Written by Hank Chilton
Directed by Jerry Levine
Siobhan (to Henry): “That’s Bridget. She’s the one living the lie with Andrew, not me. And I’m still pregnant with our child.”
You know how last week’s episode basically felt like nothing of real interest actually happened? Well, thankfully this week’s episode was something of a massive improvement with Henry actually becoming privy with the antics of Bridget and Siobhan but then again, he did more or less back Siobhan into a corner when it came to her end confession.
For that reason, I actually found myself enjoying Henry to a certain degree. I mean, he’s still annoying but at least he didn’t take everything Siobhan was saying to him at face value, actually followed her, set Victor on her and because of all this, he managed to get a confession out of her in the end.
Of course, Henry is still unaware of the fact that Siobhan’s series of lies factored into Gemma’s death but at least he knows the woman playing happy families with Andrew is Bridget and not the woman he loves. Oh God, I actually sound like I care about Henry’s happiness. I apologise – I really don’t but I guess I’m happy that at least one other character knows a bit more than before.
Henry also better hope for his sake that knowing about Bridget and Siobhan’s antics doesn’t result in him being killed off anytime soon as well. It didn’t fare well for Gemma when she became privy to things and given the way things were shaping in this episode, I’m not so sure Henry is going to be thankful to actually have Siobhan back in his life, even if she is carrying his child.
Oh, Siobhan – it’s been twelve episodes of this show and I’m still clueless as to what you’re actually up to. Annoyingly, I believe your feelings for Henry are genuine and I find myself amused that Bridget keeps wrecking your plans without actually knowing she did but at this rate, it would be sort of nice to actually know what the hell you’re up to.
Is all this scheming just a ploy to get at Andrew’s money or ruin him in some way and if so, why? What exactly has Andrew ever done that bad that Siobhan would be motivated to do this to him? This episode made some great character progress but it needs to make more and we need to know what Siobhan is actually up to and fast.
Also, can we please lose Tyler at this point? He’s sweet and I don’t like seeing him being duped by Siobhan, so unless his character is going to take an interesting turn and preferably soon, I don’t think there’s that much point in keeping him around. Still, if he shows some suspicions towards the woman he thinks is carrying his child then that could be fun to watch.
Speaking of fun to watch, I really enjoyed seeing Bridget piecing things together in relation to Siobhan. She realised that her sister was carrying on with Tyler and that Siobhan had actually been to Wyoming prior to contacting her and also came more or less to the deduction that her sister was still dead. Without making the hardest of efforts, Bridget is a far superior at figuring things out than Victor will ever be.
This also gets to my other point – what’s more frustrating than not knowing Siobhan’s motives behind her actions is Victor’s ineptitude throughout this episode. He thought he was being clever with Jimmy but even that guy was able to pull the wool over Victor’s eyes by confessing to the strippers’ deaths. Every time it seems like Victor makes any progress, something seems to undo it.
Even when he had Siobhan in his custody, he couldn’t keep her there. Siobhan did manage to dodge him as best she could and that was despite the false passport and the Charlie/John association as well. Basically Victor sucks at his job and this is becoming an increasingly thankless role for Nestor Carbonell, much as I hate to admit it. Oh and Bodaway can just go away as well. I do not care for that character one bit.
In better plotting, it’s actually looking like Juliet is telling the truth about Carpenter if Tessa’s little confession is anything to go by. I’m finding the twists in this episode in relation to that plot pretty amusing and even the presence of Catherine, who managed to be a Grade A Bitch to both Bridget and Juliet at different points in the episode didn’t deter matters. It still feels too seperate a plot for the show but it’s better than anything Bodaway related or Victor’s uselessness as a character, so points there.
Also in “What Are You Doing Here, Hoe-Bag?”
Bridget was a bit tactless in this one when she was calling Malcolm. Erm, Bridget, security can actually hear you, you know.
Siobhan: “I know it doesn’t make sense but I did it for us.”
Henry: “Did what for us?”
Siobhan: “I ended the relationship to protect us.”
Where are Henry’s kids by the way? Shouldn’t they be one of his main priorities right about now?
Catherine: “What’s your problem, Siobhan? After all, it was my tub first.”
Andrew: “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in an apron before.”
Bridget: “I’m channelling Martha Stewart.”
Andrew: “You know I’ve got a thing for her, right?”
Bridget: “That’s gross.”
We saw courtesy of CCTV that Juliet actually did come to Carpenter but later changed her mind. However, I’m sure Juliet isn’t a virgin. We did see her with a fella back in the “Pilot” episode.
Tyler: “I’ve been thinking about you and the baby. Is it weird to miss someone you’ve never met?”
Siobhan: “I don’t know.”
Catherine (to Juliet, re Carpenter): “What the hell is wrong with you? You try to do him right there in the hallway?”
I liked the word jumble thing that Bridget/Siobhan used to do and something the latter later did with both Andrew and Henry. I guess it beats twin-speak. Also Siobhan’s limo man, Solomon previously appeared in a similar role in Cruel Intentions.
Henry: “Why did you kill Gemma?”
Siobhan: “Why would you say that?”
Henry: “Because I know you did it, Bridget?”
Bridget (re cowboy boots): “I thought I was so cool.”
Juliet: “You weren’t cool, you were a redneck.”
Bridget: “I know, right?”
Standout music: There was an interesting version of “Tainted Love” used in this one.
Bridget: “My sister and I we used to do word jumbles when we were kids.”
Catherine: “Did you sleep behind her husband’s back too?”
Bridget (to Malcolm): “Siobhan lied. She knew where I was before the trial. She knew I was in Wyoming because she was there too. If she was looking for me, why didn’t she contact me?”
Chronology: A few days from “It Just Got Normal” left off.
“What Are You Doing Here, Hoe-Bag?” definitely is a better episode than the previous one but anything that forwards the show is going to be a good thing. Sadly though, good as this episode is, I’m not sure if this show really does have a future, considering that the ratings haven’t been good at all.
Rating: 8 out of 10