Written by Lee Hall And Tom Hooper
Directed by Tom Hooper
Grizabella: "Touch me! It's so easy to leave me! All alone with the memory of my days in the sun. If you touch me, you'll understand what happiness is! Look, a new day has begun."
It's coming up to five years since this chaotic misfire of an adaptation was released and I cannot lie, it hasn't improved with time. Sometimes there are movies that are just fascinating disasters to watch. This would be one of them.
Taking Andrew Lloyd Webber's iconic musical, giving to the same director who successfully brought Les Miserables to the big screen seven years prior and loading it with a star cast that included the biggest pop star on the planet. This had all the ingredients to be a massive success and yet the exact opposite happened. What went wrong?
For starters, the actual designs on the cats themselves certainly didn't help and maybe just maybe mainstream audiences weren't in the mood to see how freaky these particular felines could get. That I think covered the main reasons for this movie crashing as it did.
As for the story itself, you've got newcomer Victoria (Francesca Hayward). She got abandoned by her owners and soon came into contact with the Jellicle cats Mr. Mistoffelees (Laurie Davidson), Munkustrap (Robbie Fairchild), Cassandra (Mette Towley) and Demeter (Daniela Norman). They're preparing for the grand Jellicle Ball, which had a rather unique prize of being granted reincarnation.
Of course there was other cats vying for that prize including the like of Jennyanydots (Rebel Wilson), Rum Tum Tugger (Jason Derulo), Bustopher Jones (James Corden), Skimbleshanks (Steven MacRae) and the theatrical Gus (Ian McKellan). Also, Taylor Swift as Bombalurina in one of the worst performances from this movie. Sorry Swifties but you know I'm telling the truth here.
Yes there's a lot of cats in the movie and if the ones I mentioned weren't enough, there's also the villain of the piece, Macavity (Idris Elba), the disgraced Grizabella (Jennifer Hudson), both of whom are actually the highlights of this misguided venture. Them and of course Judi Dench's Old Deuteronomy, adding a little of gravitas to the whole debacle.
The movie took big swings but mostly missed as the completion heated up and only one winner could ultimately get the prize while the villain revelled in being such a baddie. As for Victoria, she might have been abandoned by one family but she certainly gained another by the end of this movie.
- Other cats included troublesome duo Mungojerrie (Danny Collins), Rumpleteazer (Naoimh Morgan) as well as Growltiger (Ray Winstone) and Plato and Socrates (Les Twins).
- The CGI problems are horribly blatant in a lot of the scenes.
- Standout music: Jellicle Songs For Jellicle Cats, Old Deuteronomy, Beautiful Ghosts, Macavity: The Mystery Cat and Memory.
- Chronology: A very wintry and magical London at night.
Cats truly was an epic misfire of a movie but as bad as it is, I can't help but find the whole thing fascinating as hell. It had everything in its favour that it should've been a triumph, yet it completely fell to pieces. It's a movie that will stay with you as a viewer but not for the reasons you'd want it to.
Rating: 5 out of 10
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