My Review of Screamboat (2025)

 

Written by Matthew Garcia-Dunn And Steven LaMorte

Directed by Steven LaMorte

Barry: "This boat is cursed. We're all going to die."

Amber: "You said that last week and the week before."

I should start off this review with a confession. Here goes: I have never watched Steamboat Willie (1928). I mean I've seen that one clip that often pops up but I have never watched it. Still though, it was the origin of a certain mouse.

Now that the cartoon mouse in question has gone into the public domain, a horror movie was inevitable. Surprisingly the Poohniverse didn't do it first and maybe that's a good thing. This movie might be something of a mess but there's a weird sense of fun to be had with it.

Our central antagonist, Steamboat Willie (David Howard Thornton) has boarded the ferry on Staten Island and over the course of 102 minutes, the furry pest had a great time killing everyone who had the misfortune to encounter it. In between kills, there's a brief attempt to generate sympathy for the miniscule menace.

The attempt of sympathy came in the form of an animated flashback that of course was a retelling of the source material. I even felt a little bad for the little pest. I also grudgingly admired it's determination to wipe out as many people on a ferry as possible. It certainly made quite the effort. 

The deaths were varied but what of the victims themselves? Well, there was an array of Princesses (not really) that got grisly endings along with various crew members and other people. One particular character lost a certain piece of anatomy in a rather gruesome moment. 

Now, let's talk about protagonists. There was an EMT named Amber (Amy Schumacher), Pete (Jesse Posey) and a kid named Matteo (Rumi C. Jean-Louis). They're okay as characters but it was Selena (Allison Pittel) who proved to be the most problematic for Steamboat Willie. Essentially, Selena was Steamboat Willie's downfall but he seemed rather smitten with her, despite them being adversaries.

- Tyler Posey popped up in two scenes, one where he interacted with his real life brother in a sequel set up scene.

- The birthday crew contained characters such as Cindi, Rory, Jazzy, Bella and Ariana. Guess which princesses they're supposed to be? Im surprised they didn't call Selena Minerva, considering who she later cosplayed as.

- Yes, I noticed how many song lyrics managed to get into the movie through dialogue.

- Chronology: Present day Staten Island and on a ferry for the majority of the movie.

Look, Screamboat ain't no cinematic horror triumph and there's certainly a taste issue with a few moments. Saying that, it's an oddly fun movie that didn't feel too much like a time waster. Points for the sly references as well.

Rating: 6 out of 10