And finally, the wedding that no-one wanted to see became a thing and the unlucky groom ended up not living long enough to regret it. Also other things happened.
Written by Brad Falchuk
Directed by Michael Uppendahl
They're Married: And it lasted far shorter than expected. Will made a series of bad judgements in this episode, so his death was somewhat inevitable and not that devastating either. Not listening to the jealous Miss Evers about the Countess was his first mistake. Then he married her and was something of an asshole about his newly discovered stepson, which the Countess (understandably) did not like one bit. Then he got sealed up in a segment of the hotel with Ramona and she killed/fed on him while both the Countess and Evers watched with a sense of glee. Will, you were pretty and you'll stay that way as a ghost. You were also incredibly dumb and this show could've handled your bisexuality far better than it actually did but thems the breaks it seems.
The Exes Club: If only Will had actually sat down and talked to Rudolph, Natacha, James, Ramona and Donovan beforehand, right? Nah, he still would've been a dead man but it's interesting that excluding Tristan, pretty much of all of the Countess's paramours are all still into her again. Even Ramona in spite of her determination to kill the Countess will probably be clamouring for her soon enough, though this episode had Donovan betray Ramona after getting back with the Countess but on the plus side, we got a rather touching backstory with Ramona and her parents when she wasn't drinking from a porn star and making Will into a permanent resident in the Cortez. If two of the Countess's loves can survive, I'm going with Ramona and maybe Rudolph.
Husbands Meet: I was actually surprised that James didn't directly kill Will himself in order to scupper the Countess's big plans but then again, maybe he did indirectly by making sure he saw/reacted badly to her son at the most convenient of times. This episode explored March's devotion a little more to the Countess and also Miss Evers unrequited love for March too. March didn't do a lot in this episode but every scene he had was still fun to watch though.
Three's A Crowd: Ah, the Countess. When she wasn't lamenting about men ageing, making terrible choices and surrounding herself with sycophants and traitors, she was also plotting to make herself a widow, romped with Donovan and even wanted to take out Natacha in the trio with herself and Rudolph. I actually think the last few episodes could have all of her lovers (not Tristan) band together and ultimately take her down. Then again, with this show, it wouldn't be that simple.
In Other News: That vampire kids plot from a few episodes back resurfaced when Alex realised that her act of kindness has resulted in a lot of chaos. It's not the most exciting of storylines but I get the feeling it'll be quickly tidied up by next week though and at least Alex was trying to sort out her own mess here. Other stuff that happened included Iris giving a not so original commentary on porn (she killed the director/female performer while Donovan took the male one) while Sally and John were no shows this week and Liz made her growing hatred for the Countess pretty clear at every given opportunity.
Next week, we've got Natacha going after the Countess and Alex roping in John to resolve the vamp kids problem.