the idea as well as it could have done. On the plus side, I did enjoy seeing more of Jaws.

Rating: 6 out of 10 

My Review of The Last Kiss (2026)

 

Written by Yoko Okumura And Krystal Houghton Ziv And Alon Ziv

Directed by Yoko Okumura 

Laurel: "Whenever I kiss people, I think I can see how they're gonna die."

I genuinely think I've seen this movie before. Do you ever get that feeling when watching a movie? It's a new release but the story felt so familiar. Oh well, here we go.

Aimed for a younger audience than moi, this film focused on high school student Laurel Hansen (Mckenna Grace). She hasn't had her first kiss, unlike her best friend, Poppy (Arkira Chantaratananond) and that's the least of her problems in this film.

Laurel's problems began with a field trip that resulted in a near fatal disaster for everyone. Laurel ended up getting her first kiss with Leo. Except Leo got impaled and that would open a big fan of worms for Laurel. Turns out there's a downside to kissing for Laurel.

The downside being that anyone Laurel happened to kiss, she saw how they would die. That somewhat detailed things between her and main love interest, Evan Gellar (Jaden Michael). She kept seeing how he would die and it involved a serial killer. On the plus side, Poppy had a peaceful future death and actually believed Laurel's story until the latter suspected Poppy's dad, Randy (Ash Lee) of being the killer. It's not him by the way.

It's also not Leo's brother, Noah but it was easy to see why Laurel suspected him. Noah's turn to religion seemed a bit off and he would have a motive, considering Leo's violent death. However he turned out to be innocent.

The actual killer was Poppy's boyfriend, Tyler McKinley (Riley Davis). His mother was committed and his hopes for getting out of town were gone. His motives made sense and he nearly killed more people until Laurel stopped him and her kissing visions. It's a pretty neatly wrapped up conclusion to proceedings.

- This was a digital release from last week. It was barely promoted.

- Tyler wore a white mask when he was carrying out his kills.

- Standout music: Dark Dark Dark's Daydreaming.

- Chronology: Present day with a year time jump at East Hart High School.

The Last Kiss (2026) isn't going to be on anyone's favourite horror lists for this year or probably on many least favourite lists. It's a serviceable enough teen slasher with a pleasant performance from Mckenna Grace.

Rating: 6 out of 10 

My Review of The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

 

Written by Christopher Wood And Richard Maibaum

Directed by Lewis Gilbert 

Sir Frederick Gray, Minister of Defence: "Bond! What do you think you're doing?"

James Bond: "Keeping the British end up, sir."

I'm getting into the swing of the Roger Moore era of James Bond and this was definitely an interesting take as it's probably the least book faithful of the Bond movies. It's almost a different film in itself.

The movie started with British and Soviet ballistic submarines suddenly vanish and there's a nice ski chase with Bond being pursued by the likes of Sergei Barsov (Michael Billington). He's also the lover of Anya Amasova (Barbara Bach).

She's on the side of the Soviets and an agent named XXX. She's also more than capable of giving James a run for his money and there's some undeniably strong sexual chemistry between the pair. I mean their chemistry's so good, it led to a truly funny final line in the movie.

Of course when James and Anya weren't flirting and sparring with one another, there was also the villain of the piece. Karl Stromberg (Curtis Jurgens) was a megalomaniac who wanted to cause World War III and destroy the world. He's definitely got the boo hiss baddie vibe and he's given a suitable death to boot.

However, it's not Stromberg who stood out the most. This was the movie that debuted Jaws (Richard Kiel). It's quite a movie when the henchman outshone the actual villain itself but looks at Jaws. He's a formidable foe that I enjoyed immensely and I'm glad that he survived this film.

- There's a solid performance from Caroline Munro as Stromberg's pilot and would be assassin, Naomi. 

- I did love the car that James and Anya could function underwater. That was a cool scene.

- Standout music: Carly Simon's Nobody Does It Better.

- Chronology: Set in Austria as well as Sardinia.

The Spy Who Loved Me might be the horniest film in the James Bond series but it's also a lot of fun and it debuted Jaws himself. It's hard not to have a good time with this one.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of Lanterns: "Bad Optics"

 

Written by Justin-Britt Gibson And Damon Lindelof

Directed by Stephen Williams 

John (re Hal): "Of course you wrote your own fucking eulogy."

After five episodes that were mostly in 2016 Rushville, it's nice that we're in 2026 just so recent events can be referenced and the main issue from the first episode can be addressed.

Yes, I'm talking about the death of Hal Jordan. Even now, I'm still not convinced he's actually dead. Yes, we saw a body. Yes, we hard that minimalist funeral but something just seems off about the whole thing. 

I can see why Hal Jordan fans might not like a lot of what this episode did. The debacle with the Manhunters had him serve prison time and become a much hated figure publicly. Not that John's viewed in a much positive light either.

As the man who rejected the ring, he became an architect and ran a business with Marcus trying to install panic rooms. He also wanted an apology from Hal and was the last to see Hal before the latter was murdered. Did John kill Hal? Obviously not. 

John got some great scenes with both Kerry and an older Noah (Shea Prichard). John even got to meet both Guy Gardner (Nathan Fillion) and Carol Ferris (Amie MacKenzie). It's nice that the latter does exist in the DCU but it also looks like this version never became Star Sapphire, which is a bit disappointing.

As for Hal, we've got two episodes left to either solve his murder if he's actually dead or two episodes to explain why he faked his death. I'm still rooting for Hal to actually be alive and yes, I think it's likely that he broke Sinestro out of prison. 

- I had forgotten about Hal's pet plant, Earl until John had to feed it. Hal and Carol were estranged.

- Guy's ring is his own. He stole Hal's from Oa, even risking being sent to the Phantom Zone. He's also an athletic director (gym teacher) and set up his own beacon in Rushville.

- Maggie the waitress wanted reparations from John, Kerry and Billy separated, she got involved with Hal and Noah has political aspirations. John was also funding Aaron's album.

- Events from both The Suicide Squad (2021) and Superman (2025) were mentioned in this episode. Batman was also referenced.

- Standout music: Dan Auerbach's Heartbroken, In Disrepair.

- Chronology: 2026 Rushville for most of the episode.

Bad Optics was a scathing look into the man formerly known as Hal Jordan with John and Guy getting an interesting first meeting. I hope these next two episodes stick the landing regardless of whether Hal's alive or dead.

Rating: 8 out of 10 

Doctor Who - Tender Times Are A Coming!

I joke but yes, a few months ago upon this year's Christmas special of Doctor Who getting cancelled this news has resurfaced.

Officially announced a few days ago, any production company can shoot their shot and pitch ideas on how to revitalise the show for a modern audience. While there are no specifics on casting for the 16th Doctor or even episode counts, there's a desire to try to get the show back in production by 2028/2029 as well as a possibility of it continuing to film in Cardiff. With any luck, this hopefully will see a positive change for the show moving forward. I'll post more concrete news as it presents itself.

While the main show itself might off air, the multimedia event saga also known as Circuit Breaker has had Jo Martin's Fugitive Doctor rather busy and has been single handledly keeping the Doctor Who social pages mostly alive. Better than that, this event has brought about the much welcomed return of Freema Agyeman's Martha Jones. You can read the Fugitive Doctor and Martha's reunion in the books The Kaleidoscope by Jo Martin and the short story The Doctor And The Three Witches in Time Lord Fairy Tales.

Last but not least, it's been over nine months since BBC1 released spinoff series, The War Between The Land And The Sea. According to Russell Tovey, who played Barclay Pierre-Dupont in the show, Disney+ will supposedly release it in 2027. The latter themselves have yet to comment on this. Personally, I'm not holding my breath and I suspect anyone outside the UK/Ireland who has wanted to see this show already did through other means.

I'll keep posting further updates on the Whoinverse when they become available.

My Review of Tony (2026)

 

Written by Matt Johnson And Matthew Miller And Todd Bartels And Lou Howe

Directed by Matt Johnson 

Tony: "You know I can cook too."

Okay, I've watched enough horror, spies and axe murderers this week, so I thought I'd opt for something different. You know, a biopic on a recently deceased chef with a promising actor from an Oscar nominated movie in the lead role.

Yup, I'm talking about this take on the celebrated Anthony "Tony" Bourdain with Dominic Sessa in the lead role. This film would cover a small portion into Bourdain's life. Think of it as an origin story of sorts.

The portion being Bordain wanting to be a writer and applying to a writing fellowship in New York City. This was something he had no problem using in trying to impress a girl named Nancy (Emilia Jones) with mixed results. His own parents on the other hand - Pierre (Rich Sommer) and Gladys (Dagmara Domińczyk) were a bit trickier to get around.

Anyways, Tony didn't get the fellowship, so he got blind drunk, got mugged and conveniently ended up in Provincetown where he "forgot" that Nancy also happened to be. Then he ended up in the 1970s version of The Bear while figuring his shit out and hooking up with Nancy. 

The movie did liven up a bit with characters like Chef José Vatel (Antonio Banderas) and restaurant workers such as Sal (Leo Woodall), Stavros (Stavros Halkias) and Mary (Monica Raymund). As characters, they're a mixed bag but they certainly do humble and challenge Bourdain within the film itself.

Things did move along as Anthony had a thing with Nancy that was built on lies while his writing aspirations also didn't waver. The end scene really did feel like it should've been the beginning of a more detailed look into the man's life.

- Originally this did start out as a Black List script before it was pitched to Matt Johnson.

- There's a cameo appearance from Eric Rupert, who appeared at the end.

- Standout music: Eric Burdon and War's Magic Mountain.

- Chronology: 1975 and 1979 in New York and Provincetown.

Tony made for an undercooked biopic on the late Anthony Bourdain. Dominic Sessa did give a commendable lead performance and there's fine support but not enough to make this risible.

Rating: 6 out of 10 

My Review of The Man With The Golden Gun (1974)

 

Written by Richard Maibaum And Tom Mankiewicz

Directed by Guy Hamilton 

James Bond: "I admit killing you would be a pleasure."

Francisco Scaramanga: "Then you should have done that when you first saw me. But then, of course, the English don't consider it sporting to kill in cold blood, do they?"

James Bond: "Don't count on that."

After the rather disappointing Live And Let Die (1973), I'm pleased to say that Roger Moore's second outing as James Bond was far more enjoyable. The presence of a certain also helping the matter.

Let's talk about the title villain, shall we? Whoever decided to cast horror icon Christopher Lee as assassin Francisco Scaramanga deserves a raise. He's utterly brilliant in this role as the three nipple baddie with a golden gun and bullets to boot.

He played off Roger Moore's Bond brilliant, proving to be quite the credible threat to 007. His use of subterfuge almost worked on Bond until it didn't. I even felt a little bad when he was defeated. I would've liked him as a returning threat to James.

Then there was Scaramanga's diminutive manservant, Nick Nack (Hervé Villechaize). He's another standout character and in spite of his stature, he certainly knew how to keep James on his toes. Once again, I even felt bad for him when he was outsmarted by James at the end of the film.

As for the love interests in the film - did James really have a serious relationship with Mary Goodnight (Britt Ekland)? It was certainly an improvement on what was seen with him and Solitaire from the previous movie. There was some genuine sparks between the two of them.

I couldn't end this review without mentioning the most incredible character that James spent time with in this film. I'm talking about Louisiana sheriff J.W. Pepper (Clifton James). Talk about a fun character to have while James was trying to rescue Goodnight and stop Scaramanga's whole plan.

- Maud Adams appeared as Andrea Anders, the girlfriend of Scaramanga. James had no problem threatening her to get to him.

- Moneypenny seemed a bit cooler with James than she did in previous films.

- Standout music: John Barry's The Man With The Golden Gun.

- Chronology: Largely set in Thailand as well as scenes in London, Beirut and Macau.

The Man With The Golden Gun was definitely a marked improvement for Roger Moore's second outing as James Bond. Throw in some great support from Christopher Lee and Britt Ekland and this one's a winner.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of Jaws: The Revenge (1987)

 

Written by Michael de Guzman

Directed by Joseph Sargent 

Michael: "Dad died of a heart attack!"

Ellen: "No. He died from fear. The fear of it killed him."

Okay and I thought the worst sequel in 1987 was Superman IV: The Quest For Peace. I guess I was wrong, huh? Yup, this one really stank out the waters, huh?

A part of me has to wonder why these sequels insisted on continuing with the Brody family when it would've made more sense for each sequel to have featured different groups of people and in different locations.

Off screen, the hero of the first movie Martin Brody died, leaving his wife, Ellen (Lorraine Gary). If she wasn't a fan of the water beforehand, Martin's death along with youngest son, Sean (Mitchell Anderson) being killed early in the movie didn't improve her mood.

Older son, Michael (Lance Guest) took the lead once again and this time he had a wife named Carla (Karen Young) and daughter named Thea (Judith Barsi) to provide for. It turned out that Michael's previous shark encounters have done little to deter him from the waters. Even his family couldn't get him out of it.

There's conflict between Michael and Ellen over the latter believing the family was essentially cursed and also her budding romance with the rather valued, Hoagie (Michael Caine). I was actually shocked to see Caine in this movie.

Anyways, there's actually a good supporting performance from Mario Van Peebles as Michael's co-worker, Jake. He's actually a good friend/foil to Michael and even managed to survive nearly being mauled to death by the shark in question.

The third act was probably the strongest part but also felt like it was going through the motions with both Michael and Ellen having to resolve their issues and survive being shark food. Of course they made it out of this one alive.

- There's some archive footage of Roy Scheider from the first movie used in this film.

- Jake died in the original cut but kept alive in the revised ending.

- Standout music: Stacy Lattislaw's Nail To The Wall.

- Chronology: Set during the Christmas and New Year's period on Amity Island and the Bahamas.

Jaws: The Revenge might be one of the most boring sequels to any franchise going. Dull, lifeless and incredibly dreary from start to finish. Watch it if you're a completing, otherwise don't bother.

Rating: 4 out of 10 

My Review of Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story (Netflix Series, 2026)

 

Written by Ian Brennan

Directed by Max Winkler And Sarah Adina Smith

Lizzie (to Bridget): "Just let me have the first whack."

In the previous three seasons of Monster/s, we've seen audiences being wholly divided on the handling of Jeffrey Dahmer, Lyle and Erik Menendez and Ed Gein. It was definitely time to tackle an infamous American female killer. Funny how two of them factor into this fourth season with mixed results.

Over the last few months, I've watched some other depictions of Lizzie Borden in preparation for this show. Ella Beatty isn't a stranger to the world of Ryan Murphy as she's previously appeared in Feud: Capote Vs. The Swans and acquitted herself well there. She's finely cast here as Lizzie Borden herself but if I'm being honest, she's slightly upstaged by Vicky Krieps's constant hair changing Irish maid, Bridget Sullivan.

Krieps might be the ultimate standout of this season as a whole. As Bridget, there's the impact of her relationship with Lizzie, which did of course go down the Sapphic route between the two of them. She's also instrumental in the brutal deaths of Lizzie's father Andrew (Charlie Hunnam) and stepmother Abby Borden (Rebecca Hall). Oftentimes, I felt like I knew Bridget more than I knew Lizzie.

On top of that, Krieps also spent half the season playing the sadistic and bloodthirsty Countess Elizabeth Bathory. She's just as effective in that role as she was as Bridget. The more I think of it, the more it's clear that Krieps was the standout performance of the whole season.

While the Elizabeth Bathory plot managed to tie into Lizzie Borden's story better than expected, I'll admit the use of Aileen Wuornos was more of a mixed bag. Sarah Paulson gave the sort of performance that was solid work but some of the dialogue that tried to draw parallels between Aileen and Lizzie was very clunky at times. It didn't quite land as it should've done.

Getting back to Family Borden. Yup, they were a lot. Abby behaved like the typical evil stepmother while Andrew barely tolerated his daughters and second wife. Emma Borden (Billie Lourd) didn't care for Lizzie until the script needed her to and abandoned her when the script also required her to do so.

Then there's estranged uncle John Morse (Joey Pollari) himself. He's a guy who desperately wanted money he felt he was owed and tried and failed to be a foil to both Andrew and Lizzie at different points. There's a brief encounter with Abby that added little value to proceedings before he slipped out of the picture as quickly as he entered.

Another character who was a mixed bag was stage actress Nance O'Neil (Jessica Barden). I found the character grating to begin with but she won me over with the way she trained Lizzie for that trial. One of the campest performances in the entire season.

Now this had me thinking as well. The first three seasons were dead serious but tonally, it felt like this season was riffing the likes of Killing Eve and Fleabag. The season tried to say a lot about female rage and even ended on voting rights for women. It's handling of such topics aren't bad but definitely could've been tackled a little better.

- Episode titles are Bloodbath, Strong Kitty, Whack Job!, R.I.P. (Rest In Pestilence) Abby Borden, 41, Bed And Breakfast, The Trial Of The Century and Carnival.

- Andrew named all of his axes after women while John named his knives after men. John being a suspect was briefly referenced in the last episode.

- Other noteworthy performances were from Jessica Lee, Ari Graynor and Linda Reiter.

- Cherries were referenced a lot with the likes of Lizzie, Bridget, Abby and John all being fond of them. Both the fruit and the trees.

- Standout music: The Runaways Cherry Bomb, Bronski Beat's Smalltown Boy and Natalie Merchant's Carnival.

- Chronology: 1892 to 1911 in Falls River, Massachusetts as well as Montana. There was also 1500/1600s Hungary for Elizabeth Bathory and 1980s/1990s/2000s for Aileen Wuornos.

I think Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story was definitely an improvement on the previous season but not as strong as the first two seasons. It had things to say about female rage, prisons, misogyny and so on but the messages don't quite land the way they should. Ella Beatty was a good casting choice for Lizzie Borden but it's Vicky Krieps's dual roles of Bridget Sullivan and Elizabeth Bathory that was the standout of this season.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of Live And Let Die (1973)

 

Written by Tom Mankiewicz

Directed by Guy Hamilton

Solitaire: "Where's Kananga?"

James Bond: "He always did have an inflated opinion of himself."

It's a new era of James Bond. After six movies of Sean Connery (with one still on the horizon) and one adventure with George Lazenby, I'm on to the Roger Moore era of this franchise. This was a mixed bag of a start.

There's no doubt that Roger Moore would go on to be seen as successful as his predecessor but I'm not so sure if elements of this film have aged too well. It's certainly stereotyping in a way.

There's a slew of agents being killed off, which made up the first few minutes of this film. In different locations too. Take in the small Caribbean nation of San Monique and James had a dictator named Dr. Kananga/Mr Big (Yaphet Kotto). He's also a drug lord and not above sacrifices to boot.

One of the most memorable members of Kananga's posse was his psychic Solitaire (Jane Seymour). She can see things when the plot called for it and it took very little for her to seduce and betray James when the plot suited it. Kananga was also rather possessive of her and didn't take Kindly to the idea of her and Bond together. Kananga only tried and failed to kill both of them.

As a villain, there's a good performance from Yaphet Kotto and he's a physically imposing threat to Roger Moore's Bond. I just wish the writing for him was a lot more nuanced than it actually was. It's very stereotypical and not always in a good way.

Keeping with the unfortunate stereotyping - what was up with junior CIA agent, Rosie Carver? Despite a very charismatic performance from Gloria Hendry, she might be one of the worst written Bond girls I've seen so far and she's given a rather undignified death to boot.

- The son of Quarrel appeared in this film as did Moneypenny, Felix and M at different points. 

- Kananga's henchman was actually Baron Samedi (Geoffrey Holder) who also popped up to cause problems for James.

- Standout music: Paul McCartney Live And Let Die.

- Chronology: Scenes in both New York and the Carribean for this one.

Live And Let Die makes for a middle of the road debut for Roger Moore's James Bond with some of the film really feeling stereotypical and dates in parts. I wanted to like this one a lot more than I actually did. A tad disappointing.

Rating: 6 out of 10

My Review of Jaws 3-D (1983)

 

Written by Richard Matheson And Carl Gottlieb And Guerdon Trueblood

Directed by Joe Alves

Mike: "White sharks are dangerous. I know 'em. My father, my brother, myself. They're murderers."

It's usually around this time in a horror, there's an attempt to switch up the leading protagonist. This film ditched Martin Brody (kind of) and instead moved the focus on to his oldest son, Michael (Dennis Quaid).

Michael's older than we last seen him and he's got a girlfriend named Kathryn "Kay" Morgan (Bess Armstrong). Both of them are working at SeaWorld Orlando and once again, the great white shark would present itself as a major problem.

This time around you've got some cute dolphins also chucked into the mix but the mama shark who's not happy with the treatment of her baby was the star attraction. Those human really don't learn a damn thing, huh?

It's a sprawling and messy third outing with Michael and Kay as the main heroes of the piece. There's also the return of Sean (John Putch) and his girlfriend, Kelly Ann Bukowski (Lea Thompson), making up a younger group of protagonists compared to the first movie.

There's a few decent kills throughout the film, particularly with characters like Overman (Harry Grant) and FitzRoyce (Simon MacCorkindale). Once again, the shark got a rather explosive ending, finishing this film on a bloody note.

- The studio forced the inclusion of both Mike and Sean, which the writer thought was dumb. 

- I have to laugh at Roy Scheider making himself unavailable to be a part of this movie. He made the right call there.

- This was in an early cycle of 1980s movie to use 3D technology.

- Chronology: A few years since the events of the second movie and set in Orlando.

Jaws 3-D isn't a good movie. It's pretty trashy and most of the cast do look like they'd rather be anywhere else. There's a few entertaining moments but not many to save it.

Rating: 5 out of 10 

My Review of Diamonds Are Forever (1971)

 

Written by Richard Maibaum And Tom Mankiewicz

Directed by Guy Hamilton 

Blofeld: "Right idea, Mr. Bond..."

James Bond: "...But wrong pussy."

After a taste of a different Bond, we're back to Sean Connery for his penultimate take in the role and it's a rather vengeful version of the character.

Already I love the fact that the events of On Her Majesty's Secret Service formed the spine of this film. Tracy's death did a number on James and he was determined to make Blofeld (Charles Gray) pay for it. 

Of course given the title of this movie, diamonds were also a big thing here. There's a mission that involved Bond impersonating a diamond smuggler to infiltrate a smuggling ring. Blofeld also wanted diamond to build a space based laser weapon.

There's a genuinely funny in the film where Bond managed to convince others that he himself had killed James Bond. It's one of the best moments. There's also a plot involving Blofeld lookalikes in which James killed one of them. That was also particularly daft to watch.

Blofeld in these movies has increasingly become a great thorn in James's side and their confrontation here had a nice sense of finality. Was this genuinely the end for Blofeld? It certainly appeared to be. As a villain he had a good run of film and multiple actors playing him. This was probably the best time to take the character out of the equation.

As for the Bond girls, there's diamond smuggler Tiffany Case (Jill St. John) and Plenty O'Toole (Lana Wood). The latter's only memorable moments was landing in the pool while the former was a bad girl that sort of reformed while having to ally herself with Bond. After Tracy, I don't think either stood out as well as they could've.

- Again there's some good supporting moments from both Felix and Moneypenny in this movie. Bond also got his backside handed to him by Bambi and Thumper.

- Charles Gray previously played Henderson in You Only Live Twice.

- Standout music: Shirley Bassey's Diamonds Are Forever.

- Chronology: Las Vegas and California for most of the film.

Diamonds Are Forever was an enjoyable follow up to the previous film and marked a good ending to one of his most enduring enemies. It's also got one of the best theme tunes from the entire franchise.

Rating: 8 out of 10 

My Review of Hitchcock (2012)

 

Written by John J. McLaughlin

Directed by Sacha Gervasi 

Alfred: "I will never find a Hitchcock blonde as beautiful as you."

Alma: "Oh, Hitch. I've waited thirty years to hear you say that."

Alfred: "And that my dear, is why they call me the Master of Suspense."

Last year when I was watching Monster: The Ed Gein Story, I had some mixed feelings on the handling of the Psycho side of things. I also knew that I needed to watch this particular movie. That's what I got around to the other day.

This movie could be split into three different stories. There's the making of a certain movie by Alfred Hitchcock (Anthony Hopkins) and everything that came with it. Then there's also Hitchcock's marriage to Alma Revelle (Helen Mirren) and an exploration into his fixation on younger blonde leading ladies.

In priority, let's go with the production of Psycho first. The studio wanted another North By Northwest but Alfred wanted to make something that would shock the audience, even if he had to make certain sacrifices in order to get it done.

There's a look into some of his casting choices like Anthony Perkins (James D'Arcy), Janet Leigh (Scarlett Johansson), Vera Miles (Jessica Biel) and John Gavin (Josh Yeo). Oddly enough, Anthony's the least focused in that group of actors as the focus pivoted more towards Janet and Vera.

It's no secret that Hitchcock could be a menace to his leading ladies and I definitely like this movie attempted to address this but in a way that didn't add much to it. He's kind enough to Janet but he also admitted to derailing Vera because the latter became a mother.

The strongest aspect of the movie was anything involving Hitchcock's marriage to Alma. It's briefly threatened by her friendship with writer Whitfield Cook (Danny Huston) but they had an enduring marriage and thematically, it's the spine of this film. 

- Hitchcock had visions of Ed Gein (Michael Wincott) throughout the film. Ed's murder of his brother was the opening scene.

- Anthony's homosexuality (and Norman Bates being queer) and his own mommy issues were mentioned. Anthony also alluded to both Rope and Strangers On A Train.

- Standout music: Charles Gounod's Funeral March Of A Marionette.

- Chronology: It's set during the production and premiere of Psycho.

Hitchcock (2012) did lose points for not really giving a certain aspect the focus it needed. Overall, it's a strong look into the legendary director and his most infamous of works. Both Anthony Hopkins and Helen Mirren are fantastic.

Rating: 7 out of 10 

My Review of Jaws 2 (1978)

 

Written by Carl Gottlieb And Howard Sackler

Directed by Jeannot Szwarc

Martin Brody (to the shark): "All right, you big bastard! Come On! I've got something for ya' now! That's it! Attaboy, come one! Right over here! Open wide OPEN WIDE! SAY AAH!"

Now this and the next two movies are first time watches for me. Jaws becoming so popular it spawned threw bloody sequels. Are they any good? Not by reputation apparently but this first sequel was a decent attempt.

The film opened with the wreckage of the Orca and within a few minutes, two scuba divers ended up being killed. It's a good way to start the movie as of course, there would be another great white shark to cause havoc yet again.

Now, what about Martin Brody (Roy Scheider)? He was the hero of the previous movie but in this one, he's a source of ire for the incompetent mayor (Murray Hamilton) and lost his job to a younger colleague in Deputy Hendricks (Jeffrey Kramer). Oh and then there's his family too.

While his wife Ellen (Lorraine Grey) was supportive, his sons were definitely a source of frustration. Both Mike (Mark Gunnar) and Sean (Marc Gilpin) were both drawn to the water and both ended up nearly being shark fodder.

The third act was where things got interesting. It's not quite as impacting as the first time but it's still effective. The shark got some victims, there's a few tense moments and of course, another grisly shark death.

- The most memorable aspect was the tagline "just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water".

- Roy Scheider returned for this movie after leaving The Deer Hunter and not wanting to incur any further studio wrath.

- Standout music: Tony Hatch's Downtown.

- Chronology: Four years since the events of the first movie.

Jaws 2 turned out to be an okay sequel. It did rethread similar ground to the first one with the events of that also driving the narrative home. I didn't find it objectionable.

Rating: 6 out of 10

My Review of Jaws (1975)

 

Written by Peter Benchley And Carl Gottlieb

Directed by Steven Spielberg 

Brody: "You're gonna need a bigger boat."

Look, so far this year, I've watched at least two straight to streaming shark themed movies. For obvious reasons, it's madee go back to this particular movie. A movie, I should point out that I've ever watched once in my life and a very long, long time ago.

One of the most iconic movies ever and one of Steven Spielberg's most seminal of works. It's also pretty damn straightforward too. A local seaside town. One great white shark. Throw in a very flawed hero and you've got a movie classic.

The flawed hero being police chief Martin Brody (Rob Scheider). It was his responsibility to protect his town from the man eating shark and it was a task that he wasn't entirely up to. People died and it took getting slapped by a grieving woman to make him step to saving the town from that troublesome shark.

At least on that front, Brody teamed up with marine biologist Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss) and a professional shark hunter Quint (Robert Shaw) to actually try to stop the shark. Throw in some group tension, chum and World War II stories and you've got one hell of a team up.

I did like the rapport between Brody, Quint and Hooper as they did their best to actually solve the great shark problem of the movie. It's amazing how simple the sheer tension and horror in trying to take one shark out can be.

The shark itself might not look too terrifying for a modern audience but the way it's shot certainly helped convinced it's effectiveness. There's a few more deaths before one incredibly explosive ending.

- The film was based on Peter Benchley's 1974 book of the same name.

- Three sequels released between 1978-1987 emerged as a result of the success of this film.

- Standout music: Irving King's Show Me The Way To Go Home and of course that score music choice during a certain scene.

- Chronology: Set in the beach town of Amity Island, New England.

Over half a century later and yes, Jaws (1975) absolutely and most definitely holds up as a nautical themed horror fest. It's so simple but effective in it's in terror. I guess I better watch those sequels now.

Rating: 8 out of 10 

My Review of Lanterns: "Lights Out"

 

Written by Justin Britt-Gibson 

Directed by Geeta Vasant Patel

Hal (to John): "You were never gonna replace me, Junior. Here endeth your training."

This episode would be what is known as a fucking game changer. If you were hoping for the show to finally get out of 2026, then you're going to be very pleased with what went down here.

First of all, major fucking props need to be given to Poorna Jagannathan. On paper, Zoe appeared to be the generic love interest but having her as a rogue Manhunter that had both William and Kerry under her control as well as John. Yup, she truly stepped up as a baddie in this one.

The backstory she had with Kerry was a brilliant reveal. Kerry knew all along that Zoe was the Manhunter but said nothing. She's a damn sight better at lying than expected. I also got William so wrong. He was so devoted to Zoe that he allowed Antaan to practically kill him.

Of course, as clever as Zoe was, her downfall was always going to come in the shape of Hal Jordan. That man will not go down without a fight and Zoe's attempts to turn John against him pretty much backfired. She did come close enough though, considering that massive scrap we got between John and Hal in the motel.

However when it became clear that her plan failed, Zoe seemed surprisingly calm about John killing her. She didn't even try to stop him, which I found really odd. Thus endeth the Manhunter segment of the season, I presume. Well, the 2016 aspect at least.

John ultimately rejecting the ring after nearly killing Hal for it was another shocking moment. Even Lianna looked shocked when John turned it down. For comic book fans, I could see why that would've annoyed them but dramatically, it was a fucking brilliant way to end the episode. I was shook with that scene.

- Kerry had a criminal backstory when she arrived in Rushville. Zoe cut Kerry's pinky to bail her out but also helped to regrow another. She also healed John's very burnt skin.

- Zoe genuinely seemed to care about Noah and she also killed Abin Sur. Is Billy the only adult in that family who didn't know Zoe was a Manhunter?

- I'm probably reaching here but did Hal admit to being bisexual during that conversation with Antaan? Probably not.

- Once again, John's parents were relegated to an off screen phone call.

- Standout music: Away From Home (Rushville's Lament) by Ari Mason and Wayne Ingram.

- Chronology: Kerry arrived in Rushville in 2007. This episode culminated the events of 2016.

Lights Out hit a season high and probably could've been a finale in its own right. Those final three episodes are seriously gonna have to work overtime to match this superb outing.

Rating: 9 out of 10 

My Review of On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)

 

Written by Richard Maibaum And Simon Raven

Directed by Peter R. Hunt

James Bond (re Tracy): "It's all right. It's quite all right, really. She's having a rest. We'll be going on soon. There's no hurry, you see. We have all the time in the world."

If things had played out much differently, this would've been the start of a slew of James Bond movies with George Lazenby in the title role. Instead, it's a one and done deal and I'm going to say something controversial - I really love this movie. 

As much as I enjoyed Sean Connery in the role (and there's two more films with him to get to), I actually do think that George Lazenby was a worthy successor. As far as I'm concerned, he doesn't put a foot wrong here.

This was a version of Bond that upped his womanising ways when he went undercover in an environment where that wasn't his best course of action. He's also a Bond who just happened to get married to a woman who could easily match him.

The woman in question was Contessa Teresa di Vicenzo (Diana Rigg) or Tracy as she was mostly referred to in this one. There's something rather romcom like with James and Tracy, coupled with some slapstick humour, actual slapping and a father named Marc-Ange Draco (Gabriele Ferzetti) who desperately wanted James for a son in law. James wanted Blofeld (Tell.y Savalas). By the end of this film, he'd want Blofeld even more.

Putting most of the action in a retreat in Switzerland during the Christmas season was a brilliant idea. James got surrounded by beautiful women named the Angels of Death. Those women were of course sleeper agents for Blofeld's latest scheme. That didn't stop James from sleeping with the likes of Ruby (Angela Scoular) and Nancy (Catherina von Schell) as well as scuppering Blofeld's plans.

Then there's the wedding of James and Tracy. It's a beautiful affair, also bittersweet in the way Moneypenny herself quietly reacted to the day. Tracy's death at the end by Irma Bunt (Ilse Steppat) was genuinely heartbreaking to watch with James's solemn breakdown making it all the more effective.

- Did some of the women/Angels of Death really assume Sir Hilary Bray (George Baker) was gay? Bond impersonated him for that assignment.

- Joanna Lumley appeared as an Englishwoman for Blofeld's Angels of Death. All of them were of different nationalities.

- Standout music: John Barry's We Have All The Time In The World.

- Chronology: London, Switzerland and Portugal all factored in this film as did Christmas.

On Her Majesty's Secret Service to me might be one of the best James Bond movies ever made. It's almost one of the most heartbreaking with a beautifully depicted doomed love between James and Tracy. George Lazenby definitely deserves more praise for this film as does Diana Rigg.

Rating: 9 out of 10