My Review of Buffy The Vampire Slayer's 8x06: "No Future For You Part 1"

Written by Brian K. Vaughan
Artwork by Georges Jeanty

Giles: “This isn’t a game, Faith. I’m not talking about staking the undead. I’m asking you to end the life of a human being.”
Faith: “Heard you the first time. So who is this evil bitch anyway?”

As much as I was looking forward to the thought of Buffy The Vampire Slayer continuing onto an eighth season via comic books, I have to admit that as soon as I heard we were gonna get a major Faith arc, I really just wanted to fast forward through the first five issues but then again you can’t do that with comics.

Six months after its launch, Faith’s arc is finally in my possession and things start on an interesting note with the rogue slayer offering some insight into her relationship with her mum but if you were hoping that post “Chosen”, Faith’s cynicism had subsided, then think again. I should find it a grind but I don’t.

Having a cigarette and a broad on top of a massive statue in Cleveland mightn’t sound like the most enticing way of opening her arc but a quick call from ex-lover Robin Wood means that Faith will have to put her sombre on hold.

Which she kinda does by cheekily asking him if he was calling for some nookie and alas to her, Robin was more focused on business as opposed to any real pleasure. For a moment Faith did look a bit disappointed in that reveal too.

I kinda thought Faith would end up dumping Robin and it would be interesting to see why things didn’t work out between them. Perhaps Faith couldn’t hack being in a stable relationship or maybe Robin had difficulty negotiating around her nihilism. It’s too bad as Robin looked like he could’ve been a good influence on her.

Anyways his real reasons for calling involved a group of vampires that have turned a single mother and Faith is given the rather shitty task of having to check on the woman’s kids despite Robin having a full team of slayers who could’ve easily done that themselves.

The reason why Faith gets saddled with the task is because all five of the woman’s children were turned into vampires and Robin assumed that Faith would be able to wipe them without feeling any emotional entanglement.

Unfortunately the problem with that scenario is that while Faith was able to kill the children she did feel something and the first thing she did upon returning to her dingy flat was to punch a stake through the wall. It’s been well over a year since she helped the Scoobies end The First’s reign and she’s still got some deep rooted emotional scars that she’s not exactly hiding either.

It also doesn’t help that Giles pops up out of nowhere with a job offer for the girl. Given that the Scoobies haven’t exactly remained steadily in contact with her for over a year, Faith’s unwillingness to want to help Giles seems justified. She might hate being stuck in Cleveland but the idea of being reduced to a dogsbody has does more to damage her confidence. Even if I didn’t love the character as much as I do, I still wouldn’t have a problem feeling sorry for her.

While Giles isn’t exactly the warmest to her at the start, his mission for Faith is a lot more than randomly killing a demon. I’d like to think that maybe Giles is learning from the mistake of sending some random girl to her own doom in “The Chain” but for the time being, it seems that anyone is fair game for dangerous missions in this season, except for Buffy herself.

No Faith gets bestowed with the wonderful task of having to kill a Slayer, so for a brief time she can imagine what Buffy might have had to feel when Faith herself was considering worthy of assassinating in Seasons Three and Four but admittedly, Faith is surprisingly shocked at the suggestion of having to kill a human being.

Giles doesn’t exactly mince her words either as the first thoughts of possibly rehabilitating the unbalanced slayer are quashed. According to every Augur, this girl is mad, bad and downright dangerous so upon realising that she really doesn’t have much of a choice in the matter, Faith agrees to do it. After all getting out of Cleveland and a pension plan is too good to give up, even for Faith.

As for the evil bitch, her name happens to be Lady Genevieve Savidge and she’s an infuriating little spoilt rich kid who has to train with an Irish man named Roden. Naturally the girl doesn’t take too well to Roden’s attempts of getting her to concentrate on the job at hand and even threatened to tell her father what they are really up. Something tells me her father is probably in on it as well.

As for what they are up, what do a lot of English toffs like to do? Well if it’s on horseback it tends to involve hunting and for Genevieve it’s not foxes she’s tracking down but other slayers. I have to admit Roden is pretty good if he’s already turning her against her own kind this quickly in the game.

The terrified slayer attempts to get away from her captors and even makes a swift kick at Gigi’s chest but the evil girl is able to kill her counterpart with a swift blow. This has to raise the question – what the hell?

Slayers are strong yes, but they aren’t that strong that a single blow is able to nuke a fellow slayer and for a brief moment, Genevieve actually looks remorseful for having killed an innocent girl. However that quickly fades when Roden uses his own magic to summon two demons to dispatch of the body. Yeah, he’s a warlock and one who views himself as quite the stud. Why do I get the feeling that later on in this arc, Amy won’t be the only magical fiend Willow will have to engage in battle with?

Even more is the fact that while Genevieve may seem evil, you’re also teased with the notion that she might a pawn as opposed to an actual player. Giles mentioned her being a cause of ushering an impending apocalypse but the girl is quick to attack Roden for being put through a rigorous amount of tests and he also reveals himself to be connected to “Twilight”.

Someone online suggested that maybe this race of slayers are being framed for later posing a threat to humanity. This issue might just back that theory up. Genevieve mightn’t have a qualm for doing evil deeds but she’s still being manipulated. Either way she works brilliantly and more effectively as a threat to the Scoobies than General Voll has done so far.

Meanwhile not only does Faith have the responsibility of having to be the one who kills Genevieve but she also has to infiltrate herself into the world of British High Class Society and when Giles isn’t quickly reminding Faith that she has to actually gain Genevieve’s trust, Faith questions why she of all people has been picked for the task. Have to admit the girl’s got a point.

As slayers go, Faith has to be every bit as infamous as Buffy and therefore would be a recognisable target and when Giles attempts to tell her why she has been selected for this particular task, Faith gets a flashback and ends up stabbing Giles with a fork.

It’s the first real shock moment of the issue aside from slaying vamp kids. Faith’s childhood hasn’t been documented as being good and while Giles was perhaps attempting to comfort her, she was reminded of a moment in her life where one of her mother’s boyfriends (or even her father) displayed unjust cruelty to her. Again Faith has got issues and times like this, I wish to God this was actually being televised.

Giles’ reaction is pretty stunning too. Despite Faith actually hurting him, he plays the situation down and even draws some comparisons to his own past with hers too. Maybe I’m reading too much into it but either somewhere down the line Giles is going to have to pay more for his past sins or Faith is. Actually I have a feeling it’s both. Either way Faith was definitely touched by Giles’ gesture and seemed more cooperative in getting her etiquette right.

Breaking away from Faith just a little, what should be more delightful that a nice shot of a topless Xander working up his strength while taunting a punching bag. Xander has certainly buffed up since his Season Seven days and it seems his motivations are to help Renee with her training.

Buffy is quick to tease Xander and while we all know that Renee fancies the man once labelled as “The Zeppo”, this issue also sees Xander insisting that there’s nothing sexual in his and Renee’s relationship. Maybe he’s being sincere but what I can see, Renee certainly wouldn’t the worst choice in women and he doesn’t seem to be brooding for Anya that much either.

However Buffy has much bigger concerns than her friend getting laid and that includes the mysterious “Twilight”. Well after a cantankerous general tells you that slayers are literally the root of all evil, there’s no way Buffy couldn’t have taken things seriously but with the lack of communication between her and Giles, she still seems a bit in the dark.

Funny thing is that like with “The Long Way Home Part 2” she’s still dreaming of being chased by a monster and getting killed. The thing is, Buffy might have the resources that Sunnydale couldn’t afford but she’s still stalling and if Giles isn’t able to provide the intelligence, then Buffy needs to use her other sources and fast. Especially before Amy, Warren, Genevieve and Voll all try to her and her new band of slayers down.

The final scenes of this issue are something of a set up with Faith openly admitting that besides honing in her stiff upper lip, she hasn’t exactly perfected much else. Giles offers her some confidence and Faith admits to feeling ridiculous in her royal dress but Giles’s reaction of Faith in this particular will more than likely sum up the reaction of what reader will – Faith, you look hot!

Also in “No Future For You Part 1”

There are two covers for this issue. The one I purchased has Faith finishing spray painting her name over Buffy’s. If that doesn’t capture her character so well, then what does?

Faith: “I’m impressed Mr Principal. Most exes are too proud to make the late night booty call but not you, huh?”

On the cover of this issue it’s written in bold writing “Joss Whedon’s Season Eight”. This also is the first issue he hasn’t written.

Faith: “You’re off to great places. Today is your day.”

Giles: “I must say for cupboards this bare, you have an exceptional selection of Chamomiles.”
Faith: “What, those smelly bags? Use em on the dark circles under my eyes.”

What the hell kinda jumper was Giles wearing during his visit to Faith’s digs? It looked like a homage to The Beatles “Yellow Submarine”.

Kidnapped Slayer: “Look, I don’t know how many other people you nutters have kidnapped but this time you snatched the wrong girl.”
Genevieve: “Uhnf! You filthy little commoner. I loved that shirt.”

Roden (to Genevieve): “First off all, witches are newt eating old hags. I, on the other hand, am a rather passably attractive warlock. Secondly, you’re just going to have to be patient. As a wise man once said, you can’t have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat.”

In this issue Joss Whedon threw in a brief but lame explanation as to Warren being alive/technically dead and a hint about Tara.

Giles: “The only chance you have at finishing this slayer is by getting close to her through subterfuge and cunning.”
Faith: “Hey I like me some kink but if you think I’m going down-town on this chick, you chose the wrong slayer.”

Faith had some cool nicknames in this issue. Robin got to be Mr Principal, Giles Professor Turtleneck and Genevieve the Debutard.

Faith (to Giles): “Dude, how high are you? There must be a billion girls better suited for this My Fair Lady crap.”

Faith: “The thing I stabbed you with? It was a salad fork wasn’t it?”
Giles: “Er, no, actually the salad fork has a shorter handle and a wider tine base. But that’s as good a place to start as any.”

Neither Willow, Dawn, Andrew nor the newbie Slayers are present in this issue. Tell me Dawn becomes normal size sooner rather than later.

Xander (to Buffy): “Sorry, heh, thought I had the old danger room for the whole late night slot. So I could be alone with my you know, sweaty, shirtless shame.”

Buffy: “Made more sense than the dream I just bolted out of.”
Xander: “Trouble in Slumberland?”

Xander was wearing Sunnydale High Swim Team shirt. Nice to see not everything from Sunnydale perished.

Buffy (to Xander): “But right before it swallow me whole, the big smelly looks me right in the eyes and says ‘The Queen Is Dead’.”

The Monster Buffy saw in her nightmares looks like a wildcat with bird like wings and a lizard tongue. The title “No Future For You” comes from a Sex Pistols record called “Long Live The Queen”.

Faith: “I have no sodding idea.”
Giles: “Marvellous. I daresay your accent is nearly passable.”
Faith: “Good because I still suck at everything else you taught me.”

Giles: “Does your selection work all right?”
Faith: “If the goal is to make me feel like a complete idiot, then yes.”

If you’re a Doctor Who fan you’ll take delight in seeing David Tennant/The Doctor and Billie Piper/Rose Tyler outside Faith and Giles’ place. I know I did.

Faith: “So how we doing here?”
Giles: “Five by five.”

Chronology: None is specified from the last few issues.

I just knew that “No Future For You Part 1” was going to be amazing but even I was surprised with how excellent this would shape up to be. With the first five issues feeling slightly hit and miss in segments, this had the fortune of brilliant dynamics between Faith and Giles and the sense of advancing the Twilight mystery. Brian K. Vaughan deserves all the praise in the world for this excellent issue.

Rating: 10 out of 10.

My Review Of Buffy The Vampire Slayer's 8x05: "The Chain"

Written by Joss Whedon
Artwork by Paul Lee

Buffy Decoy (re being Buffy): “You know ironically I’m probably even less famous because of the name.”

If you’re one of those people who hated episodes in a particular series where nearly all the cast are absent and some random character is taking charge, then this issue might not be for you. Still though those kinds of episode can sometimes be preferable to an even lazier clip show.

In the UK Doctor Who not once but twice did episodes where the Time Lord and his companion were isolated from the adventure while a character was influenced into carrying the story.

The first episode “Love And Monsters” left a nasty taste with viewers but this year the sublime “Blink” kept them gripped. It’s kinda hard to determine how some people are going to take to a Buffy-lite issue. I’m not even sure how I totally feel about this despite the multiple readings of it.

Anyways things begin underground with a demon named Yamanh of Hoht holding the lifeless body of Buffy Summers over his head and gleefully telling his fellow demons that he is responsible for her death and that they should worship him, which the buggers seem more than happy to comply with.

It’s quickly established however that the woman who has died at the hands of Yamanh, while she may look like Miss Summers, is only a decoy. Yup remember in the first issue when Buffy mentioned there being two girls posing as her? For this standalone issue, Joss Whedon has decided to focus on the poor girl underground who evidently got the shitty end of the bargain.

Cutting to a brief scene where some boring football jock asks the girl with no name who the hell she is we then see our decoy underground with a sword in her hand and a fairy warning her to leave. What are the odds that a fairy (which strictly speaking is more akin to Charmed than Buffy) is going to be able to deter the girl pretending to be Buffy Summers?

The odds are none because this girl seems determined to take Yamanh down even though she’s told in no uncertain terms that he’s more likely to annihilate her than she is with him. There’s also a tender moment when the fairy tells Fake Buffy she loves her which is the only words of intimacy and confidence bestowed to the girl throughout the entire issue.

However because the time line is a little David Lynch this time we then cut to the girl before she was activated as a Slayer in high school moaning with her mates about having to share detention because one of the girls in their class is more popular with the boys than the Decoy and her two friends.

The dialogue in this particular scene sparkles and some of the pithy putdowns the Decoy bestows to her blonde mate would make the likes of High School Cordelia Chase proud. It’s nice that after the rather clunky lines in the previous issue the ones here are a vast improvement.

While comparing fascism to detention, the boring jock from a few pages ago confronts the girls and when the Decoy makes a crack at him over underwear she suddenly spasms and then we see Giles talking about “the chain”.

Giles’ appearance here is as always great but if you’re expecting a bigger role than the one he has had so far you may be in for a letdown but the spasm showing the Decoy being activated as a Slayer is pretty satisfying. Then there’s the bleakness of Rona saying “there is no truth”. Last time I checked The X-Files would beg to differ.

One of the most inspired moments of the comics so far was in Issue Three when we got that delirious sex fantasy with Buffy, Angel and Spike. This issue pulls off a quite cute and funny advert with Andrew and Vi who play husband and wife in a crafty attempt of getting new girls to come to them.

I guess with over 2000 girls currently activated, it’s not a bad idea and anyone else oblivious to the true meaning of the advert would probably dismiss it or upload it onto YouTube for fun. It’s also a nice and sweet way of having Andrew and reintroducing Vi. Does that mean Kennedy, Wood and Faith are soon to come?

Naturally the Decoy knows the meaning behind the ad and quickly she discovers she’s a Chosen One along with other girls who are trained by Rona, briefly mentored by Giles and some unknown lady but really it’s the girl’s soon to be thankless task of pretending to be Buffy that is once again highlighted.

Soon enough she’s back in the underground warning a demon that Yamanh had better be wary of Buffy’s imminent descent on his party while further stuff flashbacked to her still passed out in school and patrolling with a group of other slayers.

The high school stuff seems routinely pointless at this rate so it’s her team up with the other slayers and her need to adapt her newfound skills when she gets bit by a vampire during patrols while others are congratulating the punk slayer from Issue 2. Still at least one girl compliments the Decoy on having her back.

Then there’s the recruitment process itself as Rona tells the Decoy to seriously dye her dark hair into blonde and to maintain her new hair colour. When Rona mentions to the Decoy that no-one above ground can know she’s posing as Buffy and that no-one underground can know she’s faking it, you kinda feel like you already know that and that the girl isn’t stupid enough to actually get it.

Seeing Rona in a somewhat more authorative role only goes to demonstrate how so many of the characters have grown since Season Seven. Both Xander and Andrew have become more or less watchers so Rona dishing out advice to the girl and briefly explaining to a degree why she was saddled with the task of having to be Buffy is interesting.

However as good as the scene is, you can almost feel that with Giles and the actual Buffy instead of Rona that dramatically it would’ve been better. Yamanh and The Immortal may be dangerous but are they that dangerous that they really justify having not one but two girls pretending to be Buffy? From what I’ve seen, I don’t really think they are.

The Decoy herself goes from snarky in the playground, emotionally empowered when meeting fellow slayers to feeling completely nihilistic as she descends to the demonic underground all by herself which is another thing that doesn’t make sense if Yamanh is supposed to be so dangerous.

The girl raises some sensible questions as to why was she was picked to fake it as Buffy. Did Rona, Giles and that lady think she was physically capable and mentally strong to deal with a danger like Yamanh or were there thoughts more dismissive, so that her fear she was selected because she’s potential cannon fodder is justified?

I really can’t see that Giles and Rona would be that callous in their thoughts but then again sending a slayer underground pretending to be Buffy without any immediate backup also seems like a reckless plan. The real Buffy didn’t descend down the Hellmouth in “Chosen” by herself so why does this poor girl have to go it alone then?

Even before she has to face Yamanh there’s still having to pass a test set by a Slug race which included her being violated by slugs so to speak. Luckily the scene doesn’t come off as cheesy which if this was a televised episode then it might have done and there’s an amusing comment by the fairies in regards to the Decoy’s acquired BO from the slugs.

Of course the humour then has to subside so that Fake Buffy can actually coerce the warring slugs and fairies to put their petty differences aside and band together in order to take Yamanh. Her speech sounds pretty similar to the more dreary “live together, die alone” speeches from Lost.

The slugs take convincing but with them on board, there seems to be a perfect order for the Decoy and the good demons of the underworld to succeed before our last high school flashback has Decoy Buffy saving the jock from getting whacked by a truck and then him wondering how she’s survived getting whacked by it.

I’m not really sure why these scenes are necessary because post snark fest on the underwear and spasm, nothing seems to add up to the overall plot. I’m going to assume some general padding but would Joss be that complacent with a standalone? Surely those scenes have to have some relevance.

Underground and after much talking the Buffy Decoy and Yamanh are finally getting into the swing of their fight and sadly for our main character it more or less involves seeing her getting mauled by the demon before he delivered the final blow that kills and she motions about her feelings of connecting and wondering whether or not she actually made a difference in the ongoing fight between good versus evil. Before her death she notes the unlikely scenario of people knowing who she is but takes pride in knowing herself.

Also in “The Chain”

There are three covers for this issue. The one I have is the Decoy pulling her mask off and the other two include the Decoy descending on Yamanh’s nest and a homage to Uncle Sam.

Buffy Decoy: “Eggs?”
Fairy: “It’s not fatal and I didn’t do it.”

This is third issue in a row in which the swear words are bleeped out. If Joss can’t write them in properly then he shouldn’t use them.

Buffy Decoy: “You’ve really never touched a boy, have you?”
Blonde Girl: “I wouldn’t touch Mike Billenger without a Hazmat suit. Is that what they’re called?”

Andrew: “That’s right! Just dial 1-800-Chosen-1 to meet girls who have this alarming yet fun condition.”
Vi: “I will! Now I won’t be the only girl breaking vases.”

Some of the Slayers from Tales Of The Slayers as well Nikki Wood and The First Slayer popped up here. We also got The Master as well.

Buffy Decoy: “I listen. I don’t have a choice, way I’ve been and the truth is, it’s not cheesy like the commercial. It’s actually amazing.”

Slayer: “You should totally keep the sword.”
Simone: “Rather have a gun.”

Where exactly was this Buffy Decoy located? I kinda assumed she’s American and possibly in the Californian region.

Buffy Decoy: “You want me to be Buffy?”
Rona: “Sounds a lot more glam than it is. We’d be sending you underground. Under actual ground.”

Fairy 1: “This stench? We won’t abide it.”
Fairy 2: “We will scrub you with briars for a hundred days.”
Buffy Decoy: “Yeah that’s not a comfort. Now everybody stop talking a minute.”

The Slug king took the language of the last person who failed his test and one of the fairies planted eggs in the Decoy’s ears.

Slug King: “You are throwing us to the wolves?”
Buffy Decoy: “The wolves are here but you have each other. You have a will to survive.”

Buffy Decoy: “In the moments that matter even our own names are just sounds that people make to tell us apart. What we are isn’t that. The real questions run deeper. Can I fight? Did I help? Did I do for my sisters? My comrades, children and slimy slug clan.”

Two notable thing in this issue included Joss Whedon posing for an Equality Now advertisement and a dedication to Janie Kleinman at the end.

Buffy Decoy: “I tried to feel it. I tried to face the darkness like a woman and I don’t need anymore than that. You don’t have to remember me. You don’t even know who I am but I do.”

Chronology: It’s unspecified but I would presume sometime during or after “The Long Way Home Part 4”.

In this issue’s defence, “The Chain” could’ve been a lot worse a standalone and while we had to wait two months for something more low key, there are some interesting questions that do need to be looked at in regards to the training methods of the Scoobies and one is whether or not having girls pretend to be Buffy is such a good idea. Judging on what happened here, I would suggest not.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

My Review of Buffy The Vampire Slayer's 8x04: "The Long Way Home Part 4"

Written by Joss Whedon
Artwork by Georges Jeanty

General: “Sound off! Who’s hurt? Stay calm, damn it.”
Buffy: “No. Panic.”

Each issue so far has ended with enough hooks to keep pulling us back in for some more and when your last one ends with the sudden reappearance of a character that should be long dead, it’s safe to say that answers are needed and fast too.

Of all the people Willow would have the misfortune to be kidnapped by, a vengeful Amy was bad enough but discovering that her boyfriend is Warren, still in his skinless state of people, I can’t help but wonder – what the hell?

Strapped down to a table, Willow gets a brief synopsis on why her most significant kill is still alive. Well first off all, after yanking off his skin, Amy managed to pull a Houdini and get Warren out of there before she could finish the job. The only other question is why Amy would do that?

It turns out that I’ll assume after their spat in “Doublemeat Palace”, Amy took to stalking Willow and saved Warren’s ass in the very hopes of causing further misery down the line. Warren is also very quick to point out that he was in on Amy’s punishment scheme from “The Killer In Me” and more interestingly that Amy’s magic is his skin.

The whole involvement on Willow turning into her nemesis in Season Seven could be cool. I hate the idea of Willow actually feeling bad for doing Warren so her involuntary having to become him is now made tolerable as a result.

As for the whole “her magic is my skin”, what can I say – Amy is an incredibly smart girl. If she’s been stalking Willow for all the this time then obviously she must have some idea that Warren is an avowed misogynist and is completely untrustworthy individual as well.

Her using her magic as a substitute for actually regenerating Warren’s skin is probably Amy’s way of keeping Warren in line. As useful as he might be in her personal vendetta with Willow, having some form of control over him is smart. We’ve seen Amy advance in the magic field so it’s unlikely that she’s unable to regenerate Warren’s skin, she’s just not doing for her own benefit.

Bigger question then would be why isn’t Warren trying to find ways of doing it himself? Like I said the guy is an avowed misogynist and there’s no way, grateful for not being totally killed would he willingly want to be under someone else’s thrall.

Then again, Warren is more naturalistically happy to exact some of his own revenge on Willow as he goes after her with an exactor knife while Amy just looks on. The Master and Lucy Saxon this lot aren’t as despite my fear of any eye injuries, not much terror is being generated.

Briefly cutting away from Warren’s revenge, we get an almighty pissed off Dawn smashing her fists into the castle walls and generally being reminded that she is a super size she isn’t super strong. It also sucks for poor Dawnie (who’s assertive I’m liking) that she’s unable to fit through the portal the gang are working on to get Willow back.

Buffy isn’t that much in trying to calm Dawn down and her efforts for attempting only resulted in Dawn rather insensitively telling Buffy that Willow is like a mum to her. I guess that is a bit consistent as Willow and Tara did parent Dawn between Seasons Five and Six but Xander was right on the money when he noted sarcastically how much Buffy must have loved that particular comment.

Getting some mini-witches to help open a portal seems to be taking it’s sweet time and it’s moments like this when you really miss Giles, who is the only other magic expert the Scoobies really have. Xander however continues to impress by telling Buffy to find her fighting buddy and not to go all gung ho. This is only further proof as to why he is shaping up so excellently this season.

Back to the land of torture, Warren is not only goading Willow about how he would love her to go dark again but he’s also quick to jab her eye with the exactor knife and also tells her that the stronger her magic becomes the harder it is for her to break free out of her bonds.

That might also explain why Willow isn’t talking to. Perhaps the nifty spell on those bonds are stopping her from chanting any kind of magic that would free her but the severe lack of a two way exchange between them kinda sucks to be honest.

We’ve had interesting exchanges between Willow and Amy in the last issue but not once does Willow get a chance to convey disgust that Warren is still breathing when Tara is stone cold. I hope no-one holds it against me when I say I want Willow to finish what she started on Warren, those two and a half years ago.

After getting a brief look of Willow’s mind and five bizarre looking women who want to grant the tortured witch access, the plans to actually save Willow before Warren succeeds in dicing her are in play. Well just Buffy telling Satsu to load up but I can tell you I knew the outcome before witnessing it.

Meanwhile bored from seeing Willow squirm, Amy has to answer to General Voll who isn’t thrilled with Amy disabling their cameras. Geez, Voll do you really think Amy isn’t going to find some way of ensuring once she’s lived up to her end of the deal that she isn’t gonna find a way of making sure you aren’t a threat to her? This guy is every bit as stupid as those Initiative suits.

Getting past some boring bickering between Satsu, Leah and Rowena, Buffy and Satsu are then set to get Willow back and when Buffy borrows some lip gloss of her intern, the cinnamon thing is revealed. Was it Satsu who kissed Buffy awake last issue? Who knows? Joss is good at throwing us off the scent but in comic book form anything is possible, right?

More interesting is the trip into Willow’s state of mind where her weird new pals are telling her that her refuge is only temporary and even go as far as to show her images of people burning in the flames and it doesn’t take a genius to get that this particular imagery is representing the very real pain she’s being subjected to.

On screen something like this would look absolutely amazing and while Willow doesn’t really say much to the ladies in her mind, the sheer surrealism of what we’re seeing is enough dialogue in of it’s self. We know that Willow is in deep shit and this only emphasises it.

Fortunately though she isn’t the only about to get shafted as the idiotic soldiers are about to learn that some traps really aren’t as effective as they might appear to be. Then again, demons and gods can be smart; suits just can’t on this series.

With the mini-witches finally getting the portal opened and some delightfully cheeky dialogue exchanged between Buffy and Xander, the soldiers’ plan to take aim on Buffy and Satsu with a laser cannon is nicely deflected with the Scoobies nifty use of a mirror. See, soldiers on this show/comic book really are stupid.

It also doesn’t end there as Buffy and Satsu get through and start beating the ever holy crap out of the attacking soldiers so much that to a degree it almost beggars belief but while Buffy may be winning this fight without even really trying, it’s almost nice that she doesn’t actually derive any pleasure from the damage her and Satsu are being kinda forced to inflict.

So Buffy grabs one of the Generals and makes a reasonable request – she’ll get his men fixed up if he tells her where Willow is being kept and in all fairness he doesn’t really have much option to disagree with Buffy’s benign request.

As Buffy and Satsu whoop another soldier out of the way, Xander figures out that they are two miles south of Sunnydale and also is quick to warn them that Amy is waiting for them as well. Suffice to say, Amy is there all right but it seems that Buffy is more than prepared for her.

Willow mentions to one of the weird looking ladies in her mind that her and Buffy are a part of each other. I thought it was a rather weird way of saying that her and Buffy’s friendship is on the same ground as the first five seasons of the series but in actual fact it means that Willow is seemingly able to suffuse some of her mojo into Buffy who doesn’t waste much time using this to her advantage against Amy.

Once again Amy makes the speedy move of underestimating her opponent and while she might be right about Buffy’s sudden magical abilities being a lightshow, the slayer is easily able to distract her by pulling an image of Catherine Madison long enough for Satsu to throw a bomb in Amy’s direction.

Naturally it doesn’t actually kill Amy because obviously enough she is vital to this whole lengthy series arc but it’s effective enough for the gang to get to Willow and Buffy to seemingly recognise Warren before he and Amy make their not so great escape. Crap and I was hoping someone would nuke Warren, guess I’ll have to wait for that.

Even slightly more crap is that whatever damage Warren inflicted on Willow is gone by the time Buffy is able to free her friend. Not that I wanted Willow to be horrifically scarred but it does kind of kill the impact of her whole capture and makes a large chuck of this issue feel rather pointless as well.

Also rather pointless is Whedon’s decision to kill off Ethan Rayne when Buffy finds him dead in one of the cells thanks to General Voll. Without a reaction from Giles and with only the dream space hints of last week, Ethan’s demise should’ve been something far more stronger than this. Maybe it will help advance the arc but it feels so bloody anticlimactic.

Fortunately there’s an explanation for Voll’s vitriol Buffy and her band of slayers and despite Buffy’s annoying assumptions that Voll is another in a long line of dudes threatened by strong women, his reasons for wanting Buffy defeated is his fears that her and the slayers will become further corrupted but the inner demon and will want to reshape mankind.

You kind of have to wonder where Voll is generating this assumption from. Sure there are slayers will become corrupted and tread the wrong path and unlike Faith won’t be redeemed but Voll doesn’t exactly seem to be coming with some form of a compromise in the matter. It’s nice that there’s something more to go on with the Twilight thing but Buffy’s forlorn response doesn’t bode very well.

Also in “The Long Way Home Part 4”

Cover for this issue was Giant Dawn with Buffy in the palm of her hands. So far each cover star has played a big part in the issue but Dawn didn’t have a lot to do here.

Warren (to Willow): “I remember thinking and it comes up again in this situation, I just have to wonder – are you bored now?”

This issue opened up with a brief flashback to “Villains”. Is it me or is the lack of a mention of Tara from Willow a bit surprising?

Xander (re Dawn’s comment): “Oh I bet you loved hearing that.”
Buffy: “How much longer.”

Warren (to Willow): “All your power is siphoned into those bonds. The stronger you get. Try it, go dark. I wish you would. I think you might.”

The women in Willow’s mind were a mummy, blue smoke, painting, wolf and one of paper and equations. Abstract representations of Willow’s power/lives/lovers etc?

Amy (to General Voll): “But the witch belongs to my boyfriend. They have a history. She’s kind of a history major.”

I have to ask but when Amy refers to Warren as her boyfriend, is she actually screwing him because it can’t be pleasant if she is?

Buffy: “Yes sir, Mister Watcher sir.”
Xander: “I’ll watcher your butt.”
Buffy: “Your grammar is not so much.”
Xander: “Bring me back a witch.”

Buffy: “Where are we?”
Xander: “About two miles south of Sunnydale.”
Buffy: “Sunnydale, well I’m the one who wanted to go home.”

This is the second time in the series the Scythe has been used in battle. It seems that Buffy is keeping ownership on that thing.

Amy: “Time to go, Sweetie.”
Warren: “This isn’t over slayer.”
Amy: “I just do not get tired of saying that.”

General Voll: “We’re not waiting for that to happen, we will wipe you out. Not just monsters anymore. It’s you against the world. You’re at war with the human race.”
Buffy: “Oh. Kay.”

This issue ended with a BTVS logo at the end. Stack this entire arc together and you would have a complete episode.

What started off as a rather intriguing arc is marred by a final instalment that gives us only some answers but leaves you mostly unsatisfied. “The Long Way Home Part 4” has some interesting moments but there aren’t as many standout scenes or characters moments that the first three issues had and some of the dialogue is a bit clunky in comparison. It also stinks that we have to wait until August for standalone issue “The Chain”.

Rating: 6 out of 10.

My Review of Buffy The Vampire Slayer's 8x03: "The Long Way Home Part 3"

Written by Joss Whedon
Artwork by Georges Jeanty

Dawn: “We totally have to talk. Are you evil again?”
Willow (re Amy): “It’ll fade. She just really pissed me off.”

Opening things up after the previous issue’s cliff-hanger, the mystery older man who called Buffy “My Love” turns out to be Ethan Rayne. Unlike someone else later on in the mix, Ethan’s return in a welcome addition to this interesting four part arc.

Getting over the My Love spiel, which makes Buffy want to projectile vomit when she point blank informs him that he takes up none of her subconscious; their reunion has Ethan explaining the nature of a Dream Space to which Buffy suddenly has a very legitimate reason to get embarrassed over.

Not only do we get to see a graphic sexual fantasy in which a naked duo of Angel and Spike are caressing Buffy in a nurse uniform while the three of them are all chained together and we have Cupid’s hovering over them along with a train going into a tunnel as well as stakes and orchids in the background.

This is probably the only thing that Joss has conveyed on comic form so far that would’ve posed some difficulties if the show was still on the airwaves and it’s the most surreal image ever seen. In fact it might be the very thing you’ll remember about this entire issue on a superficial level as well.

It was only a matter of time before either Angel or Spike were going to factor into the mix so instead of actually bogging the story by reintroducing them in the flesh, Buffy’s little sexual fantasy not only reinforces the sexual hold both vampires have on her but it also further highlights her glowing lack of a sex life too.

Suffice to say, Ethan probably took a little pleasure in seeing Buffy having to squirm but for some reason he seems to have hitched a ride into her subconscious to help he rather than kill her. Maybe being locked up since “A New Man” has changed, then again more likely Ethan is up to something and he’s quick to warn Buffy that things are going outside.

If there’s something these first two issues lacked, it was a certain Wicca in the mix and the return of Willow in the last issue is put to excellent use here as not only has her reappearance wiped the smirk of Amy’s smug face but it doesn’t take long for the girls to renew their rivalry in glorious style.

By that I mean they take to the sky above the castle and begin a magical duel that’s probably straight out of Harry Potter to a degree. For those of you who like their Foe Yay, Willow and Amy seem determined to provide it in spades.

Although Willow is probably still the most powerful one of the two, Amy is quick to taunt her about trying to destroy the world and now only producing weak craft as she seemed to be successful in deflecting Willow’s blows. Then again, Amy was never the most attentive of people as Willow soon reveals that she’s only absorbing her Mojo to decode it. Not entirely sure why Willow is doing that unless she’s planning to use Amy’s own magic against her, which would be sweet.

Anyways minor distractions such as Xander praising Willow to some slayers as the rest of them defend the castle from the undead are fine but it’s the light show and army being apparent distractions that begin to see the Willow/Amy thing escalate into a bit of a pissing contest between.

So far the light show hasn’t killed either witch but there have been slayers getting the living daylights beaten out of them by the living dead, which proves that at least one distraction is effective. It’s looking that in her quest for power/revenge, Amy really doesn’t care who gets hurt in the process.

So it’s three cheers when her overconfidence is then punished by Xander commanding Dawn to literally step on Amy long for Willow to knock her out and freeze her. I’m surprised with her size; Dawn wasn’t able to crush Amy despite her good timing.

Dawn’s brief exchange with Willow is humorous, despite voicing concerns about Willow’s magic. Willow was furious with Amy and Dawn was savvy enough to pick up on it, however it doesn’t seem like we have to worry about Willow losing herself just yet.

Meanwhile in the land of nod, Buffy seems to be in classic denial when Ethan warns her of potential and for the loyal viewers you can spot the various moments of the previous seven seasons while Ethan draws Buffy closer to his desired location.

I was kind of hoping Ethan’s place would be Hellmouth related but it’s more to do with Amy’s cage which both Ethan and Buffy get to see from a rat size perspective. There’s a thing about Roman symbolism and it’s interesting to know that Ethan wasn’t aware of Amy’s magical havoc. Perhaps he really is out to help the Scoobies though I’m more interested to see how it would benefit him.

When Ethan isn’t providing Buffy with cryptic clues in her dream space, the Scoobies are trying to find a way to get Buffy to wake up but whatever else Amy may lie about, she wasn’t kidding when she said it required the kiss from someone who is in love with Miss Summer. Heck, even Willow has to point out to Xander and Dawn that her magic is useless against this spell.

So someone is in love with Buffy and they might not subconsciously know it? Well whoever the culprit, they realise it quick enough to actually do the deed and succeed in waking Buffy from her involuntary slumber.

With there only be Xander, Willow and a few slayers in the room, it’s largely implied that it’s Xander who successfully brought Buffy back to being awake. However just because Xander is the only male there, it doesn’t automatically mean it’s him who did it even if Buffy did dream about him in the previous issue.


While I seriously doubt that Willow has suddenly developed feelings for her, there is the question of the handful of slayers in that room there too including Leah, Rowena and Satsu. It’s likely it could be the latter given the sort of rapport her and Buffy seem to have developed.

Perhaps Satsu has a thing for Buffy. Is it likely that Buffy would reciprocate? If we’re gonna get girl-on-girl stuff, I’d prefer to be Willow and a resurrected Tara but it’s too early to tell about anything. Buffy hasn’t shown any interest in women before and little is known about Satsu to determine her sexual leanings yet.

Elsewhere when I’m not guessing sexuality or enjoying Foe Yay action (though Willow/Amy have nothing on The Doctor/The Master in Doctor Who), there’s the matter about that lizard demon’s death from Issue 1. Apparently some of those fights had been engineered and further information in regards to the Twilight symbol is scuppered. Still though it’s nice to see Giles but I wish to God he was given more to do as his appearance only amounts to a page here.

Also the eternally annoying Andrew is on the phone to Xander and more or less telling him nothing of any real help. In fact, there are two things about Andrew’s appearance that are noteworthy – there’s no geek referencing (from him at least) and Andrew seemed to be oblivious to the strip poker session with his batch of slayers in Italy. Now this is the kind of Andrew I can handle.

Speaking of handle, do I detect a little bit of flirtation between Xander and Renee? In the first two issues it looked a little one sided but here when he’s trying to cheer up a demoralised Renee (who blames herself from the not entirely successful fight with the undead), he gives off the impression of being a little more interested in the girl, especially with the butch. I like Renee and perhaps Xander could date her. It’d be a bit more plausible than Buffy.

As Willow her awesomeness is highlighted when she quickly discovers that Amy’s magic is mixed with technology and is also quick to tell Buffy that her and Kennedy broke up. Thousands of Willow/Tara shippers will cheer at that particular and it also might give the indication that Joss Whedon could either want to bring Tara back or just not feature Kennedy at all in this eighth season.

I don’t particularly hate Kennedy but from the word go, I just knew her and Willow wouldn’t last in the same way that we all knew that Buffy and Riley wouldn’t either. To Iyari Limon, it might feel like a slap in the face that even in comic book form, Kennedy is royally shafted. For that I pity her!

However the best thing about this entire comic is the scene between Buffy, Xander and Willow all reminiscing and discussing their lack of love lives. I have to admit nostalgically, it feels like the first half of Season One when all three of them were single and people/demons like Cordy, Oz, Angel, Riley, Spike, Tara, Kennedy and Anya didn’t play such major parts in the sexuality and teen/adult relationships. The only thing missing from that scene was of course Giles. It bugs me how he’s not in the same vicinity as Buffy, Willow and Xander.

Of course when things get a bit cute, there has to be something to spoil it and of course when Willow finally gets a reaction from Amy, it’s soon apparent that Amy’s magic does have technology on her side. This should be the gang’s first hint that Amy and General Voll are on the same team.

It also should’ve been a massive hint for Willow that her best enemy had managed to spring a trap as soon enough both Amy and Willow slip through a portal with a pissed off and confused Buffy and Xander to realise they’ve been played again. In a weird way, hats off to Amy who might as well savour her victory moments for the time being.

As for Willow – what’s worse than being tied to an operating table and having the woman who tried to make you off the deep end bait you about falling for a simple rope a dope stunt she pulled? I tell you – it’s learning that her disfigured boyfriend is none other than a skinless Warren, who’s more than anxious to repay the damage that was deservedly placed on him.

Its nice way of ending the issue but the phrase “what the hell” springs dangerously to mind. Put it this way, Warren’s reappearance is most definitely not welcome. Shouldn’t be dead? Why on earth would Amy want anything to do with him? These are only two questions that need answering.

Also in “The Long Way Home Part 3”

Cover art this issue was Willow looking dark and somewhat kinda sexy with tonnes of mist and smoke.

Ethan: “We haven’t oodles of time.”
Buffy: “You’re a chaos worshipping winnable sorcerer who takes up none; count it none of my subconscious. Which means you forced your way into my dream.”

With Ethan constantly saying “pet” and “my love”, is there any chance that he might have feelings for her? He was being pretty lecherous by saying those phrases a lot.

Amy (to Willow): “Oh man, this craft is weak; didn’t you almost destroy the world once? Now you can’t even put up a fight.”

Xander: “Ladies and gentlemen, the indescribable Rosenberg.”

In some of Buffy’s memory we got to see Faith, Tara, The Master, graduation, Joyce’s death, Angel, Spike, Riley and even Joss Whedon himself. How bizarre!

Ethan: “I’m more an antique Roman than a Dane.”
Buffy: “Did I mention I’m not crazy good at symbolism?”

Willow: “Serious magic is kinda like improv, Dawn. You can’t just stop it cold, you’ve gotta adapt.”
Dawn: “Is that why I’ve got an army of the undead playing Pride And Prejudice around my ankles?”

Aside from Kennedy dying for a month, coming back to life and ending her relationship with Willow, what else has the latter been up to for the past year? It’s not like she had the opportunity to tell Buffy much.

Xander (re the quietness of Italy): “Sounds good to me.”
Andrew: “No trust me, you’d be bored stiff.”

Renee: “You’re so butch.”
Xander: “Almost a kind of masculine vibe, don’t you think?”

One of Andrew’s slayers was reading Fray. There was an ad for the same franchise in this issue too.

Willow: “Seems like things are hopping here.”
Buffy: “Same old. Cept for Dawnie. She’s definitely not Mama’s little girl anymore.”
Willow: “Yeah, what’d she do, bone a Thricewise?”

Xander: “There’s funny bonhomie happening and I want in.”
Buffy: “No, ahh, ahh, girl thing.”
Xander: “Girl thing? With girl parts? Now I really need to know.”
Willow: “Slow year Xan?”

The letter pages seemed to indicate that this eighth season might go on for forty or fifty issues. There are pros and cons to that of course.

Amy (to Willow): “Great big all powerful earth-mother goddess and she still falls for the rope a dope.”

Warren (to Willow): “Killing Buffy Summers is gonna be a party. She pissed me off more than a little but you Rosenberg. You really got under my skin.”

Chronology: Minutes from “The Long Way Home Part 2”

Continuing on a very strong note after the excellent previous issue, “The Long Way Home Part 3” wastes no time in setting up mystery and confrontations but how the heck Warren’s return is going to impact on this series is mystifying. I hope Joss Whedon knows what he’s doing bringing this guy back. Still at least we got some quality moments with most of the Scoobies.

Rating: 8 out of 10.

My Review of Buffy The Vampire Slayer's 8x02: "The Long Way Home Part 2"

Written by Joss Whedon
Artwork by Georges Jeanty

Dawn: “What do you know? You don’t have a sister.”
Xander: “Have you seen this place? I’ve got all my sisters ‘n’ me!”

After a disappointing no-show in the first issue, the returns of Giles and Willow are two of the many things that this second instalment in “The Long Way Home” four parter gets so right. Mind you don’t expect a lot from either character!

With Giles it’s a rather brief appearance at the beginning where he muses about how he used to be a watcher and how watchers in general tended to outnumber slayers but how thanks to “Chosen” that statistic has been more than reversed. This musing thing was done in the first issue but while Giles’ doesn’t add anything we don’t know already, it’s still pretty good to have him back no less.

Staring out of his balcony, Giles surveys the plethora of new slayers training and compliments them before telling them that while some of them are developing skills that could even surpass Buffy, it’s generally not enough. At this point, Giles’ lecture is in danger of falling into the same format of Buffy’s ones from Season Seven.

So it’s then a pretty good thing when we cut to Buffy, who quips about slayers fighting alone is formidable before getting her main girls Leah, Rowena and Satsu to try and trounce her. Naturally the girls fail but Buffy is quick to compliment them on their moves and even Satsu’s hair.

It’s nice to see Buffy building a little bit of a rapport with the girls instead of being a strict general. Pissing off slayers last time got her kicked out of her house. I’m pretty sure Buffy doesn’t want to be kicked out of that lovely castle she’s acquired in Scotland, especially given that she’s got an upcoming war on her hands.

If Giles’ lecture was risky and Buffy’s was fun, then the one Andrew gives to his bunch of slayers on a campfire trip in Italy is just pointless. Unlike Giles and Willow, Andrew’s return for me wasn’t particularly warranted so his little tirade in regards to what he felt about Return Of The Jedi is just tiresome.

One of the reasons why I can’t stand Andrew as a character is because he walks around like a Geek Encyclopaedia and uses his pop culture savvy in a way that is generally unhelpful. Then again, I’m probably one of a few people who feel Andrew was neither use nor ornament in Season Seven or in this issue at all.

Andrew’s rant about Lando Calrissian’s outfit is apparently a more relevant discussion topic than giving his batch of slayers some weapons knowledge. Then again, his anti-gun stance soon has him getting onto some dos and don’ts in regards to head butts, which makes me hope some of these slayers head butts him for the hell of it. Suffice to say my Andrew hatred won’t be dying down just yet.

However when there’s something I hate in this comic book, it’s usually followed up by something I love and Giant Dawn using an entire lake to bath herself while talking to Xander about Buffy not wanting her there is a good scene.

Okay whinging Dawn is hardly compelling but it’s better than listening to Andrew babble on about Star Wars and once again, she has a point. Buffy may be building a good rapport with her slayers but she is generally still ignoring her but in fairness the fact that the gang can’t be bothered to contact Willow and change Dawn back or find Kenny and see if he’s able to reverse the process is annoying me.

Xander is once again stuck in the role of mediator and tries to excuse Buffy’s lack of contact and while I’m sure Buffy does wish Dawn was getting an education rather than being a giant, it still wouldn’t kill her to spend some time with Dawn. One of the amusing things about Dawn’s situation is her splashing Xander after he makes an inappropriate quip. On screen this could’ve really worked too.

Onto the more serious elements in this issue at Drextal Corp Recycling Technologies or the even lamer version of The Initiative, which personally I prefer to address it as, we have the vile General Voll telling a suit that he generally wants Buffy out of the picture.

Besides being responsible for the destruction of Sunnydale and the fact he views Buffy and her slayers as terrorists, I can’t help but wonder what other reasons he might have for eliminating her. He’s hardly Mr Squeaky Clean himself as he pretty much admitted that he has no aversion to blowing things up himself either.

Then there’s the fact that he has half sun down logo which we see when he’s on his own. It was the same symbol the victims at that derelict church had in Issue 1 and there has to be something significant to it. In all fairness it’s too much of a coincide to not bear any significance.

So the questions regarding this particular reveal are – Is Voll a part of some doomsday cult? Is he even more destructive than he cites Buffy and her girls to be? The answers to this aren’t gonna come any quicker sadly. Which sucks given when comic books are a monthly basis.

Getting back to the thorny issue of Dawn being a giant, both Buffy and Xander go back to discussing and more or less what they say here is a rethread of what they’ve said before, well to an extent.

Essentially Xander throws the notion to Buffy that while Dawn didn’t deliberately make her super big, subconsciously Dawn wanted her attention so bad and by having something so extreme happen to her, perhaps she would finally get it.

Of course Buffy has so far treated this as an imposition, neither her nor anyone else has actually tried to come up with a solution or contact Willow about it and once again, Buffy also tries to downplay Dawn’s abandonment issues as well, even though Xander is quick to point out that Dawn has lost a lot of people she’s deeply cared about in recent years, including Buffy herself at two different occasions.

Another reason why Buffy then isn’t so keen to discuss Dawn is down to the fact that she really wants Xander to come to bed with her. The first actual shock of the entire book is the possibility of a Buffy/Xander hook up and seeing as the two of them kiss with Buffy knocking Xander’s head off and then being set alight by a demon gave things away about it being a dream sequence.

Buffy and Xander as a couple is a strange thing though. This issue hints the possibility but doesn’t actually say that something like that will happen. Buffy hasn’t gotten laid in a while and for over a year, Xander has been the main man in her life and his new proactive watcher style role is quite alluring.

If history didn’t dictate otherwise, I’d almost jump at the chance of Buffy and Xander together. Anything would be better than the horrifically toxic relationship she had with Spike in Season Six but on the series Buffy never displayed any sexual attraction towards Xander and his crush on Buffy also seemed to wane as well.

Also I don’t even get the vibe that Xander is really into Buffy now. Although he hasn’t exactly openly grieved for Anya or met anyone else, he still doesn’t seem to be anything in Buffy’s life right now other than good friend and trainer to the new slayers.

You’d also have to wonder how Renee would react if Xander did go for Buffy too. Her attraction to Xander is a lot more forthcoming in this issue as one of her slayer mates is quick to notice the sudden interests Renee has taken upon herself as well as the fact that Renee was quick to volunteer them for night watch.

As for Buffy being burned to a crisp by a demon, that was all a part of dream, one she seems to be also locked in a Sleeping Beauty. In reality Amy has put the whammy on her and has an unconscious Buffy tied to the bed while deciding to do Voll a favour and finish her off.

The thing with Amy is while she may have gotten craftier in her spells and was able to sneak into Buffy’s bedroom, it didn’t take long for Xander and a few girls to note their displeasure at seeing her as well as shooting the bitch in the arm with an arrow.

While it’s true to form for Xander to slag off Amy’s lame sacrificial knife which managed to become split in four, its Amy who still has the last laugh. After all she was still able to get into Buffy’s room and put her under that spell so while her attempts to kill her are a failure she succeeds in pointing out to Xander only a kiss will wake Buffy while the other slayers are busy battling the army of the undead Amy also brought along for amusement purpose.

Just like Sleeping Beauty, the kiss has to be from someone who is in love with Buffy and Amy’s baiting about Xander perhaps giving it a whirl might back up the theory that perhaps Joss Whedon just might pair Buffy and Xander up as well. I’m still not sure about this but Buffy is pretty useless to the season if she’s asleep so if Xander’s kiss is the very thing that wakes her up, then fine by me in the respect.

In the land of nod when Buffy isn’t dreaming about kissing Xander and being roasted alive and constantly reminded that she is the dark, there’s a mysterious older man who calls her “my love” and tells her that there’s a lot she needs to see. I think the chances of us finding out who this guy is are a bit higher than the grotesque thing Amy is screwing around with.

Speaking of Amy, while she might be feeling all smug about Buffy being in dream world and her zombies doing some slayer damage, that little smile on her face is wiped out when Willow hover over her window and basically challenges. It’s a play on Giles’ reintroduction in “Two To Go” but it ends this issue nicely and a fight between Willow and Amy via magic should be very fun to watch.

Also in “The Long Way Home Part 2”

Cover for Issue 2 has Eye Patch Xander all stealthy in his leather jacket alongside Buffy. I love how physically Jo Chen’s artwork resembles Sarah Michelle Gellar and Nicholas Brendon.

Giles: “There were hundreds of watchers and one slayer. Scales have tipped of late.”

Last Issue Buffy had a Serenity Logo, this week her T-shirt is Hong Kong Phooey. Satsu also had a “Rude Girl” badge. Those style of badges are popular among students.

Xander: “That’s overstating it, don’t you think?”
Dawn: “I’m a giant, everything I state is over.”

General Voll (to a suit): “There’s no problem so big or complicated that it can’t be blown up. That’s not a saying we share with the public but …”

Where exactly is Drextal Corp based? From last issue, I would guess somewhere near Sunnydale.

Buffy: “No, no I can’t go outside, I’m afraid of the dark.”
Xander: “Buffy, you are the dark.”
Buffy: “That’s what I meant.”

Buffy has got some interesting looking weapons in her room. One of them almost resembles Faith’s knife from Season Three.

Amy (to an unconscious Buffy): “I couldn’t bear it if this was painless.”
Xander: “Amy, long time, no desire whatsoever to see.”

Xander: “This isn’t open wand night in Sunnydale sweetcheeks. You’re dealing with pros.”
Amy: “Any of you pros notice she’s still asleep?”

If Buffy’s room is so mystically protected, then shouldn’t Amy little Sleeping Beauty plan never have come to fruition? Or does the protection spell not view involuntary slumber as harm?

Renee: “Please there’s no love.”
Slayer: “No right of course. The sudden interest in comic books, James Bond movies and drywalling has absolutely nothing to do with Mr Harris.”

Xander: “But not friend love.”
Amy: “Right. Someone who wants to kiss her, like they’re passionate about her.”
Xander: “And not a sister.”
Amy: “Well a twisted sister.”

Anyone notice the dress Willow is wearing is very much the same one Tara wore in “Once More With Feeling”?

Xander: “Who’s breaching?”
Slayer: “Living dead sir.”
Xander: “Man, Amy you’re doing all the classics tonight.”

Willow (to Amy): “As a friend of mine once said, I’d like to test that theory.”

Chronology: About a day or two after “The Long Way Home Part 1”.

Better executed than the opening issue, “The Long Way Home Part 2” merits from the returns of Giles and Willow, the Buffy/Xander/Dawn scenes, adding more mystery with the dislikeable General Voll and making sure Amy is her very nasty self. It also helps that the quips are kept a coming and the action wasn’t far behind either.

Rating: 8 out of 10.

My Review of Buffy The Vampire Slayer's 8x01: "The Long Way Home Part 1"

Written by Joss Whedon
Artwork by Georges Jeanty

Buffy: “The thing about changing the world … Once you do it, the world’s all different. Everybody calls me ma’am nowadays.”

It’s been four years since Buffy and company have parted our TV screens. I think I can speak for the majority of viewers when I say it was time for the show to end. All good things come to an end after and no-one appreciates a show that outstays its welcome. Charmed I mean you!

Within those subsequent years I’ve latched on to many shows including the big cultural zeitgeists such as Alias, Lost, Battlestar Galactica and Heroes and I have a soft spot for Supernatural while shows such as Smallville and The Dresden Files have been the odd guilty pleasures for me.

The biggest shows in a post Buffy/Angel world that ignite the same bloodlust and undeniable passion for me have the phenomenal Doctor Who and its fun if flawed spin-off Torchwood. As it doesn’t need to be pointed out, we are now in a situation where there are more genre shows than you can shake a stick at.

The bigger question is why after such a reasonably longish time has Joss Whedon decided to continue his career landmark in the form of comics? Don’t get me wrong, I knew there was no way in hell that he would be able to round up all of his main cast for a movie but even the inner cynic in me has to ask that very question.

The very public Buffy lover however is thrilled about learning what has happened to some of the characters he’s cared deeply about since “Chosen”. I may have stopped wondering after a while but having official answers is something I wouldn’t have dismissed for the world.

Like an episode of the show itself, things open up on a pretty sharp note. We have Buffy musing about how the world has changed because of what she did to the Slayer line and soon enough herself and three slayers named Rowena, Leah and Satsu jump from a helicopter all secret agent like and storm a church in Scotland protected by a force field.

Well I lied, the force field is pretty useless because soon enough Buffy and company are able to get past that but soon enough they find themselves scrapping with a bunch of lizard like demons. A part of me thinks they look like something from a Marvel comic but they look brilliant that it doesn’t matter.

One of the best things about this opening sequence is the dialogue and it’s undeniably Joss’ with the demons stupid enough to underestimate Buffy and our main Slayer then happy to rectify that arrogance by literally crucifying him. I just had to throw that pun in there, despite its risk of being deeply immature.

However a bunch of demons attacking a church isn’t any good without a body count or better an idea of what they are after and when Buffy spots a weird symbol on the victims chest along with some arsenal, this comic already has you grabbed.

Then it gets slightly better as the previously underused Xander is told by his best friend to send Giles a copy of the symbol found on the victims. It turns out that Xander has gone from carpenter to watcher in over a year. Not that I’m complaining because if Andrew could become a trainee watcher then surely the more useful Xander would be deserving of an elevation in status.

One of the worst things about the last televised seasons of Buffy was the horrific lack of Xander. Obviously better at taking criticism than the likes of Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse, if making Xander a watcher is Joss Whedon’s attempts of further developing his character and just simply giving him more to do, then Joss is going to have a lot of pleased readers on his hands, including me.

With both Willow and Giles being collective no shows in the first issue (and yes, that is a major let down), it’s Xander and his general awesomeness that really makes this comic fly in a lot of places. Sure this issue doesn’t lack some mystery or a fight sequence or two but Xander is the best damn thing of this entire issue.

Reasons to love him here include playing his not unfamiliar role of confidant to Buffy, who once again has managed to distance herself from others. In fairness I’m glad Buffy is talking about her fears and insecurities to one of her best friends rather than sleeping with a peroxide vampire she’s never loved.

What’s great about Xander is while he’s sympathetic to Buffy’s plight he’s also savvy enough to know that a lot of Buffy’s distancing is essentially her own fault, not that even Buffy is keen on admitting it. Xander doesn’t push the issue and manages to lay off some of the moralising that has been annoying in the past.

Another thing that Xander seems skilled in is his new role of watcher. In Season Seven Xander did have to look after some of the potentials in his own home, now he’s actually instructing them and unlike the relationship some of them seem to have with Buffy, the girls here take to Xander and his instructions pretty well.

In particular there’s a girl named Renee who seems to be happy at the very sight of Xander and has even gone to the extent on reading up on her Nick Fury, much to the new watcher’s delight. In fact Xander’s very response is a nudging nod to how Whedon credits his fandom’s general savvy.

However the biggest state of Xander awesomeness throughout the entire first issue is his role of mediator between a quarrelling Buffy and Dawn. Remember how in both “Grave” and “Chosen”, Buffy made allusions of building a relationship with Dawn? Well suffice to say, the first problem they have and Buffy slips into the role of Crap Sister. Yes, that’s right viewers, its Dawn’s side you should be taking.

Seeing as Dawn is now at least 17, the girl has naturally become sexually active and a tryst with a Thricewise (it’s not explained what that is here) named Kenny has reaped the nasty consequence of her becoming fifty times her normal size. In fairness Dawn should count herself lucky – there’s no way Season Eight could redo something like an Angelus type nasty first time sexual experience. As for us readers, thank God we don’t have to deal with a supernatural pregnancy.

While Dawn may have gotten several warning from various concerned people about bonking Kenny and not heeded them, I have to admit that Buffy’s lack of concern is a pain. Your sister has become tall; perhaps worrying over treating it like an imposition is a more responsible reaction because Xander certainly thinks so.

As a detractor recently pointed out, if Buffy became gigantic, you’d bet your ass Willow would be summoned ASAP to undo it but like the Fred/Illyria debacle on Angel, Dawn has to wait until Willow comes back and this is one reason why she had better pop up sooner as opposed to later. So instead of being in Berkeley, Dawn is now in a castle.

It also doesn’t really help that while not only does Buffy have to be practically nagged into seeing her sister but when she does, she’s not exactly helpful. Buffy has a right to be concerned about Dawn being safe but hey, Dawn also has a right to be in relationships of her choosing even if her judgement is suitably wonky. Not wanting to divulge to Buffy the extent of her fling with Kenny and instead only to tell Willow does very little to remedy the tension.

As much as I like Dawn, I can’t exactly admit I’m keen on the idea of a Giant Dawn for this entire arc. I’m sure in case of attacks Buffy and her new Slayers will encounter, a Giant Dawn would be an advantage but unlike Xander’s new and improved role, it feels like she’s getting the short end of the stick.

Also as for the new girls of the bunch, we’ve only encountered four new Slayers and while the likes of Satsu, Rowena, Leah and Renee are probably the most strongest or experienced of the lot, a part of me missed not having Vi, Rona and even Kennedy around the place. On the plus side, these new girls managed to not bog down proceedings and if that doesn’t earn the girls some likeability, then what will?

Moving away from all the interpersonal stuff, there’s also the set up of some big trouble and unlike The First Evil, these ones are perhaps tangible. The symbols on the victims that Buffy and her Slayers found don’t look good. At first I thought these victims might have been sacrifice material but it was kinda deduced earlier on that they had gone into that church looking for a fight. I keep wondering whether whatever is behind it is the season’s Big Bad or a foe solely for this arc alone.

But that’s not the only problem facing Buffy and the gang. Once again, the US government, perhaps a new formation of The Initiative lead by General Voll seem to also pose a threat. Of course, like The Initiative, Voll views himself as a good guy and is quick to draw parallels between Buffy’s destruction of Sunnydale and her band of Slayers as a terrorist cell. The guy even makes the audacious comment of Buffy being deliberately anti-American as well.

The Initiative weren’t exactly the most effective villains we’ve ever had on the series and Voll’s little army aren’t as enticing as pure evil, a cavalcade of ancient vampires of a Hell God but either way, Joss plans to use Voll for something and the demented general and his people aren’t surveying what is left of Sunnydale, they end up nabbing two attackers.

The first one which seems to be a boyfriend is unseen but alluded to as being disgusting but it’s the girlfriend who really sparks interest and low and behold, it’s non other than Amy Madison.

Amy’s a clever little thing who turns being captured into her own advantage as the comic comes to a conclusion. Not only will she help General Voll take Buffy down but she’ll do it provided her and her boyfriend are let go and given a laboratory and magical hardware as well as immunity if they success.

It’s great to have Amy seemingly cast as a season big bag. It makes sense but I’m really wondering who her boyfriend is though. Since she became human, Amy only had a flirt with some random guy in the episode “Smashed” when she wasn’t trying to send Willow of the deep end.

It doesn’t take much to guess that Amy’s willingness in helping General Voll is motivated by a desire to get back at the Scoobies, especially Willow. Amy’s irrational hatred hasn’t died down. Still though, I’d take her more seriously than Voll any day of the week.

Also in “The Long Way Home Part 1”

Artist Jo Chen seems to be doing two covers for each issue. The one I acquired was the solo Buffy with the scythe.

Demon: “Stupid human, I am no vampire. You think I fear the cross?”
Buffy: “You might wanna start.”

It turns out that there are two girls pretending to be Buffy, one of them is dating The Immortal which Andrew thought would be funny. Not so funny if Angel and Spike had blown the girl’s cover in “The Girl In Question”.

Leah: “That were a wee bit repulsive.”
Buffy: “Went okay. Cept I feel a little weird about using a crucifix to kill someone.”
Leah: “Yeh dinno much religion, do yeh?”

Xander: “I used to be in construction. Pay was good, hours were way better than this. They even ended occasionally but when duty calls you don’t exactly get time to screen.”

So far this Season Eight seems to be running for an undecided amount of issues. How about 22, like each regular season would be itself?

Renee: “Wasn’t Nick Fury a Colonel when he ran S.H.I.E.L.D?”
Xander: “I like him better in his Howling Commando days but your nerd points are accumulating impressively.”

General Voll (re Buffy): “Worst of all, they’ve got a leader. Charismatic, uncompromising and completely destructive. I mean for the love of God, look what she did to her home town.”

I noticed Buffy was wearing a Serenity logo on her shirt. This issue had ads for the Serenity comic as well.

Buffy: “You’re a terrible watcher.”
Xander: “Well clearly.”

In the beginning of this issue Buffy mentioned there being at least 1800 slayers out there with 500 of them working for her in 10 different squads. The gang are making an effort to contact the rest, right?

Dawn: “Kenny never said he was a thricewise.”
Buffy: “I said he was a thricewise, Leah said he was a thricewise. Giles said he was a thricewise and he only met him on the phone.”

There’s a lot of people missing from this issue including Willow, Giles, Andrew, Kennedy, Rona, Vi, Faith and Robin.

Buffy (to Xander): “I miss my home. I miss my Mom, I miss the gang and churros and sex. Great muppety Odin, I miss that sex.”

Chronology: It’s been 18 months since “Chosen”, so it’s November 2004.

Well this was definitely a good start to what will hopefully be a compelling continuation of the Buffy-verse. “The Long Way Home Part 1” earns points for the Whedon esque dialogue, the introduction of some old and new baddies but scarcely referencing other characters and being only 32 pages long makes you feel a bit short changed at times. Still though, Joss is finding his feet and it will take a while before everyone really sinks their teeth into proceedings but at least we’re off to an interesting start.

Rating: 7 out of 10.

Lost - Season 2 Review

US Airdate: September 21^st 2005- May 24^th 2006 on ABC.

The Island drama hits quite the few bumps in its second run as we’re introduced to new characters, hatches and learn just how far The Others are willing to go to get what they want.

I Swear If I See Another Hatch, I Will Scream – At some point in every good series, you are gonna come across hopefully one season that will test patience and faith in the show. This happens to every single show going but when you are a show that has become a cultural zeitgeist, the critics are even more anxious to tear you down even further. Season Two is sadly the very season in question for Lost.
The show wasn’t alone as ABC’s other zeitgeist, Desperate Housewives the same uninviting fate and since then recaptured its glory. However some viewers seem less forgiving about this show’s less than stellar second year.
The first half of the second year has two major plots – the hatch discovered by Jack, Kate, Locke and Hurley and the discovery of survivors from the tail section of Flight 815.
There were plenty of things you could hope to find in a big hatch but a Scottish bloke named Desmond with an affinity for Mama Cass and a computer telling you to programme those infamous numbers every 108 minutes to avoid destruction wasn’t one of them.
Still though it opens up premiere episode “Man Of Science, Man Of Faith” pretty well but for some odd reason why this hatch would become a temporary blessing and a hindrance to the series, the more interesting things in regards to the opening episode involved Shannon spotting a captured Walt. Spooky Walk is one of the many things this season won’t bother to explain and if you think about it too hard it will lessen your enjoyment of the season.
With Desmond’s slight arc dominating both “Adrift” and “Orientation” and not really igniting much interest, the best thing from these two episodes is the introduction of the tail section. We already met the volatile Ana-Lucia from the Season One and it’s amazing for a character who seems to be a better leader than Jack that she became an instant hate figure for audience but thankfully the charismatic Mr Eko and the introduction of Rose’s husband Bernard and fellow tailies Cindy and Libby in “Everybody Hates Hugo”, you’ve got the most compelling plot to the first half of this season. The tailies first capture Jin, Michael and Sawyer when they mistake them for member of The Others and then decide to help them go back to their camp.
If the Fuselage had suffered with Claire, Charlie and Walt’s abductions, then Ana-Lucia and company’s experiences with The Others have fared worse to the point where Mr Eko is hiding in the bushes in “And Found” and Ana Lucia is more than willing to leave a wounded Sawyer behind in “Abandoned”. The sixth episode is the first one of this season with some real action and our second kill with Ana Lucia inadvertently shooting Shannon. To nearly every viewer that solidified Ana Lucia as a hate figure but at the same time any realist would’ve noted that it was an accident but still the very harsh experiences that the tail section had to suffer at the hands of being stranded on the island and routinely attacked by The Others is brilliantly highlighted in “The Other 48 Days”. Easily the best episode of the series’ entire run, this captivating episode was essentially a retelling of the two part Pilot episode but it was much better and it really made you sympathise with Ana Lucia all the more.
With keeping Sayid from killing her, Ana Lucia’s flashback episode “Collision” offered some explanation into her abrasive nature while not attempting to justify her killing of an innocent woman.
With the tail section and the fuselage all reunited, stuff that happened in between wasn’t quite as compelling. Okay we had Locke and Jack constantly fight over control of the hatch like jackals, Hurley being badgered by Charlie who in turn was badgered about Locke in regards to his addiction and co-dependant relationship with Claire and Aaron but overall the tail section drama kept these episodes more exciting.
The flashbacks this season however hit a snag in predictability. For instance with Sawyer, it’s scamming someone, Jack who just wants to fix things and Locke who seems to be consistently duped. Kate’s only flashback episode the predictably titled “What Kate Did” revealed that her crime involved doing in her scumbag biological father and only upped the by now tiresome triangle between her, Jack and Sawyer. I don’t really understand why the writers both so much with this arc when the likes of Sun and Jin, Rose and Bernard and the developing romance between Hurley and the mysterious Libby are far more believable.
Better plotted however was “The 23^rd Psalm” which revealed that the silent but deadly Mr Eko was once a deranged drug lord and also had him scaring the crap out of the smoke monster to boot. Even yapping Charlie’s involvement couldn’t bring this plot to its knees along his contribution to Season Two is akin to Andrew’s in Buffy Season Seven – horrifically pointless.
After a good start the second half is less than impressive and our confrontation with The Others in “The Hunting Party” is dull. It doesn’t help a lot that Jack is an unsympathetic asshole throughout the entire episode with little cause. Even direr is “Fire And Water” which not only represents the series’ worst episode but is also just horribly all over the place. Both Charlie and Locke were characters I liked in the first season but by this year, I had grown tired of them.
The worst thing about the Losties is that if they aren’t sharing information, then they’ll resort to dirty tricks in order get power over each other. Sawyer did this in “The Long Con” by getting Charlie make it look like The Others attacked Sun so it’s a relief in “One Of Them” when Danielle re-emerges to bring back a mysterious man named Henry Gale who she believes is in cahoots with The Others despite his protestations other wise. The criminally underused Sayid doesn’t believe him and is quick to torture him but the wily man played to perfection by Michael Emerson, is soon just conflict among Jack, Locke and Sayid to his advantage. By the next episode “Maternity Leave” you’ll have already figured out which side Henry is on but honestly Danielle helping Kate and Claire and the discovery of her daughter Alex is a joy even more than Sun’s discovery of her pregnancy in “The Whole Truth” and the closeness that it brings to her and Jin but the season takes a progress with “Lockdown” as Locke managed to get duped again and we learn Henry Gale isn’t the real man’s name before Libby’s suspicious past is tapped upon in “Dave”. I liked the idea of a Hurley/Libby relationship but this episode did make me wonder whether or not her intentions towards Hurley were noble.
It’s a pity that both Michelle Rodriguez and Cynthia Watros’ drink driving offences became their undoing because once we get past the rather dull “S.O.S.” (which gave us some backstory on Rose and Bernard), the pivotal “Two For The Road” then saw both Ana-Lucia and Libby spectacularly shot by Michael, who was coerced by The Others in order to get Walt back. It’s a fantastic parting episode but surely Libby could’ve been spared long enough to give us more on her. Too bad for us then!
With this episode finally igniting some real excitement and danger back into the series, the final four build upon it and the discovery of another hatch in “?” is superfluous compared to The Others demanding to Michael during his flashbacks in “Three Minutes” to bring Jack, Kate, Sawyer and Hurley to them.
Season finale “Live Together, Die Alone Parts 1 and 2” then has our Jack, Kate, Sawyer and Hurley all bound and gagged at a pier where the captive foursome learn that Henry Gale is the leader of The Others while for a second year in a row, Locke decides to put people’s lives in danger by stopping Mr Eko from punching in the code. Frankly I’m sick of Locke’s volatile nature being excused or skimmed past. He caused Boone’s death in Season One and got away with it and here he nearly caused more deaths. As much of a pain in the backside Jack is, even he isn’t that. Other highlights included Desmond’s return which was far better than his introduction and his flashbacks involving girlfriend’s Penny’s attempts to get men to reach the island is intriguing.
Season Two has had a mixture of ideas, some were excellent, and a lot weren’t. There were some unmissable episodes and there was ones that I wouldn’t be in an immediate hurry to watch again. Some more answers, less of the daddy issues wouldn’t go amiss.

EXTRAS: Well there are the usual array of commentaries for the likes of “Man Of Science, Man Of Faith” with Matthew Fox and Cuse and Lindelof, “What Kate Did” with Evangeline Lily”, as well as ones for “The 23^rd Psalm”, “The Whole Truth” and “Dave”. You’d think with episodes as strong as “The Other 48 Days”, “Two For The Road” and “Live Together, Die Alone” we’d get producers talking about them too. Disc 7 has the most material though with an extensive behind the scenes on at least ten different episodes, a smattering of deleted scenes, theories by the show’s actors and fans alike, a rundown of Sawyer’s nicknames, secrets about the hatch, the Channel 4 trailer, flashbacks we didn’t see and some hilarious bloopers. Fault the season all you want but the DVD set is once again excellent.

EPISODE RATING FROM 1 TO 10:

2x01: Man Of Science, Man Of Faith = 8/10, 2x02: Adrift = 7/10,
2x03: Orientation = 7/10, 2x04: Everybody Hates Hugo = 6/10,
2x05: And Found = 7/10, 2x06: Abandoned = 9/10,
2x07: The Other 48 Days = 10/10, 2x08: Collision = 8/10,
2x09: What Kate Did = 7/10, 2x10: The 23^rd Psalm = 10/10,
2x11: The Hunting Party = 6/10, 2x12: Fire And Water = 4/10,
2x13: The Long Con = 9/10, 2x14: One Of Them = 7/10,
2x15: Maternity Leave = 8/10, 2x16: The Whole Truth = 8/10,
2x17: Lockdown = 7/10, 2x18: Dave = 8/10,
2x19: S.O.S. = 6/10, 2x20: Two For The Road = 10/10,
2x21: ? = 8/10, 2x22: Three Minutes = 7/10,
2x23: Live Together, Die Alone Part 1 = 8/10,
2x24: Live Together, Die Alone Part 2 = 8/10.

Season Two is currently available on DVD.

David Tennant On The Friday Night Project – March 2008

I don't usually do reviews for shows like this but this is a one off as it was quite a hilarious episode. I've been watching it again on YouTube.

Well The Friday Night Project is by far the funniest in terms of both a skit show and a chat show series. Since 2006, both Alan Carr and Justin Lee Collins have taken over the reigns and elevated the series' popularity even more than usual. Not that the original hosts weren't
any good but Carr and Collins' have had a natural chemistry that makes this such an irresistible watch.

One of the many highlights of the previous seasons has been the relentless teasing of Big Brother contestants but because the sixth season of The Friday Night Project has started weeks before BB9, this series has had to improvise a little.

The opening episode with Elle McPherson was pleasant enough and like many shows like this, the enjoyment largely depends on who is guest hosting. Some guest hosts' work well, other fall flat and really excellent ones come back for seconds.

David Tennant is a good example of the third outcome. He wowed audiences last year when he presented the opening episode of the fourth season so pulling him in for episode 2 of Season Six seems a smart choice.

For Tennant, his stint came a week before Doctor Who came back to our screens so it was one of many shows in which he could plug the new season. Alan and Justin seemed to have fun about the idea of Catherine Tate perhaps playing her character Donna like her iconic swearing Nan and David did spill the already established spoiler that Season 4 would be a hot bed of companions. And with the uses of Dave Ross, maybe a certain Dalek creator is coming back also.

As for the guest hosting, Tennant managed to better himself even more. Dressed in a sleek and sexy suit, we had Tennant play out a group therapy session with Alan and Justin which descended with the three of them going into Asda and declaring their love for each other. Trying to keep a straight face during that bordered on the impossible.

It also helped that the comedy came in thick and fast. The lead singer of the Wombats came out with some comment about his mum that David, Alan and Justin all misconstrued for something else and both obesity in Scotland, a pregnant transsexual and Camilla's anatomy can under fire during the news section.

Other highlights include the "Who Knows The Most About The Guest Host" bit. With Freema Agyeman and Suzanne Shaw doing their best to help Alan and Justin, the host with the most did manage to electric shock his fellow hosts. Actually Freema was the only one who managed to escape being shocked and she did hesitate at one point.

However we did get a pure silly moment in this spoof with Carry On Who. Seriously it's times like times where innuendos can go a bit too far but the Cyberman's baby a little cutie and Tennant played it up for laughs better than last time. Also the questions moments from the audience saw a defence of genetalia and a lucky woman ruffling Tennant's hair.

The big highlight of the episode though was the prank bit. All the celebrities resort to an extreme prank to scare the living daylights out of some ordinary person. Sometimes this person happens to be a fan of the guest host, but in recent instalments it's just been random
strangers. Either way it's one of the best parts of the episode.

In this episode it was the best thing full stop. Given that Doctor Who has got an obsessive fan base, it was thought that the sight of David Tennant bound and gagged to a bed in his undies being kidnapped by an obsessive fan would be the perfect recipe for some unwitting estate agent. Gee, not much stereotyping there then.

Granted the agent in question fell for the trick set up by David and the guy's boss but imagine if he had left David Tennant bound and gagged to the bed? Well apparently one of his mates did. When you think about it, the spoof is the type of peril situation that would've
been common on the old Doctor Who.

Overall as episodes went, this one was clearly the most inventive and filthiest of the bunch. We've had plenty of great hosts and gross out moments but this one really did take things that bit further. Does this mean that we can get John Barrowman for a second time, now?

- Freema Agyeman mentioned something about French Fancies to escape
getting buzzed at one point.
- The strangest place David was asked for an autograph was in a shower
at a gym.
- The nurse in the spoof for Carry On Who had a rude name and three
breasts.
- We saw a clip from “Partners In Crime”.
- David looked horrified when Justin read out Doctor Who porn. Though
he did joke that the second one came from John Barrowman's blog.
- Suzanne Shaw once got mistaken for Hannah Spearitt.

Quote Of The Episode

David Tennant (bound/gagged to a bed to Barry): "This room here. In here please, hurry up. I'm in here. Please this fucking psychopath has had me here for two days. Please get me out of here. This fucking mental man, this fucking nutter has had me here for days and, and I've been fucking tied to this bed. He fucking kidnapped me in this house. Thank you for coming. Why are you here?"

Rating: 10 out of 10.